Ariadne Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 the one bachelor who hasn't looked at the gals as prey. No leering. It's as though... he actually wants to get to know them! Who would have thought?! Nooooo.... he doesn't want to know one darn thing. It'd be like pulling teeth for this guy to even listen to them for one second.
OceanGirl Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Man, he is soooo dreamy... He's so gentlemanly. He's probably the one bachelor who hasn't looked at the gals as prey. No leering. It's as though... he actually wants to get to know them! Who would have thought?! But he speaks really slowly and doesn't seem that bright
Ariadne Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Btw, I loved that he got rid of all the crying drama girls. I do think he may be interested in listening to the story of the girl that works for children though. I think he respects that and classy girls, like the girl he took to the Hollywood Bowl.
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 But he speaks really slowly and doesn't seem that bright He speaks slowly because he's from the south. He's pretty damn emotionally intelligent to me. That speaks a lot more to me than being able to do fancy math problems.
U1987 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Man, he is soooo dreamy... He's so gentlemanly. He's probably the one bachelor who hasn't looked at the gals as prey. No leering. It's as though... he actually wants to get to know them! I think the only thing he wants to get to know about them is what their real cup size is once the push-up falls off, and if they really hold their place.
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I think the only thing he wants to get to know about them is what their real cup size is once the push-up falls off, and if they really hold their place. Clearly you don't watch the show, because the first date of the night, the first girl he made out with and seems to really, really like, had pretty itty bitty t*tties.
northern_sky Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 He speaks slowly because he's from the south. He's pretty damn emotionally intelligent to me. That speaks a lot more to me than being able to do fancy math problems. But he can't commit. Wouldn't that suggest his emotional intelligence is somewhat low?
northern_sky Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Haven't seen the show, but just saw an interview with him, Deanna and the other girl he rejected. I was surprised that he seemed sincere: genuinely tormented and ashamed. Usually the people on these shows put on a front, but you can tell they don't give a crap. It was apparent what these girls were saying about him really stung. He reminded me a bit of the guy I dated this fall in that respect, very sincere, sensitive to criticism and takes it seriously yet can't seem to stop his own patterns. On the interview I got the sense he was sincere in that he genuinely believed he was a changed man, but he was sort of trying to convince himself of it and deep down it probably wasn't true. You could tell he had serious doubts and sort of swallowed his words. I also think it's interesting he liked the girl best who admitted to having major trust issues of her own (though he dumped her too). He just seems to have serious emotional issues, who knows why. I doubt he'll find love on this season. An artificial environment like this one is probably the last place a commitment-phobe is going to get over his issues.
Lucky555 Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I wish they would find people who are "real". Its all about ratings for good tv. I saw it the first time and was a bit putt off. obviously i dont want the show anymore. lol However i did see the first episode thats when i said what a waste of time. Brad may be hot but i think he already had his opportunity and blew, i think he might choose a lady at the end but i dont think it will last.
northern_sky Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) But he speaks really slowly and doesn't seem that bright He's not my type, but I wouldn't say he's dumb. Probably average intelligence. There's a certain naive/vulnerable quality to him that is kind of cute. I get the sense he's a decent person and fairly sincere, which is unusual for a reality tv star. But I wouldn't want to get involved with a guy with his issues. Not to say that hasn't stopped me from making mistakes like that in the past. I think he is being unrealistic in declaring himself a changed man after a couple of years of therapy. In general, people don't change that fast, and it seems like a terrible idea for a commitment phobe to force himself into the hot seat on national television. What he said about "proving himself" to others was telling. He shouldn't need to prove himself to others. He should look for a wife elsewhere, in real life, where it's not about what other people think. The fact that he's doing it partly as a test of his character and self improvement is a bad sign, and the bad attitude to go in with. Also, given his trust issues, he'd do best with a woman who doesn't have a facade, and reality television is the last place to find that. Actually, there was nothing wrong with what he originally did. He was honest with himself and the women, unlike the other guys who dumped their gfs a few months later. He seemed thoughtful, and he didn't want to lead them on. Edited January 11, 2011 by northern_sky
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 But he can't commit. Wouldn't that suggest his emotional intelligence is somewhat low? Having never watched either season and only seen one awkward interview with him and the two women he didn't pick at the end of the last season, I find it hysterical that you can reach this conclusion, as well as your analysis immediately below the post I'm quoting. Are you saying people can't change? I hope for YOUR benefit you believe they can, because you've acknowledged needing to change yourself. This guy has been in three years of therapy and has explained where his fears come from (abandonment by his father as a child), and even has had his therapist be interviewed to explain how much growth he's undergone. To make judgments like those you did based on so little information is really inappropriate and unfair, and only assumes the worst in people.
