Women that can't cook

[Mad Max]

Any guys find this to be a turn off? I definitely do. Growing up, my mom didn't cook and I vowed that I would never marry a woman that didn't know how to cook. Women expect men to be able to do certain things, so I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect your wife to know how to cook. I'm not talking about cooking like a chef. Just knowing the basics and able to be self-sufficient. Fortunately, I am able to cook and I believe it's a skill that is required if you want to be independent, male or female.

[Yer_Blues]

If only life were simple enough to separate all individuals by gender.

Edited January 3, 2011 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[sumdude]

Not a deal breaker. However.. if she is a good cook and enjoys cooking that would be a big plus. I can cook pretty well but rarely do, don't have the time or patience. So her having that skill and preference would be complimentary.

[Yer_Blues]

Women expect men to be able to do certain things

Yeah, be born with a penis and be an individual. How the hell can you classify what "women" expect, as if this abstract idea of women as a whole exists or has any weight in the real world.

[Mad Max]

Not a deal breaker. However.. if she is a good cook and enjoys cooking that would be a big plus. I can cook pretty well but rarely do, don't have the time or patience. So her having that skill and preference would be complimentary.

 

 

Definitely a plus if she enjoys it. As long as she knows how, that's fine. You don't have to be as good as Wolfgang Puck.

[donnamaybe]

If only life were simple enough to separate all individuals by gender. Yawn

I do believe you missed this part...

Fortunately, I am able to cook and I believe it's a skill that is required if you want to be independent, male or female.

[Mad Max]

If only life were simple enough to separate all individuals by gender. Yawn

 

 

If women can claim they are turned off by a man that can't change a tire, then I should be able to claim I'd be turned off by a woman that can't cook.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258927/

[Yer_Blues]

And you couldn't tell me that there is no way you can survive in this world if you can't cook. The idea is preposterous. Is it a valuable skill? Yes. Is it something that pretty much everybody does on some level? As far as I know.

 

I've never met a male or female who "can't" cook. If such a person is left alone in a house with ingredients, do they die?

 

Choosing not to cook, male or female, is a choice. Why is gender important to it at all, unless you are trying to parody another thread on the front page of this board?

 

If Jack the Ripper can kill people, and he is a male, should all females have an open pass to be serial killers? **** man. That thread has multiple examples of women who don't cling to ridiculous, arbitrary gender roles. Trying to justify behavior or create expectations based on gender is an old, dying idea anyhow. Anything that isn't focused on equality and isn't mandated by biology should be contemplated on a case by case, individual basis

Edited January 3, 2011 by Yer_Blues

[Kamille]

Women expect men to be able to do certain things, so I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect your wife to know how to cook.

 

The only thing I really expect boyfriend to do is know how to give good head.

 

I can change my own tires.

[sally4sara]

Any guys find this to be a turn off? I definitely do. Growing up, my mom didn't cook and I vowed that I would never marry a woman that didn't know how to cook. Women expect men to be able to do certain things, so I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect your wife to know how to cook. I'm not talking about cooking like a chef. Just knowing the basics and able to be self-sufficient. Fortunately, I am able to cook and I believe it's a skill that is required if you want to be independent, male or female.

 

Yeah, I met guys who wouldn't cook and had never bothered to learn beyond microwaving or ramen. Being with them would be being with someone lesser than what I offer. I like to cook, but not simply to enable someone else to remain useless on the subject.

Just as a guy who can't cover his own living expenses, take care of a child, articulate their wants and needs in a rational manner, or maintain a home would be inferior to me.

I don't recommend partnering with someone inferior. It breeds resentment. Just as it would become a resentful situation to discover you were chosen just to do what your partner won't because it is "not their job" or too "menial" to be worth doing for themselves. Such as cooking is to some people - something they need someone to do for them. It takes all the enjoyment and pride one can have from cooking for someone else.

[zengirl]

Now, you have me considering hiding the fact that I can cook if I ever have to be single again.

 

I love cooking, but I can never imagine myself as being the type of person who cooks "for" someone on a regular basis, and that attitude (the expectation of it) creeps me out a bit. Appreciating a talent is very different from expecting a service.

