bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Went out last night. This absolutely gorgeous girl was all over me, all night. Got her number. Text her today, she didn't text back. So I ring her (I think more to see whether I got the right number (iphone + drunkness = mistakes!)). I didn't ask but she said she doesn't have any phone credit and was going to get some soon (ok fair enough!). I then asked her whether she'd like to do something in the week. She said yes. I then said that I was free on ____ day and asked her whether she would be. She said 'I might be' and didn't really give me any more than that. She playing hard to get or what? She gives me mixed signals. She said she would like to do something (good), but when I said I'm free on ___ day she gave me a maybe (bad). Is there a possibility of her getting p*ssed with my one day availability?! Also, she was all over me all night, she must like me (good), gave me her phone number (good) etc. I know a lot of you are going to say calling and texting her a day after is bad, which I probably agree. Should of just left it with the text. But, Captain Hindsight won't save anyone, so looking for pointers on what to do from here on in. Just leave it with her? I did leave it open. After she said that I said well get some credit and text me if you want to go out sometime. Or should I give her a call mid-week if I haven't heard from her, and then leave it at that?! Personally think that maybe I should wait for her to contact me, as I might have looked a bit desperate calling and texting a day after, so not contacting her might regain that a bit. But I don't know? The other side of me thinks maybe I should call her in a few days, as it is stereotypically the male who is seen to make the arrangements at first, but don't do anything until then?! I recently broke up and obviously it blows on your confidence with the rejection element, so even if this doesn't materialise, I need to think of it as a win regardless. Like an ego boost. She was really good looking, perfect figure, etc
welikeincrowds Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Calling next day is a good thing. Waiting does nothing for you. If she likes you, she wants you to call, and if it's the next day, even better. If she doesn't like you, then obviously there's nothing you can do. As for her, all that matters right now is that you don't have a date. Were you unable to schedule a different day? And how did the conversation end, who said they'd try again? Look, scheduling is really the simplest and most boring part of the whole thing, really. It shouldn't require conference with the league of nations. Call her again in a day or so and be pleasant but direct. Don't end until you've made a solid plan with her. If she can't complete this simple task then delete/block/ignore.
Author bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 (edited) Calling next day is a good thing. Waiting does nothing for you. If she likes you, she wants you to call, and if it's the next day, even better. If she doesn't like you, then obviously there's nothing you can do. As for her, all that matters right now is that you don't have a date. Were you unable to schedule a different day? And how did the conversation end, who said they'd try again? Look, scheduling is really the simplest and most boring part of the whole thing, really. It shouldn't require conference with the league of nations. Call her again in a day or so and be pleasant but direct. Don't end until you've made a solid plan with her. If she can't complete this simple task then delete/block/ignore. Thanks for the reply! It ended by me saying 'well give me a text and let me know if you want to do something'. I was a bit taken aback by her responding positively when I asked whether she wanted to do something, and then what I see as negatively when she said she 'maybe' available on that day. A bit confusing, and didn't want to persist on trying to organising something as I instantly saw it as a negative comment. Not like she said she wasn't available/busy that day, but I just felt that when it came to a specific day she kind of bailed a bit. Didn't offer another day or anything. But maybe I'm reading too much in to this, there could be many reasons for her saying maybe she's free. Maybe she's playing hard to get? Maybe she was a bit taken aback by me just giving her one day to work with/thought I was being a bit pushy. I don't know. Think she was hungover as well. I should have probably waited at least a day, but nevermind. I suppose I should just give it a bit and then call her up again, wait to see if she makes contact in the meantime, although I have a funny feeling she won't! If she doesn't want to do anything or gives me another flaky answer, I suppose I'll just have to leave it! Edited January 4, 2011 by bitteorca
AverageJoe Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Calling next day is a good thing. Waiting does nothing for you. I cannot disagree with this more. Some rules are true, and this is one of them. You may have already blown it . Hard to say. Next time you call to set up a date with her, do not be wishy washy about it again. In other words, you tell her when, where, and what time. If she wont/cant do it. You tell her you understand and maybe you two can try again in a week or so. In the meantime you call the next number in the pecking order.
zengirl Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 She likes the attention, but has no interest in you, really. That's my guess. Though I don't think it was about calling too soon----she probably never did have interest. If she was young, and stupid, and not really worth dating, she might have developed interest if you'd waited to call, because she was SO crazy for attention that the surprising lack of attention made her think you were interesting. But it'd be all over the second you gave her any, and you'd never have a decent time at it. That does happen. It sounds exhausting to me. And it's also a longshot. I've seen women write men off for calling too late more often than for calling too soon. Texting AND calling is a bit much, though.
welikeincrowds Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I cannot disagree with this more. Some rules are true, and this is one of them. No way man, I'm telling you. I'm pretty sure Men made that "wait three days" **** up in the Victorian era or something. It really does nothing, or hurts you. Although I came to this conclusion not through LS I have found the topic discussed in other threads if you care enough to search. I wouldn't like to frame it in terms of him "blowing it," because I think it would take a serious infraction to kill someone's genuine interest in meeting up in between an initial meeting and planning a first date, and I don't see one here. In that case it would be either that, or unrelated reasons specifically coming from her, in which case, no harm no foul. But I don't really think this is a definite no, I think OP just needs to laugh off harmless initial struggles and persist.