Art_Critic Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 but I wouldn't say he's dumb. Probably average intelligence. I'd agree with you.. he owns several bars thruout Texas with his family/twin brother and you don't own successful business's being dumb as a box of hammers. I think the guy is just a huge CP and his walls will never be climbed.. some girl must have done a real number on his heart at one time or another...
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 I think he is being unrealistic in declaring himself a changed man after a couple of years of therapy. It's unfortunate you think that. What does that mean for you, and other LSers, who have expressed an absolute need to change? That you're doomed to remain the same person for, what, 5+ years? How long do you think it takes a person to change their engrained behaviors and fears? Or are you saying you can change in a very short period of time, but he, someone you don't know, couldn't possibly have faced his fears and changed in 3 years?
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 some girl must have done a real number on his heart at one time or another... It wasn't a girl. It was an alcoholic, drug using father who came in and out of his life at his whim. This is such typical LS armchair psychology. Making conclusions and reaching judgments without knowing all the facts.
northern_sky Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Having never watched either season and only seen one awkward interview with him and the two women he didn't pick at the end of the last season, I find it hysterical that you can reach this conclusion, as well as your analysis immediately below the post I'm quoting. Are you saying people can't change? I hope for YOUR benefit you believe they can, because you've acknowledged needing to change yourself. This guy has been in three years of therapy and has explained where his fears come from (abandonment by his father as a child), and even has had his therapist be interviewed to explain how much growth he's undergone. To make judgments like those you did based on so little information is really inappropriate and unfair, and only assumes the worst in people. I just watched the first episode, so that gave me a bit more insight. Obviously, I don't know him, but there are some immediate red flags. People can change, but it's extremely rare for people to get over a huge, huge issue like that in a couple of years, even with the aid of therapy. People change in increments. I guess what concerns me is that he's choosing to prove that he's changed and look for a wife on national television again. First off, there's no reason to believe that the best woman for him will be one of just 25 chosen by money-hungry producers who partly pick cast members based on their potential to delivery drama. What if he realizes deep down he doesn't feel a connection with any of them, but then feels forced to pick one in order to prove himself? There's a high potential for that. Also, I just think the environment is way too much pressure for somebody prone to cold feet.
Art_Critic Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 This is such typical LS armchair psychology. Making conclusions and reaching judgments without knowing all the facts. And you know it wasn't a girl ??? My Dad was an Alcoholic who came in and out of my life at a whim and I'm not a CP
northern_sky Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 It's unfortunate you think that. What does that mean for you, and other LSers, who have expressed an absolute need to change? That you're doomed to remain the same person for, what, 5+ years? How long do you think it takes a person to change their engrained behaviors and fears? Or are you saying you can change in a very short period of time, but he, someone you don't know, couldn't possibly have faced his fears and changed in 3 years? No, of course people can change, but I think it takes more time than a couple of years to get over a lifelong issue like that.
northern_sky Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 It wasn't a girl. It was an alcoholic, drug using father who came in and out of his life at his whim. This is such typical LS armchair psychology. Making conclusions and reaching judgments without knowing all the facts. I'm not making conclusions. I'm merely speculating because it's fun. I could be totally wrong. These are just my impressions.