 

My boyfriend and I can both cook, and well, and sometimes like to, but we generally only choose to do so together. (It's fun together; it's a chore otherwise, generally, in a world where time is lacking.) I would choose to do so once and awhile when I was single. I'd never cook meals for someone over the age of 10 on a regular basis (like feel the "need" to get dinner on the table). That seems so weird to me.

 

Though I'd gladly make double what I was making or whatnot. That's what my Mom always did. She cooked, but she cooked what she liked. And so did my Stepdad. And so did I, after the age of 10 or so. If any one of us was making something the others would like and want to share, we made more and shared.

 

If women can claim they are turned off by a man that can't change a tire, then I should be able to claim I'd be turned off by a woman that can't cook.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258927/

 

Oh, get off it. Most women in that thread said it was either neutral (meaning, maybe it was positive if a guy COULD do things, but it wasn't some kind of crazy dealbreaker---that's just appreciating talents) or that they didn't give two figs.

 

I'm sure loads of people like having a partner who's a great cook, regardless of gender. Even if you don't care that they 'can't,' generally, people like the talents of their SO.

 

And you couldn't tell me that there is no way you can survive in this world if you can't cook. The idea is preposterous. Is it a valuable skill? Yes. Is it something that pretty much everybody does on some level? As far as I know.

 

I've never met a male or female who "can't" cook. If such a person is left alone in a house with ingredients, do they die?

 

Choosing not to cook, male or female, is a choice. Why is gender important to it at all, unless you are trying to parody another thread on the front page of this board?

 

Yeah, I don't really get the "can't" part. I mean, yes, if I met a human being who was actually flummoxed by boiling water or using a knife or something. . . I'd be turned off. Because they'd have to be pretty dumb to really feel they "can't" make a pot of pasta.

 

"Wait, what was the recipe for ice cubes!"

[Taramere]

I can never fathom this whole "knows how to cook" thing. If I want to cook and it's something that requires a bit more effort than "peel/clean and throw into a pan of salted boiling water", or "put in the frying pan/under the grill" then I just follow a recipe and it usually comes out in edible form. I'm no great cook, but neither am I worse than other people I've encountered who seem to think they're something special in the kitchen.

 

I think some people just make a song and dance about how good they are at cooking and other household stuff because there's bugger all else they can do. It's not exactly difficult to put together an edible meal from basic ingredients. Most people learn to do it as students - or else they'll have to survive on a diet of cereal and baked beans on toast.

 

The "good at cooking" scam is similar to this whole thing about being a handyman. Things like changing a fuse or doing a bit of home decorating aren't things that you need a penis and months of learning the art of manliness to be able to do. Put a penniless student of either gender into an old wreck of a flat that has peeling wall-paper and plaster falling off the walls and they'll soon plaster walls and put up wallpaper, even if the results aren't exactly worthy of a Homes & Gardens spread.

[donnamaybe]

If women can claim they are turned off by a man that can't change a tire, then I should be able to claim I'd be turned off by a woman that can't cook.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t258927/

Ah, yes. And particularly this post as an example.

 

Max DID clarify that his expectations were just that a person could cook for themselves - not that they be a cordon bleu chef. So, yes, it's the same thing.

 

ANYONE, man or woman, should be able to change a flat tire, jump start a car, "twirl a screwdriver," OR cook a basic meal. Since I'm assuming he dates women and not men, he chose to discuss women who can't cook.

[Content]

lol as people predicted in the thread of women demanding what Men should be able to do that theyd raise all hell if anyhting was expected of them because of gender

 

Women love gender roles and traditions when it benefits them

[zengirl]

ANYONE, man or woman, should be able to change a flat tire, jump start a car, "twirl a screwdriver," OR cook a basic meal.

 

Well, agreed, but the whole bit about his Mom throws me off. I mean, does he really mean his mother never made him some pasta? And furthermore, couldn't? Or did she just choose not to cook for the family every day, which is more what it sounded like.

