his princess Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 here's some background... we have known each other since we were 4. all through school we were best friends, always there for each other. he dated a couple of my friends, but we didn't go past friends even though i was in love with him. a couple of years after graduation, we got together a few times and i got pregnant. i was trying to figure out how to tell him when i miscarried and never did tell him. in the last year, after years without communication, we reconnected and he had just gotten engaged. we chatted/skyped/emailed almost every day for months and from the beginning he made it sexual in nature and i played along, thinking this is just how our friendship was before. then i didn't hear from him for a few months until i got a text telling me he was coming back for a wedding (he lives on west coast, i live in our hometown in midwest) and that he had broken off engagement. we texted quite a bit for a month and then a week before he comes back, he texts that a woman he's been seeing for 2 months was going to come a couple of days after him. he still wanted to see me, but it was not going to be physical. i told him i understood, but was heartbroken and had something i had to tell him (about the baby). when we met at my house, we were sitting on the couch for about 1 minute before he started kissing me. i kept telling him that we couldn't do this, but i did cave. the next day was new years eve and a few of us got together. i was the designated driver and had to watch him with her all night. he kept bringing me into their conversations and hugging me. at the end of the night, i took them all home and haven't heard from him since. do i give up on anything ever happening between us? do i still tell him about the baby? i don't want to lose his friendship and will be in love with him forever.
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 You've known him all your life and throughout the years, you've re-connected a number of times. It is hard to let go of someone who seems to be an integral part of your life. Thing is though, he's never explicity chosen you as a life partner. You've always been his back up for sex, even while he's in a relationship with another woman. Are you really happy to pine for him, waiting in the background, for the rest of your life? I have no doubt that you could do this, given that you've pined for so long already. But I think that you deserve more than to be someone's backup. Though it may put your mind at rest somewhat, I am not sure that telling him about the miscarriage will change anything since it happened a long time ago. If you have the strength to do it, I suggest a clean break. He isn't choosing you and you need to move on with your life rather than hold yourself back waiting for him because, from what you've written, he's not waiting for you.
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