Sw3etdev1L Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 After having a mother with cancer who died recently I decided to give myself some space from dating morons. I dated so much people who were not nice, and now I have a boyfriend who is nice, warm, giving, he is searching for the best of life in his job, he's got the desire of progressing and works a lot. I like him a lot. The thing is... i think he likes me as a wife material you know?.. sometimes I suppose that. It makes me kind of nervous to think about that. The only thing that makes me doubt a little is the fact that , eventhough he has a stable job, and he is working in managing 4 little stores of food... with some partners, he doesn't seem totally pleased and sometimes tells me that in life there are problems and harsh moments which you gotta live and go through em, because his father had a lot of money and he lost it in a bad investment. and he seems so nervous about his future. He gets to be so tense that his back starts hurting a lot. I don't like him feeling bad because of his nervousness.. I worry. the thing is i had to take anti depressives after my mom died, and besides that I have to take carbamazepine, a regulator of the nervous system. I don't want him to be sick or anything, just because he gets too anxious of his economic state... because sometimes he also makes me wonder.. ¿why is he feeling like that, if he seems he is doing well?.. I get annoyed that he has all these very very rich friends with parents who have big stores and stuff, and he wishes he'd be one of them .. not in an envioous state, but he really wants to be very rich and stuff.. to the point he gets all nervous. I like that he is nice, intelligent, he has such a warm heart, but his financial insecurity really gets to me.. sometimes. Because this is so constant.. I don't want to be with someone else, but I wish he could just relax, and not be so hard on himself. Because it really gets to me. I know life sometimes is hard, I went through my mothers cancer, my parents divorce, my own fragility taking carbamazepine, the thing is I dont want any more stressors in my life.. I want sanity and a peaceful environment. Sometimes I wish he'd have enough money to be ok with himself, to be in peace and not have this back pains... sometimes I wonder, if I'd be ok with him or not. it's funny because where i live we still have the culture that man carriies the weight on the shoulders about the money and the woman is the housewife... I don't want to worry abut economic stuff. sometimes .... i do, and I had never ever worried before abouut something like that.. I know I have to support him. and sometimes what happens is, ¿why is he my boyfriend? , after all these friends (girls), he has with those powerful fathers.. why is he not their boyfriends?... I mean... he could be doing that and not be with me.. I know he loves me. Is love enough?
carhill Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Same guy? If so, same song, different verse. What do *you* want? If this is someone new, since that thread was from July of last year, I'd suggest enjoying the 'nice, warm, giving' person you're with and let the job stuff work itself out. That said, if stability and security are your primary concerns in life, and your perspective is that a man should provide them, then cut him loose and find a man who matches up with what you want. No need to fight inevitability. Good luck
shayan Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 let him learn the lessons he needs to learn just be supportive, don't let his problems and stress make you miserable learn to dettach yourself from other people's stress.
Author Sw3etdev1L Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 thank you shayan I think your comment is excellent..
Author Sw3etdev1L Posted January 4, 2011 Author Posted January 4, 2011 thank you too carhill.. I just need to enjoy the nice, sweet, and lovable person I am with. by now. This is my boyfriend since.. october.. I do love him. I think stability and security is something most women want in a relationship.. but yes, he is young and needs to learn from life.. and I just think I need to be supportive and don't freak out just because he tells me he is worried about the future when he becomes futuristic. thank you guys : )
funlove Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 Maybe just work with him and help make him more confident in his actions whether that means not investing any more in a bad economy or taking advantage of the bad economy to make strategic investments. A woman and her face forward influence can be the most important thing to a man when it comes to decision making... Hope it all works out...
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