 

I agree that helplessness in basic tasks is beyond lame, in either gender.

[Yer_Blues]

lol as people predicted in the thread of women demanding what Men should be able to do that theyd raise all hell if anyhting was expected of them because of gender

 

Women love gender roles and traditions when it benefits them

You do realize that if you took out gender and substituted race you would be reamed out on here right? You can't take a few individuals, make a "they" based on one attribute, and then generalize it to all individuals with that attribute.

[donnamaybe]

lol as people predicted in the thread of women demanding what Men should be able to do that theyd raise all hell if anyhting was expected of them because of gender

 

Women love gender roles and traditions when it benefits them

Are you PURPOSELY being obtuse, or do you seriously not realize I am a woman?

[Mad Max]

Oh, get off it. Most women in that thread said it was either neutral (meaning, maybe it was positive if a guy COULD do things, but it wasn't some kind of crazy dealbreaker---that's just appreciating talents) or that they didn't give two figs.

 

 

Gah! This is SO annoying. I grew up surrounded by "manly" men. I now live in a large city and recently had a dead battery in my car. I was in a major park and ride. I was ASTOUNDED by how many men didn't have jumper cables......Let alone the number of men that just walked by me and hustled into their cars!

 

I ended up getting help from a teenage boy who's parents obviously raised him right!

 

 

For me its a BIG turn off.

 

They expect us to cook and clean and do everything else, but he can't even change a tire? So now we gotta do that too? I don't think so.

 

 

IMO, a real man knows how to change a tire and how to use tools, and knows his way around the grill.

 

 

It would definitely be a turn-off if the bf couldn't do any of those

 

I personally would find it weird to go out with someone whose mind didn't work that way, or couldn't do that stuff. So, I kind of adore when men do do all that (particularly when they teach me new things too lol), because it makes me feel girly for once

 

 

So, yes, I'm likely to view him negatively if he doesn't at least search for an online "how to" guide and work through the instructions.

 

 

I do think a lot of women secretly love a man to be practical, even if they won't admit it

 

 

^^^ I rest my case.

[Mad Max]

Well, agreed, but the whole bit about his Mom throws me off. I mean, does he really mean his mother never made him some pasta? And furthermore, couldn't? Or did she just choose not to cook for the family every day, which is more what it sounded like.

 

I agree that helplessness in basic tasks is beyond lame, in either gender.

 

 

Before my parents split, my dad did the cooking. After that, I taught myself.

[Yer_Blues]

I still don't see why finding individual examples of people who believe something proves ANYTHING! I could go to a world is flat forum or a KKK forum and find equally misguided babble. The fact that some people are not able to transcend the traditional gender roles does not mean that these activities have anything to do with gender.

[dispatch3d]

well she either be good at sex or have a prosperous and vibrant career ahead of her. Kind of her own fault for so readily crossing off one of my three primary needs that she could have fulfilled. Shame shame.

[donnamaybe]

I still don't see why finding individual examples of people who believe something proves ANYTHING! I could go to a world is flat forum or a KKK forum and find equally misguided babble. The fact that some people are not able to transcend the traditional gender roles does not mean that these activities have anything to do with gender.

And, again, Max said ANYONE should have a basic knowledge of cooking. He merely brought up women because that's the gender he happens to enjoy dating.

 

Should he also date men to avoid the gender bias arguments?

[Mad Max]

And, again, Max said ANYONE should have a basic knowledge of cooking. He merely brought up women because that's the gender he happens to enjoy dating.

 

Should he also date men to avoid the gender bias arguments?

 

 

It's starting to look more appealing.

[donnamaybe]

It's starting to look more appealing.

I'm feelin' ya Max! Fortunately, my guy doesn't have any gender hangups. In fact, one of his favorite stories is how he was rearranging living room furniture and vacuuming while I was outside taking the alternator belt off the car.

 

Oh, and he cooks too!

[Mad Max]

He merely brought up women because he's been on a crusade with Woggle and musemaj to make anything and everything a pissing contest between the genders

 

 

I've called out the both of them on several occasions. If you don't like it, then stop posting in this thread.