Eddie Edirol Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Man, you cant depend on a woman liking you when she met you drunk. She isnt giving you mixed signals, shes just to chicken to tell you shes not interested. You KNOW when a woman is interested in you, anything less is a flaker. Here's a good rule of thumb....if it isnt a yes, its a no. And maybees are always no's. Dont call her back, dont text her. Assume she wont text you again and move on. if she does
Author bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 She likes the attention, but has no interest in you, really. That's my guess. Though I don't think it was about calling too soon----she probably never did have interest. If she was young, and stupid, and not really worth dating, she might have developed interest if you'd waited to call, because she was SO crazy for attention that the surprising lack of attention made her think you were interesting. But it'd be all over the second you gave her any, and you'd never have a decent time at it. That does happen. It sounds exhausting to me. And it's also a longshot. I've seen women write men off for calling too late more often than for calling too soon. Texting AND calling is a bit much, though. She was interested in me, her tongue was in my mouth for the majority of the night! She was holding hands with me, hanging around me in the group, she gave me her number at the end, etc. If anything, I would have said her interest levels were higher than what I'm used to! I don't think I doubt her interest in me initially, I just think maybe she wants to stay single/doesn't have interest in taking it further. Could be anything really. But then again, I am being negative. Maybe I should of just said another day whilst I was on the phone, and then maybe she would of just said 'yeah ok then!'. That's why I'm posting on a forum like this to see what to do, because it could swing both ways really. If I knew it was game over, there would be nothing worth posting. That's what makes me think I should call in a few days and see what she says. If she bails/gives flaky reason then I agree that, for whatever reason, she doesn't want to go out and take it further
zengirl Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 She was interested in me, her tongue was in my mouth for the majority of the night! She was holding hands with me, hanging around me in the group, she gave me her number at the end, etc. If anything, I would have said her interest levels were higher than what I'm used to! I don't think I doubt her interest in me initially, I just think maybe she wants to stay single/doesn't have interest in taking it further. Could be anything really. But then again, I am being negative. Maybe I should of just said another day whilst I was on the phone, and then maybe she would of just said 'yeah ok then!'. That's why I'm posting on a forum like this to see what to do, because it could swing both ways really. If I knew it was game over, there would be nothing worth posting. That's what makes me think I should call in a few days and see what she says. If she bails/gives flaky reason then I agree that, for whatever reason, she doesn't want to go out and take it further Was she drinking? I know lots of girls (and guys, frankly) who will make out with men (or women) when they're drinking (not saying this is great in terms of things to do), but who don't ever plan to go out with them. But, hey, I certainly hope I'm wrong. And even if I'm not, I think being persistent (within reason and realm of self-respect) and making sure she's not going to be into you is for the best. What have you got to lose?
Author bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Man, you cant depend on a woman liking you when she met you drunk. She isnt giving you mixed signals, shes just to chicken to tell you shes not interested. You KNOW when a woman is interested in you, anything less is a flaker. Here's a good rule of thumb....if it isnt a yes, its a no. And maybees are always no's. Dont call her back, dont text her. Assume she wont text you again and move on. if she does I think this is a bit too negative. She did say yes to hanging out after all. I think I need a medium ground, which I think would be to call her in a few days to see how the situation goes. But not to text her or anything inbetween. Like I said, I might even get a text off her at some point, who knows
AverageJoe Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 No way man, I'm telling you. I'm pretty sure Men made that "wait three days" **** up in the Victorian era or something. It really does nothing, or hurts you. I cant speak to the exact three day rule. Hell, I have waited longer than that. I have tried both and it certainly can hurt you. We will just have to disagree.
deebeechrisyo Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I recently dated a girl similar to this bitteorca (Love that CD btw), it didn't last very long. I texted her the day after she spent the night, where she was very affectionate, and she did a complete 180 and became ice cold. I figured she lost interest so I stopped contacting her. She ended up booty calling me the following weekend. Basically, the cycle was: she was really into me whenever I ignored (whether voluntarily or not) her for a week at a time. She lost interest whenever I showed her some attention. If you want to get with this girl, either learn the "game" required to keep these flaky girls around. If you are like me and find this stuff tiring, then just forget about her.
