Star Gazer Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 You forget. Men will do just about anything if they think it'll get 'em somewhere. I really disagree. For this guy, if that's true, doesn't that make him a John?
ivalm Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 You forget. Men will do just about anything if they think it'll get 'em somewhere. He could simply be well off. Not even very rich. If you make >$200k then you usually have >$60-70k disposable income per year. This means that spending $1k is reasonable.
jenifer1972 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Yup. The thing that raises my antenna a bit was the fact that he admitted he has done this " sweep a girl off her feet" with at least one other girl before. Not a great spontaneous thing he thought up just for you. But I don't trust strangers, and he is really a stranger to you. Just a first gut reaction, may not be right. Listen to your radar
Star Gazer Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 This means that spending $1k is reasonable. That's just the plane ticket. There's obviously going to be more to the date than that. Personally, I'd find this invitation outrageous, even from a guy who earns $1M a year, and would go running the other way. He's using smoke and mirrors to woo her.
alexlakeman Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Some good advice and some b.s. flying around this thread... 1. He could you just be a frequent flier and could get an extra ticket for little or no $... He would really have to be wealthy to spend $1K+ for a ticket on someone he just met.. I am sure he's got "friends" he could invite that wold guarantee him to get laid. I fly frequently, and typically , when it's nice places, invite someone to go , BUT they have to pay their air fare; nothing's for free nor could I afford it.. and my frequent flyer miles? Their just that, "mines".. I certainly couldn't afford to pay $1K+ on a plane ticket, especially some one I just met, that would be the wrong way to "impress" someone in the right fashion. 2. Kinda creepy though flying so many hours to another country, when you just met the guy.. For example, I am hitting Vegas for V-Day week for meetings.. I am not just going to invite some random woman I've just started going out with..just for a date.. I guess if the chemistry was there, I could see it happen. My ex g/f I invited her and she accepted a weekend at the Florida Keys last year , after only dating about a month.. I think the writing was on the wall that she would be sleeping with me, as I only reserved one room (we hadn't slept together yet), BUT it was not a "trick invitation" to get laid.. I specifically had asked for a room with TWO beds.. so no alterior motive.. 3. Skip it... If it ends up a relationship, I am sure there will be other trips.. He won't blow you off for you saying NO... 4. You women can get anything you want with your tits and v)gina, I'm jealous
alexlakeman Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 That's just the plane ticket. There's obviously going to be more to the date than that. If it's a business trip he is on, there won't be much more expenses.. His meals are paid for, so all he has to do is pay for her meals and there is lots to do in Paris in two days that do NOT cost $$.. He's using smoke and mirrors to woo her. How is that specifically? Why, b/c you don't get invited on such trips? "smoke and mirrors"? How does an invitation on a trip "smoke and mirrors"?
carhill Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I've made that flight a few times. Non-stop, it's actually 11 hours there, about 11.5 on the way back. I was just tracking AF83 on a 10.26 flight time and rounded down. It's about halfway there right now. Pretty good tail (~70kt) at FL35, making around 550kt. It's been a pretty good winter in the air, not so good on the ground. My exW could tell stories about me flying to Melbourne for dinner and Perth for a weekend and never even entering Germany and a number of other countries. You sleep and you're there and there's usually a friend to meet at the airport. Small world. Perhaps that's why I don't see a quick hop to Paris as a big deal. Wow, Fare (A1): UA SFOPAR LLXNC18S fare (rules) , psgr type ADT $147.50 Fare (A2): UA PARSFO LLXNC18S fare (rules) , psgr type ADT $147.50 with a 340 YQ to dump. OP, thank you for my next trip. 150 each way. D@mn
alexlakeman Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Yup. The thing that raises my antenna a bit was the fact that he admitted he has done this " sweep a girl off her feet" So he gets screwed if he's honest and screwed if he lies? Which would've been a better answer, a white lie, "no, you're my first"? LOL When I invite women to fly with me, they don't come around asking "am i your first"? OR "do you do this often"? I'd obviously answer, "no, of course not"...
