LuLu65 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I would like to hear from both men and woman on this. Why's and how's. I just had this happen and I don't see how it's possible to invest time into any type of relationship and just turn it off without a moments thought or any word? More of my story here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t259288/ It just doesn't make any sense to me and I'd like to hear what everyone thinks, all sides? Anyone please? I can't harden my heart to cause any hurt to someone I care about, friend or lover.........damn not even a stranger.
Akumark Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I can assure you that there's a lot of womens who can do the same thing, some people have a way to cut themselve from their feeling.
Author LuLu65 Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Aye, I guess you are right, I've just mostly seen it in men. I do wonder how anyone does it though. To shut someone out of you life for doing nothing really can't be that easy...... We talked for over 2 years, and he didn't need to say the things he did to me about missing me when I wasn't on line, even to the point that he took the time to text me at times that wouldn't have been convenient for him just to make me smile......it's just all a big mystery to me and has hurt me deeply.
shayan Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 no one just shuts off there emotions. Often it is either one of two cases. A the person suppresses their feelings and distracts themselves never truly mourning their loss. B the person slowly dettaches themselves from you without telling you about it. By the time they have gone, they've already spent a considerable amount of time mourning your loss and cutting themselves off. it could also be that they were never as attached to you as they seemed in the first place.
Author LuLu65 Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 no one just shuts off there emotions. Often it is either one of two cases. A the person suppresses their feelings and distracts themselves never truly mourning their loss. B the person slowly dettaches themselves from you without telling you about it. By the time they have gone, they've already spent a considerable amount of time mourning your loss and cutting themselves off. it could also be that they were never as attached to you as they seemed in the first place. From what I had learned of him, your first suggestion sounds like him. I know this from other things we had talked about over time. I just never expected to be on the receiving end. I do think we had a genuine friendship, there's plenty examples of this, but I know I have to be realistic and accept that I could be wrong. I just don't think so......that's probably me still holding on. Thanks for your reply, it gives me a different way to look at things.
shayan Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 by the time you're done mourning him you won't even care if he cared anymore.
D-Lish Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 I agree with Shy, most of the time, people have already disengaged by the time they get around to telling you. It might appear that they suddenly stopped caring, but in reality, they have been mulling it over for a long time.
Author LuLu65 Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 I can't help but hope that's not the case, somehow thinking that he just got scared at the thought of meeting me could lead to something more serious or was hiding something he didn't want me to find out gives me comfort somehow, but any reason he had is/was cruel, to me at least. I knew that if we ever stopped talking I would be hurt.......what i didn't realize was this much. I'm realizing I had allowed myself to fall for this guy all the while telling myself we were just good friends..... I've lost friends before, it's never hurt this bad....this is like losing a bf and that makes me feel even more stupid. But that's not all my fault, I wasn't shy about telling him how much he meant to me and that I'd never wanna lose him as a friend, how special he was to me and though maybe not as often he said the same to me....... One of the social sites we talked on he told me several times that if it wasn't for me, he'd not even be on them anymore....that he was staying on line only to talk to me...... Again my head tells me it could all be a lie......my heart tells a different story.... I guess I'm basically hoping that this ISN'T easy on him right now and that even though this is all his doing, that he's suffering as much as I.
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