randy90631 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I find it difficult in this dating world to transition from "casual" dating to a exclusive relationship. I'm 30 year old guy and have dated enough women to know that woman I'm dating has the qualities for LT relationship usually with 7-10 dates. I've been done with the dating for just "fun" attitude since I was 25. I want to find someone to fall in love with, have fun, and share my life with. My question is after 10 or so dates enough time to decide on dating exclusively? Over the last five years I've developed my own pace of the way a relationship should transition from one step to the next. First Date to 4th date: Determine if we are compatable, have fun getting to know each other, and decide if each other have potential for a serious relationship. Between 5th Date to 7 to 10th Date: Have fun! 10th date, no later: Exclusive dating 3 months - 1 year: Fall in love with each other 2 years+: Decide on getting married or not. I've been dating a 28 year old woman for 6 weeks and we've hungout (dates) about 10 times. I asked her to be exclusive after 9 dates, to which she said that she wants "a little more time for us to know each first" I think her dating priorities aren't the same as me. I see a lot of potential in her, should I talk to her what her priorities are in dating me and does she want desire a serious relationship with me, or just stop dating her?
paleblue Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I would just relax and go with the flow for a little while if you like her. Giver her some time like she asked. Not everyone has time tables for things like this. I wouldn’t bring anything up right now. Go on a few more dates with her. See what happens. Let her bring it up. If she doesn’t say anything after another 10 dates, maybe then ask her what her intentions are.
youngskywalker Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Not everyone has time tables for things like this. Agreed. You seem to have everything mapped out too much. Just go with the flow. Everyone has their standards, just know what is acceptable to you. For me, if I'm making out with the girl then its going to be exclusive or I move on. Sorry, but she's not going to make out with me on Tuesday and then on Thursday be with some other guy sucking face. If she wants to date other guys fine, I'm ok with that as long as she's not making out with them.. Thing is we all know what happens on dates
carhill Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I've been dating a 28 year old woman for 6 weeks and we've hungout (dates) about 10 times. I asked her to be exclusive after 9 dates, to which she said that she wants "a little more time for us to know each first" I think her dating priorities aren't the same as me. I see a lot of potential in her, should I talk to her what her priorities are in dating me and does she want desire a serious relationship with me, or just stop dating her?Date other women. Your patience and gentlemanly behaviors are a valuable commodity. No need to spend them all on her. Welcome to LS
zengirl Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 10 dates is enough time for many people, but not for everyone. I wouldn't put all your eggs in this basket, as that's essentially what her response tells you. It doesn't mean she's a horrible person, or even wrong for you, but yes, her priorities may be different. They might be WAY different, or they might be close. A 10 date rule seems very strict to me. Also depends on other contacts, the overall time you've been seeing each other, etc.
youngskywalker Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I'm a bit confused with this thread. Say if, you were dating a girl for 10 dates and you're having sex with her. She wants to date guys and is having sex with them too. Are you, carhill and zengirl down with that? Boy, times are a changin'.
carhill Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 For myself, I would not date *any* woman who is banging someone else. She is not intimacy material in any form or fashion. Simple as that. One whiff and bye-bye.
Mad Max Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 For myself, I would not date *any* woman who is banging someone else. She is not intimacy material in any form or fashion. Simple as that. One whiff and bye-bye. Agreed. Low class women do that and they don't deserve decent men.
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