greenteagal Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 At New Year's I kissed my boyfriends friend. In my right mind I would not have kissed anyone, but him, however, I let myself get way too drunk and to the point of not remembering half of the night. As if that was not enough disappointment, when he got mad at his friend and wanted to fight him, he was sent outside. I did go with him because I happened to see him, he then told me we needed to leave and to get my friend. I attempted to get my friend, but unfortunately, I went to go see where she was and then forgot to go back. My boyfriend is rightly upset with me and first of all because I kissed his friend and second because I forgot he was outside. I feel terrible and so sad that this happened, it makes me want to never pick up another shot in my life. I can only imagine how he feels right now, wondering if I would ever do that again and if he wants to continue to open up to me, feelings that I abandoned him. I feel like crap and I hate that he does not feel safe to share his affection with me right now. It has only been three days, but he still contacts me, but not like before, today he did tell me he thinks of me too. He told me all that bothered him and that he is considering that I am not the type of girl who would be like that and that I was so drunk that I did not remember a lot of things that night, including the making out as he said, that I thought was only a kiss. Be as it may, I cannot argue that, but I am so sad about the night and want to know if I can get a better understanding on what he may be going through, as he is not ready to open up. I want to make it right and not be pushy and be there as he needs me. I am not sure what to do, I am at a loss and reaching out to cyber world, I have not been in a situation like this before and I do not want to lose this man. I know he is a better person than me and now I am wondering why I ever gave him a hard time for only slapping a girl on her butt when he was drunk. I am open to comments and suggestions, please.
Seamless74 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 well i believe kissing your boyfriends friend is unpardonable and I for one would would show you the door.. However if he decides against his better judgement to take you back then you should show him the door for being a weakstick.. quite the cunundrum eh..
Surrealist Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 It's going to take some time for him to come to terms with what you did. Some trust has been broken and he may be thinking that if you have the propensity to kiss another guy while inebriated, then you may well have tendencies to go the full way and cheat on him. Should you be apologetic to him, do not offer up any excuses for your behavior because that will only further exasperate his ill feelings toward you. Yes you were drunk, but it is no excuse for that kind of behavior.
Distant78 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 (edited) At New Year's I kissed my boyfriends friend. In my right mind I would not have kissed anyone, but him, however, I let myself get way too drunk and to the point of not remembering half of the night. As if that was not enough disappointment, when he got mad at his friend and wanted to fight him, he was sent outside. I did go with him because I happened to see him, he then told me we needed to leave and to get my friend. I attempted to get my friend, but unfortunately, I went to go see where she was and then forgot to go back. My boyfriend is rightly upset with me and first of all because I kissed his friend and second because I forgot he was outside. I feel terrible and so sad that this happened, it makes me want to never pick up another shot in my life. I can only imagine how he feels right now, wondering if I would ever do that again and if he wants to continue to open up to me, feelings that I abandoned him. I feel like crap and I hate that he does not feel safe to share his affection with me right now. It has only been three days, but he still contacts me, but not like before, today he did tell me he thinks of me too. He told me all that bothered him and that he is considering that I am not the type of girl who would be like that and that I was so drunk that I did not remember a lot of things that night, including the making out as he said, that I thought was only a kiss. Be as it may, I cannot argue that, but I am so sad about the night and want to know if I can get a better understanding on what he may be going through, as he is not ready to open up. I want to make it right and not be pushy and be there as he needs me. I am not sure what to do, I am at a loss and reaching out to cyber world, I have not been in a situation like this before and I do not want to lose this man. I know he is a better person than me and now I am wondering why I ever gave him a hard time for only slapping a girl on her butt when he was drunk. I am open to comments and suggestions, please. Wow. Both of you cheated. Just go NC. Edited January 4, 2011 by Distant78
ivalm Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 @Seamless74 -- that's very mean, the girl is really heartbroken! @Distant78 -- slapping a girl on the butt is not cheating @Surrealist -- I agree But most of all, greenteagal, you should be supportive of him, tell him you love him, that you are very sorry, and promise (to yourself) to never get so drunk again, it just isn't healthy. You should also understand that he MAY decide to leave you; he would still be in the right.
