catgotyourtongue Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Hmmmm, missing the point. OP was asking WHY, & he got answers why. This is not to say every woman is the same or reacts the same. I strive to better myself in all areas. If I have a bad hair day I am not going to jump off the Eiffel tower, and if I gain a pound, I am not going to cut off all my hair to loose a pound, lol. Silly right. I don't have a weight issue, never have, so I consider myself lucky and moreso, I have lived a lifestyle my entire life, to stay thin and fit cause thats what I enjoy. This I think is turning into a different thread a bit as often it does. YES women obsess too much about weight, and those that are overweight have a choice to make...no debate. Not all women obsess equally abt looks, weight but that's not the point. THE POINT was in a poster asking WHATS the big deal and why do we act like this. People responded. I take care of myself, others can choose that they want. Do I have empathy for most people, you betcha...so if a woman struggles with her weight, I feel empathy as a woman. I am all abt self responsibility, personally, so i am not condoning people being obese and then complaining about it..that's not the point. Its funny women say confidence is the #1 thing they look for in a Man and a man insecure or whning about his looks or anything in life is a turn off yet tons of women have little confidence and are obsessed with things like this If not being super skinny ruuns your life that much try to lose the weight or *gasp* love the way you are Im not gonna hang myself from a building because i dont have a 6 pack
sally4sara Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 I was with a group of friends hanging out at a lounge and a friend made a comment to one of the guys wife that she misnterpreted as saying she was fat and she flipped out started crying and the whole night was angry Shes not skinny but i wouldnt say shes fat at all either but she kept saying how she wants to desperately be really skinny and constantly works out and it hurts that shes not blah blah blah Why are women so obsessed with this? I can see single women trying to attract Men being a bit paranoid about weight even though i know Men who like all types of women but i can see where theyre coming from, but why on earth are women who are in sucessful loving relationships and marriages still consumed by this? It seems women are always worried about being universally attractive to Men or trying to live up to some media standard. We all have our insecurities but women and weight seme to be the most touchy subject which i can usnerstand to a point but if youre in a loving marriage with somebody whos attracted to you why do you need the whole world to be attracted to you or why worry about it? Recently there was a thread by a guy saying he was embarrassed to bring his new GF around his friends. So many guys seek to be elevated in the eyes of other men and feel the way their mate looks as a way to achieve this. Its silly all around but I think its this competition vibe that has some women, regardless of being off the market, that has them still sensitive about how attractive they are to men they won't be dating.
Author Content Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 Recently there was a thread by a guy saying he was embarrassed to bring his new GF around his friends. So many guys seek to be elevated in the eyes of other men and feel the way their mate looks as a way to achieve this. Its silly all around but I think its this competition vibe that has some women, regardless of being off the market, that has them still sensitive about how attractive they are to men they won't be dating. If you let insensitive idiots get to you and how you feel about yourself then you should revalaute things
Knittress Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Oh come on. I don't want to be mean but this discussion is silly. In the US 64.1% of all women older than 20 are OVERWEIGHT. Indeed, 35.5% are OBESE! In much of the world (and it used to be in the US) the percent of overweight individuals is less that 30%. What does this tell us? Despite pressure from society, women in the US DO NOT take care of themselves. Yes, some develop psychological pathologies and become bulimic/anorexic but most happily eat, eat, and don't exercise. Women in the US are not obsessed with being skinny, they are obsessed with talking about being skinny. I have no sympathy for that. It's not hard to have a healthy weight (body mass index greater than 18 but less than 25). Two or three generations ago most people had a healthy weight. IV There are many good points here, however if it was EASY to be at a healthy weight then I'm pretty sure every woman would be thin. It IS actually, pretty darn easy for a YOUNG MALE to be at a healthy weight - and that's what annoys me about the finger pointing in these women-weight threads. It's a lack of cultural value about watching what you eat, and the message that it OUGHT to be easy that leads a lot of folks to get heavier one extra piece of toast at a time. And then at that point it seems like some inevitable and mysterious fattening force, because hey - shouldn't it be easy with regular exercise and healthy eating? The answer is NO, that isn't enough. I've gotten down to a healthy weight through a lot of obsessive caloring counting and deprivation, and I'm going to have to do this the rest of my life if I want to stay looking good. It's worth it to me, but it is NOT easy.
ivalm Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 There are many good points here, however if it was EASY to be at a healthy weight then I'm pretty sure every woman would be thin. It IS actually, pretty darn easy for a YOUNG MALE to be at a healthy weight - and that's what annoys me about the finger pointing in these women-weight threads. It's a lack of cultural value about watching what you eat, and the message that it OUGHT to be easy that leads a lot of folks to get heavier one extra piece of toast at a time. And then at that point it seems like some inevitable and mysterious fattening force, because hey - shouldn't it be easy with regular exercise and healthy eating? The answer is NO, that isn't enough. I've gotten down to a healthy weight through a lot of obsessive caloring counting and deprivation, and I'm going to have to do this the rest of my life if I want to stay looking good. It's worth it to me, but it is NOT easy. You could calorie count and obsess about it. Or, you could simply get used to idea that being a little hungry is good and NOT eat until satiated. Some people have real medical reasons for why they can't maintain healthy weight, most don't. While yes, I'm a young male and weight is not a problem, if you look at statistics, the US is full of overweight and obese young males. It's not just women who are fat, it's the guys too! We just plain old eat too much because food is cheap and oily/sugary meals permeate the mass culture...
