Stilicho Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 so, ive been posting here for a few days about my situation, and just today, my ex, whom i entered into NC with through an email on nye, called. we spoke for about half an hour, talked about a lot, from what weve been upto, work, school, family, etc. in a sharp contrast, she was extremely nice for most of the convo, and said she wanted to meet up on her day off. i said ok, as i have some stuff of hers id like to give back, and she mine. But, throughout the conversation, she would reference alot of our old inside jokes, and was a little flirty,and although she admitted she was seeing somebody now, she said "we(as in i and the guy) have a lot in common(thats b.s)" and than a little later, she said that she does not like any guys right now in that way, and wants to see me and catch up. she also said shes not gonnaa remove herself from the classes she entered into bc i was in them.... how should i approach this? what are her motives? do you think shes serious with this guy?
SDA Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I would go into the meeting with your ex as a goodbye meeting. Keep it short and don't bring up the relationship or your feelings unless she does. To me it seems she wants to be "friends". She probably does miss you and misses talking to you and is probably confused.
SeriousBob12 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Not talking to her for 4 or 5 days isn't NC! I wouldn't walk into it with your hopes up. If she's seeing someone else, it sounds like she's just trying to be pleasant/mature. Are you sure you want to see her? BEFORE YOU SAY "SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T LIKE ANY GUYS: Realize that she isn't exactly coming out and saying she wants you back either, with given your past wouldn't be hard to say. If you do feel confident in seeing her (personally I think it's an AWFUL idea), give her back her stuff, be pleasant, accept that you're now "friends" and afterwards keep your distance from that point on. Post breakup contact is a bad idea, especially when you're "NC clock" ran for all of a few days...had there been A LOT more time I'd be more supportive, but I have a lot of reasons to believe that you're still hung up on her and want her back. Those 2 factors alone are the reasons why you shouldn't be seeing her at all...
Author Stilicho Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 well, i wasnt the one who broke NC, and nothing about her, especially lately is mature. Shes the one who says she doesnt know what she wants, to which i replied im nobodies 2nd option. id be lying if i said i had no feelings for her, but i have been going out pretty much everyday since, and ive seen firsthand that there are many other girls out there that are interested, and i dont have a case of "onitis" either. Its strange, because the email i sent her was basically a goodbye email, which seems to be bothering her from what i can tell. the meeting is gonna be at a neutral place, and not last long, ill make sure of that. If she has something to say, she can, and ill listen, but im not going in with other intentions. This is her loss, not mine. im basically just trying to see whats going on in her head....
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