Mad Max Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 @Seamless74 -- that's very mean, the girl is really heartbroken! So is your girlfriend kissing another guy. @Distant78 -- slapping a girl on the butt is not cheating Regardless, it's a dumpable offense in my book. If you slapped another girl's ass, I'm sure your GF wouldn't take too kindly to it. But most of all, greenteagal, you should be supportive of him, tell him you love him, that you are very sorry, and promise (to yourself) to never get so drunk again, it just isn't healthy. You should also understand that he MAY decide to leave you; he would still be in the right. Exactly. He has every right to end the relationship.
ivalm Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 So is your girlfriend kissing another guy. I agree, most likely dumpable offense, but depending on how I felt about her/how much invested I could try to work through it. If you slapped another girl's ass, I'm sure your GF wouldn't take too kindly to it. I never drink until I'm drunk so wouldn't happen to me. If it did, I'm sure it would be upsetting to GF but certainly it's not cheating. It's not like all girls suddenly become unattractive when you're in relationship.. Again, if it happened more than once it would be reason to dump. Exactly. He has every right to end the relationship. I don't think anyone argues about that. He certainly has the justification to end this. The questions is, what can SHE do to make sure he doesn't.
Distant78 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 @Seamless74 -- that's very mean, the girl is really heartbroken! @Distant78 -- slapping a girl on the butt is not cheating @Surrealist -- I agree But most of all, greenteagal, you should be supportive of him, tell him you love him, that you are very sorry, and promise (to yourself) to never get so drunk again, it just isn't healthy. You should also understand that he MAY decide to leave you; he would still be in the right. So slapping a girl in the butt is not cheating? Sorry but that's cheating to me.
lysa Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 It is too good for those users who are not well knowledge about kissed to boyfriends. You can get entire information which you want.Thank you
Author greenteagal Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Thank you all for your thoughts. It is more to go by. I hate this whole situation. I do not even feel there is a reason as to why I would have kissed someone else, it really sucks, because in my right mind I would not have made that choice. I don't like the feeling of how out of control I remember that night. I hate that I cannot remember so much, what I did half the time there, leaving, going home, walking to the car, it felt like I blacked out. It doesn't seem right that I cannot remember so much with the amount I have experienced in the past. My boyfriend was with me that night, I didn't go on some wild girl spree looking to hook up with another dude. This whole things sucks and I am tired of trying to explain to him that I don't remember so much, that I seriously woke up that morning and said how did I get home. I did not have anymore alcohol than I have had in the past and this blacked out feeling has never happened before. Anyways, I am in a bad situation and the only way I will be able to move forward with him is now in his court. I love him, but I feel so hopeless about everything. I would not have made this decision on purpose because I lusted after his friend in some way or was out to get him or make him feel bad, because I am a bad girlfriend. We were going and opening up so wonderfully. But how can you honestly explain that to someone who just saw you kiss someone else? He saw a shocking, stomach dropping event and he is now so disappointed and I cannot make it better or take it away.
JustJoe Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 All you've done here is try to excuse your behavior and feel sorry for yourself. With all due respect, you should be doing whatever it takes to reassure him about this, and remember YOU broke it, YOU fix it. He is probably not into you right now, so tell him you are ready anytime he is to talk about it, and that you are willing to take the blame for this incident, no excuses,and that it will never happen again. I think that this will show where you are being honest, and that it was a ****ty mistake and nothing more.
carhill Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Drink less and always control your drink. Keep it in your grasp and, if mixed, make it yourself if possible. Your comment about having your 'normal' alcohol and never before experiencing such a response gave me pause. Mistakes have consequences. You're feeling them. It sounds like your BF has made a few mistakes too. I'd suggest both of you drink less. The sober world isn't really all that bad
Author greenteagal Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Thanks carhill and JustJoe. I hear what you are saying. This has helped to talk and sort out my feelings and get a better perspective on my wrong doing. It's so not easy feeling like crap right now and not hearing from him like usual, but like yall said just confess and move on. Signing off.
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