musemaj11 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 (edited) He's not a doormat. He's just a sweet guy (I think..) Honestly, that kind of guy (provided he has a backbone) is the kind of guy that turns me on. Of course, what woman doesnt get turned on when a man spends a lot of money on her? Even all the women on this forum who are against you going would take up the offer if they were in your shoes. I can see your point. However, I think he's doing it because he is familiar with my background and trying to impress me. Although he doesn't have to go that far to do so. Exactly, a real player would know that. As for whether he is a player or not, he could be a player only if he is very wealthy and taking women around the world cost nothing for him. Otherwise, the Cost Per Lay is just too high if he is spending his own money. My guess is its a business trip. I hope it is because then I would feel sad for him. I feel sad toward men who rely on money to impress women because they must have really low self-esteem in terms their ability to attract a mate that they think they have to pay premium price for a chance at love. Edited January 4, 2011 by musemaj11
Star Gazer Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 How is that specifically? Why, b/c you don't get invited on such trips? "smoke and mirrors"? How does an invitation on a trip "smoke and mirrors"? I've been invited on similar trips, and after agreeing once with one guy, I ran in the other direction each subsequent time. This invitation is just over the top. There's no need for it whatsoever beyond an attempt to woo her with what he can do for her/buy for her/where he can take her. If a man can't woo me without his wallet, he's not the man for me. I find it funny though that you of all people are asking these questions. I thought you despised the thought of spending money on a woman?
Star Gazer Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Of course, what woman doesnt get turned on when a man spends a lot of money on her? Even all the women on this forum who are against you going would take up the offer if they were in your shoes. WRONG. All women aren't the same and do not act the same. I would not be turned on by this invitation, nor would I go.
denise_xo Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I went out on 2nd date with #1 guy and it was another good date. He's a sweet guy and we laugh a lot. We sat kinda close cos it was cold and it was cozy. But then he threw out an invitation for me to pick up a ticket at the airport and fly to Paris to meet him over the weekend. This weekend. I didn't really believe him at first and told him I had a lot going on at work (which I do) and that it would be tough for me to get out of things. He said he understood but persisted and talked about all of the things we could do. It sounded exciting. Sounded like I needed to be spontaneous. However... I don't know this guy. I don't like putting myself in vulnerable positions. As much fun as we might have, it might also turn into a nightmare. Or at least we might not get along that well, spending that much time together without really knowing each other. And I like to go slow. I almost said yes, but work said no go so I had to decline, with much gratitude. He was disappointed, but tried to hide it. My gf told me to go and asked to meet the guy. LOL. I showed her his photo and she was excited for me. She would have gone without thinking twice. How many other women would? I would have gone, as long as I had serious interest in him (i.e. not just going along for the trip) and if I had the money to cover a substantial amount of shared expenses while there (as well as enough money to get a separate hotel room should all go to hell ).
alexlakeman Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I find it funny though that you of all people are asking these questions. I thought you despised the thought of spending money on a woman? You are reading what you want to hear not what I actually post. In the lasat 6 mmonths its been lack of cash, not lack of not wanting to spend $ "with" a woman now "on a woman". I've never needed my $ to get laid but I enjoy going out dining and traveling when I can as much as the next person. So no it is not despised.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 I really disagree. For this guy, if that's true, doesn't that make him a John? That's a bit extreme of a jump. No, I think it makes him someone who's a bit spontaneous and likes to live life and have fun, in his case.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Yup. The thing that raises my antenna a bit was the fact that he admitted he has done this " sweep a girl off her feet" with at least one other girl before. Not a great spontaneous thing he thought up just for you. But I don't trust strangers, and he is really a stranger to you. Just a first gut reaction, may not be right. Listen to your radar From where he was going with it, I understood that he was trying to say he'd done as much for ex gf's but not someone he just met. My radar says he's all right. Not that I haven't been known to be naive in the past, but my radar was usually going crazy. Time will tell, really.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 He's using smoke and mirrors to woo her. I like the word woo. And sometimes you have to see how someone acts over time and not discount them completely. You never know when the guy is just a romantic sap or when he's full of crap until you give it some time and watch the consistency level. And there's no reason to be too jaded in dating or you could miss out on that one good one.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 4. You women can get anything you want with your tits and v)gina, I'm jealous If it could get us an honest, good guy then maybe that would be a true statement...