Author bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Was she drinking? I know lots of girls (and guys, frankly) who will make out with men (or women) when they're drinking (not saying this is great in terms of things to do), but who don't ever plan to go out with them. But, hey, I certainly hope I'm wrong. And even if I'm not, I think being persistent (within reason and realm of self-respect) and making sure she's not going to be into you is for the best. What have you got to lose? Yeah she was, as was I. And I agree that some people are like that. And its fine with me if it was just that, at least I'm not taking things personally with all this. I knew she was in to me so if she doesn't want to hang out then maybe she just doesn't want a relationship with anyone. The thing that confuses me a bit is that it wasn't just like we kissed once or something. She was part of my group (friend of a friend etc) and was holding my hand, putting her arm in my arm, kissing me all night, dancing with me, just generally being around me. Some would say acting a bit like my girlfriend!! So I just thought I'd give it a try with this one, as she seemed really into it. Plus she did say yes to hanging out. She was hungover, and told me she had to make her own way home from her friends and kept telling me she really couldn't be bothered, so maybe she wasn't in the right mindset anyway! I know its easy to disregard the positives, but they are there. I'm not defending her in any way, it might transpire that she doesn't want to go out at the end of the day, so be it...I got off with a stunning girl! The ability is obviously there!
zengirl Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Yeah she was, as was I. And I agree that some people are like that. And its fine with me if it was just that, at least I'm not taking things personally with all this. I knew she was in to me so if she doesn't want to hang out then maybe she just doesn't want a relationship with anyone. The thing that confuses me a bit is that it wasn't just like we kissed once or something. She was part of my group (friend of a friend etc) and was holding my hand, putting her arm in my arm, kissing me all night, dancing with me, just generally being around me. Some would say acting a bit like my girlfriend!! So I just thought I'd give it a try with this one, as she seemed really into it. Plus she did say yes to hanging out. She was hungover, and told me she had to make her own way home from her friends and kept telling me she really couldn't be bothered, so maybe she wasn't in the right mindset anyway! I know its easy to disregard the positives, but they are there. I'm not defending her in any way, it might transpire that she doesn't want to go out at the end of the day, so be it...I got off with a stunning girl! The ability is obviously there! Not trying to be a negative Nancy. . . that was just my gut reaction as I read, but it's not like I know THIS girl. I don't think you calling her 'ruined' it for you. If it doesn't work out, I doubt it ever was going to. At any rate, , I don't mean to disregard the positives, in that you had fun, and that's awesome. Just hold onto that no matter what happens, but don't make it all about the outcome.
Author bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 I recently dated a girl similar to this bitteorca (Love that CD btw), it didn't last very long. I texted her the day after she spent the night, where she was very affectionate, and she did a complete 180 and became ice cold. I figured she lost interest so I stopped contacting her. She ended up booty calling me the following weekend. Basically, the cycle was: she was really into me whenever I ignored (whether voluntarily or not) her for a week at a time. She lost interest whenever I showed her some attention. If you want to get with this girl, either learn the "game" required to keep these flaky girls around. If you are like me and find this stuff tiring, then just forget about her. Great album isn't it! Yeah I agree, I don't have time for fickle girls either (although I'm running into them quite a bit these days, maybe its my age group) but I don't know whether this one is fickle or not yet, I suppose that's why I want to call her again and try it again. There's also an element of blame that probably needs to be attributed to myself. Maybe me giving her just the one day was a bit tough, and maybe she even saw through it, like 'oh he's giving me one day to work with, maybe I'll give him a "maybe" to work with'. I could have offered her a choice I suppose. I think I was going for the 'look busy' option. And I did have a date with another ridiculously hot girl the day after (which I believe has subsequently fallen through as well - another story, not worth getting in to though), and working the rest, so didn't have that much time really. Ah I'll just see how it goes. I can tell I'm over-analysing this to the max already, this is how I usually screw things up...
Author bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 But I don't really think this is a definite no, I think OP just needs to laugh off harmless initial struggles and persist. Haha I admire your enthusiasm! I think I agree with this. I think the biggest conclusion I can draw is that I don't really know at this stage. I'll call later in the week and find out then. If she bails or gives an excuse then I'll actually know it's a no, and won't pursue further. If she says yes then great. Like I said, I might have just caught her in a bad frame of mind, and not given her enough options with days etc
Author bitteorca Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Just thought I'd update this thread as and when things happen.... She added me on facebook... I think if she doesn't contact me in a few days i'll give her a call. She still hasn't got any phone currency (facebook snooping!) That is all!
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