randy90631 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 When do I ask for the girl I'm dating to decide whether she wants to be with me or not? Situation: I've been dating a 28 year old girl for 7 weeks now. We have a lot of fun together, laugh, and have very good chemistry. She knows I'm looking for someone to fall in love and share my life with. I'm 30 years old, and it's time to cut the crap. After 4 weeks of dating I asked her what she thought about dating exclusively. To which to said that we should get to know each other a little bit more. She hasn't had a boyfriend in 4 years. Her cousin informed me that she is very casual when it comes to dating and I'm the best guy she has ever dated. I see a lot potential with her, and I can see myself falling for her. I do understand that people take relationships at different paces. Two aspects about me is I have a big heart and I don't like the uncertainty of casual dating after the first month. I've dated enough women and since I'm very observant, that I can recognize a girl worthy of a serious relationship usually between the first and second month of dating. I'm also starting to get mixed signals. We have a date set for Thursday and I asked her she wanted to have coffee tonight, to which she said she had errands to run, but we'll see each other Thursday. This was via text message. She setup a date once 4 weeks ago, and hasn't initiated a text message conversation since 12/26. I think I'm doing all the pursuing. My friends think that I'm being strung along until someone better comes around. My step-mom says to go with the flow and let things develop on their own. I don't want to fall for this girl and it not develop into something serious. I do have to protect my heart. I believe me falling for her is inevitable if enough time goes by (ie. 4 more months or so) Option one: go with the flow and wait for her to decide on her own if she wants to be in serious relationship. This would risk my heart being broken if she waits too long. Opition two: wait until 2/14, ( that is one day before three months of dating) and ask to make a decision of either she wants to be in a serious relationship with me or not. If not, end it. I am dating someone else, but that girl isn't as great and the first girl. Are there any other options I should consider with girl number one? Thanks everyone for ur comments!
Jynxx Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Just go with the flow. Giving her an ultimatum is a bad idea, as it looks very needy and will push her away. Enjoy your other options, give her less attention and have her take the initiative a bit.
Jazzari Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I'd back off and let her initite contact. There's a fine line between chasing someone (good) and being a puppy dog (bad).
fishtaco Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I vote for go with the flow too. And while you're at it, date more women. If #2 isn't all that, why don't you go out and get more?
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