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 How is that specifically? Why, b/c you don't get invited on such trips? "smoke and mirrors"? How does an invitation on a trip "smoke and mirrors"? I've had that happen too, I'm afraid. Some guys will try to sweep you off your feet to get you to let your guard down too soon and feel like you're in an intimate relationship when you don't really know each other. It does happen. But usually they're kind of pushy and suggest that this could be it. He wasn't.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 I was just tracking AF83 on a 10.26 flight time and rounded down. It's about halfway there right now. Pretty good tail (~70kt) at FL35, making around 550kt. It's been a pretty good winter in the air, not so good on the ground. My exW could tell stories about me flying to Melbourne for dinner and Perth for a weekend and never even entering Germany and a number of other countries. You sleep and you're there and there's usually a friend to meet at the airport. Small world. Perhaps that's why I don't see a quick hop to Paris as a big deal. Wow, Fare (A1): UA SFOPAR LLXNC18S fare (rules) , psgr type ADT $147.50 Fare (A2): UA PARSFO LLXNC18S fare (rules) , psgr type ADT $147.50 with a 340 YQ to dump. OP, thank you for my next trip. 150 each way. D@mn With all of those acronyms, do you know where you're going? Wonder if I can hop on that site and find something to Italy for Spring.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Of course, what woman doesnt get turned on when a man spends a lot of money on her? Even all the women on this forum who are against you going would take up the offer if they were in your shoes. In his case, it's more the fact that he opens doors, pulls out my chair for me and does a bunch of little things that I like. That and he's a cutie. But hey, I won't lie. I don't mind if a guy wants to make me happy. Probably better to wait til you're in a relationship tho. I feel sad toward men who rely on money to impress women because they must have really low self-esteem in terms their ability to attract a mate that they think they have to pay premium price for a chance at love. A huge assumption there. This guy doesn't have low self esteem, and he doesn't need to pay for love. He's done some impressive things for his age and has a bit more of a spontaneous side than I do. And he seems to be a fairly giving kind of person.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 This invitation is just over the top. There's no need for it whatsoever beyond an attempt to woo her with what he can do for her/buy for her/where he can take her. If a man can't woo me without his wallet, he's not the man for me. Lighten up a little people. Some of you are suggesting the guy's a loser for making such an offer, others suggesting I'm some sort of gold digger for liking a guy who wants to make me happy (which he was already doing before he made the offer and it only involved being a sweet gentleman that makes me laugh.) Should I be more like others who prefer a guy who's an ass, aloof, or abusive? To set the record straight, I'm the one that's well off. I have dated a couple of obscenely rich men and didn't sleep with them either just because they made extravagant gestures. To some fortunate people, these gestures aren't that extravagant and honestly to me I found it incredibly sweet but not over the top. Beverly Hills housewives is over the top. I don't need a man to do things for me. But when a guy I like does, I take it as a compliment that he's interested and try not to get too paranoid about it because I don't know him yet. Maybe he's a good guy, maybe he wants a quick lay. But I did let him know straight up he's not getting it any time soon and his response was he gives it 2 years and he's out. He rolls with things. Well, we'll see I guess.
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 I would have gone, as long as I had serious interest in him (i.e. not just going along for the trip) and if I had the money to cover a substantial amount of shared expenses while there (as well as enough money to get a separate hotel room should all go to hell ). I do have a serious interest in him. We'll see when he gets back if he still does. I wouldn't waste my time or his resources going if I wasn't into him.
Knittress Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 (edited) I'd do it, provided I liked his company and he gave me the return ticket in advance. (So I wouldn't fear it ending badly and then having to foot the bill to get my butt back home.) Worst case scenario - I wander around the city on my own for a few days and crash in a youth hostel. How is that a BAD thing? And what's wrong with anyone getting laid, here? Edited January 4, 2011 by Knittress
Author daphne Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 And what's wrong with anyone getting laid, here? Absolutely nothing! But I tend to get attached easily and I wait to see if I'm getting attached to the right kind of person first. Especially after my last ex.
musemaj11 Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 How old are you two? Are you guys like in your 40s or 50s? If yes then the whole thing is no big deal. Anyway does he know you are richer than him? If such is the case my guess is that he was just trying too hard to increase his value in your eyes.
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