Author hanging on for now Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 The second that she stepped over the line and broke one of her vows the contract of marriage between the two of you was broken. You have acknowledged and are learning from your mistakes. You are going to take you new found knowledge and implement it in your next relationship, and you can already know that it is going to be over the moon. Her choice, she can ride with you, and if not you are moving on. Life is too short to mess with a loser. Her and the OM do not have a future and will eventually dump her. The way I see it she is between a rock and a hard place. For once you leave and don't look back, she is going to be left all alone. You want to get back at the OM. You say the OMW is attractive. Expose her to the affair and then offer your shoulder to cry on, somebody to talk to By your words, I wonder how your marriage is going? You see, even if this doesn't work out, which I pray it does, I still love her and don't want to punish her. She is being punished enough by the guilt of this $hitty mess. I agree the other guy isn't going to marry her. His wife is sorta in the way and since he hasn't told her, it appears he is only interested in playing. I am going to get word to her but am waiting for him to be away on business. It will give his wife a chance to work through some of this without him around. I don't know her and won't be a shoulder to lean on. I will tell her what I know and give her my wife's phone number. That isn't being mean; my wife told me if she called she would confirm the affair. I don't care if he gets hurt and quite honestly, I don't think this was his first rodeo. I hate to hurt his wife but realize I'm just carring the mail, I didn't write the story. Doesn't anyone in this blog think 25 years is worth a second chance?
Windsurf66 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 i think even a decade is worth a second chance, provided she still love you and wants to work it out, right from the start of D-day But, the fact that she was screwing the OM when you were trying to save the marriage, that it was guilt due to her religion and breaking the vows that made her stop (she did not really stop because you!), that she is hesitant even till now, reveals alot about how she feels about you (does not love you) and the marriage, which is basically dead. Of course, u should still try, else you will always look back and regret, but dun pin your hopes high.
robf1971 Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I appreciate your words. I don't come from the throw away society and do marvel at the number of people who just say dump her. . Most of the people on here who say "dump her" went through months if not years of what you are going through before coming to that realisation. Many of them fought hard for their marriages. You need to expose the affair to this man's wife.
Author hanging on for now Posted January 13, 2011 Author Posted January 13, 2011 Most of the people on here who say "dump her" went through months if not years of what you are going through before coming to that realisation. Many of them fought hard for their marriages. You need to expose the affair to this man's wife. I will, just not now. He's leaving her be at the moment and is 250 miles away. I'm would rather be on slightly better ground with my wife and him away from his before the shoe falls. I figure he will contact my wife the minute he's confronted with this. Right now she has no desire to continue the affair and signs are present that we might pull this out. Although his wife has the right to know, I'm focusing on mine at the moment. Also I figure if she doesn't say anything to him for a couple of months, he will relax and figure he's got away with it. As Gomer says, "Suprise, suprise, suprise!"
robf1971 Posted January 13, 2011 Posted January 13, 2011 I will, just not now. He's leaving her be at the moment and is 250 miles away. I'm would rather be on slightly better ground with my wife and him away from his before the shoe falls. I figure he will contact my wife the minute he's confronted with this. Right now she has no desire to continue the affair and signs are present that we might pull this out. Although his wife has the right to know, I'm focusing on mine at the moment. Also I figure if she doesn't say anything to him for a couple of months, he will relax and figure he's got away with it. As Gomer says, "Suprise, suprise, suprise!" For goodness sake, don't expose to get back at him. The only reason to expose is to end the affair and send the OM back to his wif c*ck in hand. If you are sure it's ended then there is no need. The question is how can you be sure?
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