just lost my first love

[giveittofate]

So about a month and a half ago my first TRUE love decided to end things. I'm 24 and she's 21 and the reasons were because she wanted to get serious, be married in a couple years, and have kids sooner than i wanted (i mean i planned to be with her forever and told her that, I just wasn't in such a rush to get that serious)...i wanted to try and compromise, but it was pretty much her way or no way when it came to things like that...I just never wanted to put a time frame on things, especially still being pretty young.

 

I was also the her first for everything and she was always the one who wanted to hangout 24/7 where I still wanted some friends time and personal space, because I figured we were still young and as time passes we'll spend the rest of our lives together (pretty much I loved her a lot, but didn't have to be with her all the time) she was also a bit insecure, and had some baggage from her mom being divorced 3 times by her late 30's

 

anyways I know we had our fair share of disagreements and I was much more laid back then her, and her emotions at times would become annoying, because she always let such little things bother her...like a girl writing on my fb wall...and we were both totally committed and loyal, so i never got why she got so jealous? it just seemed so unnecessary to want to fight about petty things like that

 

I just didn't expect this to hurt so bad. It's been a month and a half and seeing a picture of her out partying makes me literally a little sick to my stomach (ive finally deleted her from fb) and why is it that I was always attracted to her and loved her but now since she ended things she seems SOOOO MUCH more beautiful than ever and perfect in everyway?, like i lost the perfect girl? (i mean deep down I know she's not the prettiest girl in the world and she's far from perfect, but it's just how i feel now)...is that normal?

 

maybe it's because this was my first real love and I've never experienced pain like this before from a breakup? But at times I literally feel like a walking zombie...I wake up every morning thinking about her and have a knot in my stomach.

 

I was just curious when you guys lost your first love how did you cope? I've gone NC with her for almost 3 weeks, yet i still miss her dearly...at times i feel like i'll never find that same spark and feeling of love again in another girl..is that just because it's still pretty fresh and a normal phase to be in? And i REALLY, REALLY don't understand why i'm sooo much more attracted to her than before....like after our breakup she became some goddess.

 

If anyone here on LS can share some previous experiences, feelings, thoughts, and ways to cope about losing their first love please share, because I feel so overwhelmed and lonely now...i just want to know if this is completely normal to feel so distraught and down on life going through something like this.

 

Thanks everyone

[january2010]

I'm sorry you're in pain. First loves are usually very hard to get over.

 

At the beginning, it is normal for an ex's value to go up after a breakup because we pine for what we had and have now lost.

 

You won't forget her but you will find someone else who you may not love in the same way, but who you will love just as much.

 

I spent a lot of time with my friends, studying, socialising, etc. It really helped me to heal from my first breakup. Now, years later, I remember how upset I was but it no longer tugs on my heart strings. It is just a memory.

 

You're doing the right thing by going NC. It is an emotional rollercoaster at the moment but with time and looking after yourself (exercise, sleep, healthy diet, activities), the pain will lessen and your emotions will start to stabilise themselves.

[Mrlonelyone]

I personally haven't ever gotten over my first adult true love. We dated on and off for years and I still care for her very much.

 

You will find other loves, but the first love is often very special. The last love however, the one that last the longest, is also often very very special too. Don't worry you will find that very special "last love" someday.