germanfastmaus Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 hello everyone, i'm new here and thought i would make this post to find out if others feel the same way. I'm 38, unsuccessful, single, and no kids except my pets. I'm overweight, smell bad, and play bass guitar. I attend school, i havent had a job since 2008....and i like cartoons. thats my life.. so i looked thru some dating sites to see what kind of people were in my area. WOW, i shouldnt have done that. there are what i would call successful people, nice looking and single...and it makes me think, if they are single, what chance do i have?? i've been single since 2006 and i think i may very well remain single forever. i think my family knows it also, which doesnt bother me, but interestingly enough, my folks bought their burial plots a while back, and they went and bought mine too LOL, seriously. The said they know i wont ever have anyone or anything in life, so i guess they feel they will have to support me..anywho, reason i wrote this comment, is to find out if anyone else refuses to date because they realize they arent good enough? or maybe low self esteem?
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I think some also date because they have low self-esteem as a way to re-assure themselves that someone out there likes them. You have identified things that you can change. Start with one of those things, such as being overweight, and do something about it. Try the Physical Fitness forum for ideas on how to begin.
Disillusioned Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Well, I've lost 40 lbs since last August, started 2 home businesses, bought some sharp-looking new clothes, paid off all my debts except the property tax, and am currently in the middle of cleaning up every square inch of my property... but I'm fighting from a position of strength. I've "succeeded", but I use it as leverage to snub women who take an interest in me. I just get a kick out of dishing some of that mean-spiritedness right back at them.
Misa Misa Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 It is great u know who you are, next step is to work on your weakness. If you don't think having no job, being over weight or smelling bed are problems, you should be happy now. If you are not feeling happy, work on changing them...
Author germanfastmaus Posted January 5, 2011 Author Posted January 5, 2011 hmm i dont think they are problems for myself, but i also realize that i only have to impress myself. if i actually had to worry about impressing someone else, i'd have to change too much. i dont believe in the "theres someone out there for everyone" myth. Besides, when i read some of the things ppl on this board say about their SO, it actually shocks me. to me, if you are with someone, you are with them regardless of what they are going thru in their personal lives. i read how some say "he doesnt have enough money" or "he is afraid of commitment." last relationship i was in, it lasted for 5 years, and i was glad it was over. trying to impress someone for a solid 5 years is too much like being an indentured servant for me.
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