Art_Critic Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 SG.. you bought into all the reality tv garbage that is posted about the man publicly.. They want you to know what they want you as viewers to know.. Sheeple
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 Keep watching. Watch last night's (newest) episode. His final four have been leaked; I could have called them because of how genuine and open they are. He's making wise choices for himself, for the most part. He got rid of the two most drama-filled girls last night. All but one psycho hairdresser girl seem to all be there, truly, for the right reasons. I heard that the woman he picks is a CP herself, and almost leaves him at the end. Emily. This guy isn't a man with major major issues or a messed up life who'd need baby steps of improvement like someone whose life is a complete disaster. It's pretty simple and common, really. He's got his sh*t together, he's successful, he's confident and secure in who he is and what he brings to the table. He's simply had some pretty scary fears of being left by the one person who's supposed to live him the most, so he's avoided letting anyone get close enough to hurt him. It's easier than you'd think to break down those kinds of walls. 3 years is plenty of time, particularly if he finds a woman he knows deep down would never up and abandon him. BTDT.
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 And you know it wasn't a girl ??? My Dad was an Alcoholic who came in and out of my life at a whim and I'm not a CP Well, good for you, Art. I hope you know that people handle abandonment differently, just as people handle alcoholism differently (you know all about that). I was raised by a single depressed mother at almost poverty levels, and I didn't end up a drug addict or single mother or divorced ar 22 either like most products of single poor parents do statistically. So what? He's discussed how how much his father hurt him, as has his therapist. He's always struggled with relationships because of the hurt he experienced. And I'm not a sheep. I resent that statement.
northern_sky Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) The main reason I'm skeptical is his choice to return to the show in order to find love. He says "I'm ready to fall in love," but why is he choosing to look for it again in this artificial, televised environment? Is it because he wants to prove himself to others? If we give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's trying to prove it to himself, then you wonder if he views it as a challenge where he's returning to the same place, this time trying to right the love test he lost last time. Why not look for a wife/gf in real life where it's not about a personal challenge and relieves some of the pressure on himself? I *do* believe he sincerely wants to settle down, but his approach concerns me. Only time will tell... Edited January 11, 2011 by northern_sky
Star Gazer Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 NS: Real life might be difficult for him because he's literally a celebrity in his home town; finding a gal who likes him for him might be more difficult because of that. The gals on the show were hand picked for him (yes, they were), and didn't even know he was the bachelor until they got there. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to prove to oneself that you've changed. How someone proves to themselves that they've changed depends on their issue. An alcoholic might go to a bar or event where there's a lot of alcohol with a friend to see if that temptation is too strong. A binge eater might go to a buffet and limit themselves to one small plate. An acrophobic might get on a really high ski lift. A commitment phobic might try opening up and letting a woman in to his heart... What he has to prove to himself is just one thing: that he's capable of falling in love. He's gotta do that somehow, can't do it in a vacuum. There's gotta be a woman involved.
Ariadne Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 The main reason I'm skeptical is his choice to return to the show in order to find love. It's because TV shows seem to love these type of characters. Like "Jake" who turned out to be a jewel, and "Wes" who became some sort of celebrity.
Jynxx Posted January 11, 2011 Posted January 11, 2011 This thread got me watching it. Just through episode 1, some quick thoughts before starting 2: -The guy is a huge douchebag and if it weren't for his looks or the TVshow none of the women would give him any attention. -I would bet some serious money at least 10 of the girls have an IQ of under 90 -Fanggirl looks awesome. She would be my number 1 pick. Keltie (the overenthousiastic one) would be my second. I wish they would find people who are "real". Its all about ratings for good tv. Realityshows attract wannabe-actors. No way around in. Even if you could filter all these out, the producers wouldn't do it because as you said people looking for attention may be fake but make for good TV.
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