Emotional rollercoaster. Is he seeing someone behind my back?

[Yeahsussu]

I´ve been in a relationship with my BF for almost 2,5 years now. Most of that time has been long distance relationship, but now I´ve lived with him for a year and everything has been lovely up till last month. We´re from separate countries and I have to go home in 3 weeks as my visa expires.

 

He´s been acting very weird and distant for about a month now, he can snap at me for a single little thing, he doesn´t wanna cuddle or be close to me. He´s been on sickleave since beginning of December, and I´m not working so we´ve been home together every day and I guess it was a bit too much, we kinda stepped on each others toes, as the place we live in is not very big.

 

I´ve known something is up, and I never thought I would do this but I looked at the messages on his phone and he had some texts from a girl that asked why he hadn´t broken up with me yet, that he should have told me that it´s not working so i could´ve gone home. She also wrote that he said it was only gonna be for three months (our relationship i guess), but now it´s been a year. He had also written one txt where it said that he miss her, he calls her babe, but also wrote "i thought we were over all this".

 

I don´t know how serious it is, but it turned my stomach upsidedown when I read it. I love him with all my heart, I would do anything for him, I gave up my life at home and came to his country to be with him, and this is what I get? I thought and felt as he was the one!

 

How do I confront him about this, without accusing him too much, cause I don´t know all the details. He won´t be happy about me looking at his messages, but what should I do?

[Yeahsussu]

Thanks for your reply. I also believe telling him about looking in his phone will make things worse. Yes I am leaving the country, I don´t know when I will be back, and we don´t know when we´re gonna see each other next. He doesn´t really wanna talk about it, and when he does he just says he doesn´t know what he wanna do.

 

Im pretty sure this girl lives in the other side of the country, so it´s not like he sneaks out and sees her. They just have some weird textmessage-relationship going on..?

 

I asked him yesterday what was wrong, cause he was beeing very distant, and all of a sudden he was very cuddly and told me nothing was wrong. I told him that he can talk to me if something is bothering him, but I just left it at that.

Just feels like he´s already decided to break up with me but just waiting to deliver the bad news...?

[Am So 5crewed]

Judging from your other posts I would of suggested that he was scared of commitment. But after reading this one I would say that not only is he scared of commitment but, I am sorry to say, I think he may of replaced you, or is in the process of replacing you. Sorry.

 

Love sucks eh? Especially when it is not returned. But you are still young and can learn from this type of thing.

 

Gosh, I feel bad for you......

[Yeahsussu]

I don´t wanna believe it, I guess I don´t wanna face the truth at the moment. I never thought he would be this disrespectful to me. Im 25 and he turns 25 this year, so I´m still young I guess but I´m ready to start settle down and find the right man. I´ve told him I don´t do "temporary" relationships, when I do relationships I do it for real.

Im pretty sure he met this girl last new year on a festival, but I don´t think they´ve seen each other since, as I´m quite sure she lives on the other side of the country. And since me and my BF live together I would have noticed if he was gone!

 

It´s frustating, I don´t wanna loose him, we´ve had something so special togehter, at least I thought so. And at the same time I´m so angry and dissapointed at him.

 

We´re going on a little weekend trip this week and I don´t wanna talk to him about this before then, cause that would ruin our trip. After that I only have 1,5 weeks left in his country..