monkeydo Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Hi guys. Hoping you can help with an awkward situation I find myself in. Guy I'm really drawn to who works in the same small shopping complex as me. He broke up with his girlfriend before we met, but was still living at her house. We didn't start a flirtation until he moved into his own place, we just got to know each other as friends. While he was still living with his ex, she found a couple of innocent texts between us and freaked. We chilled so as not to disrespect her. When he moved into his own place, we confessed our crushes on each other and have begun seeing each other in a romantic capacity. The problem is, he's obviously still seeing her because she texted me at 4:15 this morning! She forwarded two texts from his phone and then one from hers accusing me of stealing her boyfriend and she said she hoped I got what was coming to me or something. I texted her back that her anger was misplaced and not to contact me again or I would consider it harassment. I feel really torn here. On one hand I'm angry at him, not because he's seeing someone else (we haven't had any talks about exclusivity), but because it's his ex, and I've worked so hard to NOT disrespect her in this. On the other hand, he's also worked really hard to not disrespect her. We didn't do anything wrong, in my eyes, unless he's fully lying to me. But why would he leave texts on his phone instead of deleting them, knowing the ex has a snooping problem, if he thought he was doing anything wrong? I really like this guy, but I don't want to be a piece in a relationship chess game. Any thoughts?
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I'm sorry, but this has "do not touch" written all over it. As you wrote, not only is he seeing someone else, that someone else is his ex. And they used to live together. They still seem attached, judging from her reaction to the two of you. Unless there's a clean break implemented by him, your relationship with him is going remain on rocky ground. If you need to, you might well have to step back until he is clear where he stands. I suggest not getting involved in starting a dialogue with her. It is not your job to cut their ties, it's his. If you're sleeping with him, I hope you're being safe.
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