stupidgurl Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 WOW! It would just take too much effort to even reply to all of this. TOO MUCH.
beauty0815 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 It Boost up self esteem ! when us women see men oogle and fantasize over women in magazines and on tv , we want that same attention !
dreamingoftigers Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Maybe the wife is worried about judgments like these ones: QUOTE: I dunno, I questioned the veracity of a 300 pounder blaming her "issues" on a sugar addiction and got an infraction. No one wants to just admit they stuffed everything within arms reach into their gob and it made them fat. Admit it and move on for f*ck sake. Also, drop that cupcake Probably me, I have been close to 300 lbs and have a sugar addiction. Full-fledged. The funny part about that is that you make it sound like it would give me a Magic Ticket to not be responsible for what I do with that information. In fact, knowing that I have a sugar (and refined carb) addiction has given me quite the opposite. It means that I am responsible for the rest of my life to my recovery and to full accountability. I can no longer claim ignorance of my state and why I am here. I know exactly whay triggers my brain and that I use sugar to produce a specific chemical reaction in my brain that I find temporarily blissful. Guess what? Those cravings to feel good got me to stuff everything in my gob and I got fat. So what? What does admitting that particular point get me? Shall I run and hide behind a gigantic donut in shame? I'm not going to. What I am left with is the day-to-day struggle to not only drop the cupcake but try to avoid picking it up. It is difficult. Just because something is simple, does not make it easy. Especially when you live with people the enable and encourage your addiction. Advertisers in specific know exactly how to market cheap carbs. My god (I hate cheeseburgers by the way) have you seen most burger advertisements? They are like food porn. Imagine having to give up your porn. LOL Most guys on here flip at the very mention of it. My recovery as a food addict includes: going to 3 meetings a week (in my case I am working another 12 step program, so I don't have to spend all 3 meetings at FA), phoning my sponsor at 6 a.m. and telling her exactly what I will be eating that day. My food plan is as follows: (all weighed and measured by a food scale!) Breakfast:(between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m.) 6 oz of plain yogurt, 4 oz of berries, 1 oz of rolled oats Lunch (between 11 am and 1 pm) and Dinner (between 5-7 pm)(the same meal twice): 12oz of salad with fresh vegetables, 4 oz of protein (chicken or fish or eggs or 2 oz of cheese or cottage cheese), 6 oz of 1 type of cooked vegetables (cannot include starches like potatoes or corn). I must be sitting down at an appropriate spot to eat (not my car, and not on the run). I cannot mix my food together. I do not get salad dressing. There is no sugar, flour, rice or other refined carbs EVER (including not Christmas, my Birthday etc. Food is not to be part of my celebrating). These are the dictates of my recovery program. If any of the conditions aren't met, including mixing the food, not weighing it exactly, being on the run, missing a meal or having it early etc etc etc. I am considered to have had a "break" and "relapsed." This is not until I reach my goal weight or get some kind of health club certificate. This is for the rest of my life everyday. The program is insanely strict. All because I could not manage my food. I did it for 86 days last time and lost close to 90 lbs. You do have to go off of the program if you are pregnant and it is recommended by a physician. I got pregnant and ate well (very very healthy) throughout the pregnancy but lost interest in the programs strict requirements while being a new mom. I am ready to go back now. Dropping the cupcake, the Magic Ticket and moving the **** on. Most people in general couldn't do it, imagine how tough it is for someone addicted to sugar. I would love to see you do it and not relapse. QUOTE: You could calorie count and obsess about it. Or, you could simply get used to idea that being a little hungry is good and NOT eat until satiated. Some people have real medical reasons for why they can't maintain healthy weight, most don't. Sugar and carb addiction is a medical reason. Most people that are hugely overweight would have this issue. It's not as easy as: I really should quit. While yes, I'm a young male and weight is not a problem, if you look at statistics, the US is full of overweight and obese young males. It's not just women who are fat, it's the guys too! We just plain old eat too much because food is cheap and oily/sugary meals permeate the mass culture... Now why someone takes such an issue, in fact an offense over someone else's health and personal issues makes me wonder why?
ivalm Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Now why someone takes such an issue, in fact an offense over someone else's health and personal issues makes me wonder why? I take no offence and wish to cause none. I feel there is a lot of unjustified self-pity going on, but perhaps not in your particular case.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Just in general. Sorry I know that my question came right after your quoted post. generally such things like "dropping the cupcake" would suggest a shaming offense. There are tons and tons and tons of examples like this all over the internet and in real life. Seems fat is a target.
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