RomoGuy Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 (edited) Im going to make this as short as possible. I'm a 23 year old guy, I have been with quite a few girls before, only one of which was a 2 year serious relationship. After the first night I met the girl I'm madly in love with I thought " That is the one".. I never had that feeling before with anyone. She is 6 months younger than me and has never "been with a guy" only dated 2 guys before for less than 2 month.. We hit it off amazingly, we had so much fun together, it was unreal, we fell head over heels in love. Her family and friends also saw how amazing we were together and how we brought out the best in eachother and they all loved me. We both got better when we were with eachother, we dropped bad habits and bad friends and continued to get better. She would tell me that I'm the the man of her dreams and Gods gift to her. We both felt the same! It was better that the love you see in movies. Everything was going great, we were creeping up on 6 months, until literally one morning I can tell from her voice that something was wrong. But she wouldnt tell me. We would tell eachother anything, if there ever was an issue we would tell each other and always end up resolving it. But she wouldn't. She told me she was going to talk to an older friend of hers that gave her advice that same day and that she would talk to me in the morning. The next day I try to contact her but no reply until the afternoon when she texts me and wanted me to meet her at the park. I end up going there and she ends up telling me that Im not the guy for her, because I basically am not spiritual enough for her and basically that I don't respect my parents enough and that maby one day I will disrespect her. She told me she loves me more than anything, but if we both don't have the Lord burning in our hearts, we wont make it through the hard times. I begged her not to give up on me and she said she wasnt. She said she knows I am amazing and that one day I will be brilliant but she cant be with me, not that day. She said maby one day but not that day..... We both cried and we told eachother ' I love you' and before she left I told her i want to be her friend, that I want her in my life anyway possible and she said she wanted me to be her friend and be in her life. And before she left I told her " just how we have worked through many other issues, We will work through this one" then we both left. She then texted me hours later basically saying 'no contact' so that we both can focus on what we need to do.... so for the first 2 days I beat myself up over it, praying and wondering how did this fantasy love story come to this? I kept saying to myself, I should have been better! I need to be more of a Christian! Then I realized, We all need to be better, we all need to be more christian.. not just me! nobody is perfect... Nothing adds up, how can someone go from being the man of someones dreams and God's gift to them, to being not good enough? or not yet? I believe it was influence from the lady or her father .... It has been 4 days and I have not contacted her... I love her and will always and I still believe she is the one. I also wonder if I will ever be good enough in her eyes.. I want to be with her, what do I do? I believe she needs her space to realize and analyze what is going on, and ultimately she will have to decide, but how long do I wait? if she doesnt contact me in a month or so, what do I do? there are too many unanswered questions and nothing adds up. Edited January 4, 2011 by RomoGuy
daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 It could be an excuse. Or it could be influenced by someone else. You won't know for some time, honestly. The one thing you do know, is that this young woman for whatever reason is willing to throw away what you have over a rigid view of how your relationship should be. I wonder if she knows about your previous history and she doesn't share the same so it maybe something in her mind. But honestly, do you want to be with someone who is extremely religious that will become rigid in their views about everything? I've known a large number of guys whose relationships ended over the woman being zealous in her religious practices and they weren't nearly as zealous. Step back from it and ask yourself if that's what your'e willing to sacrifice. She's young and may not realize that what you offer her is awesome in its own right and to respect where you are at.
Eddie Edirol Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Dood, she checked out on you probably at the 4 month mark. Everything she said that was wrong with you was probably excuses, but what really happened was she was shopping for another bf before she dumped you, and then found him...and thats why she just up and left you out the blue. She's not as virtuous as you think.
Surrealist Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Yes it raises a few questions. It's certainly possible that the lady who she spoke to had a major influence. Some Christians are very gossipy, controlling and dominating over other peoples' lives. However you do need to ask yourself if your level of commitment to Christianity is on par with hers, and that you are not merely going through the motions with it just to please her, as this will come undone with time.
youngskywalker Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 She told me she was going to talk to an older friend of hers that gave her advice that same day and that she would talk to me in the morning.......I believe it was influence from the lady or her father .... but how long do I wait? if she doesnt contact me in a month or so, what do I do? Above. It's very possible that her friends and family influenced her to move on from you. Not much you can do about it. If she loved you deep in her heart she would follow you and not her friends. I can't tell you how much this story brought back memories of a relationship I had 5 years ago. I grew up in a christian home, dated the christian girl, almost got engaged and her friends and family threw me to the curb. We had other issues too but not worth going into now. Sorry dude, but it's soooooo over you have no idea. When religious beliefs come into the equation there is nothing you can do that will change her mind. Let her go. I was heart broke for months but looking back now I'm really glad it didn't work out. You'll find the same. I am curious about one thing. Did you sleep with her? What was her reaction to that?
youngskywalker Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 She's not as virtuous as you think. Second that. Don't let people make you feel less than the quality guy that you are. You'll find someone better and who is willing to stand by your side. I know you're blaming yourself for this.... but keep an open mind that it's not your fault but instead hers.
Author RomoGuy Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 I understand your points, but she knows for a fact that I am good enough for her, she would tell me daily " how did I get so lucky", or "how did god make you so perfect". She would even say that when god made her, He had me in mind.... The strange thing is that I am good friends with all her brothers and sisters... and they do not know anything about whats going on.. They asked me why we broke up. Her and I were just as religious as one another... at times I considered myself more than her. This all Happened so suddenly. And the fact that none of her siblings know whats going on makes me wonder... For some reason I honestly dont think its over, too many things dont match up.
youngskywalker Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 A. My girl said all the same things to me too. B. Something happened or you talked about something that you're not telling us about. Time to spill the beans.
Author RomoGuy Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 No we did not sleep with eachother, we both agreed it we weren't going to unless we were married.
Author RomoGuy Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 A. My girl said all the same things to me too. B. Something happened or you talked about something that you're not telling us about. Time to spill the beans. Im telling you the whole story, thats why Im so confused... there is no more.. Nothing happened... there are not beans to spill...
youngskywalker Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Im telling you the whole story, thats why Im so confused... there is no more.. Nothing happened... there are not beans to spill... Well then I'm confused too. Hopefully someone else can help you. Cheers.
Author RomoGuy Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 does anyone else have any suggestions?
Recommended Posts