suddendumpee Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 This is what is going on for me right now. It has been 6 weeks since my 7 month "perfect" relationship abruptly ended. I was doing great but the Holidays definitely delivered a setback. For Christmas, everyone I know was with their wives, girlfriends etc. All of my friends had New Year's "couples" plans, so I went out of state to meet a High School friend. This was another couples event, but it was cool because my friend's wife was bringing her single friend who I had met in the past and had an instant connection with. Well...she showed up with her ex :/ So my Holiday's were spent building bitterness with the fact that my ex is sharing these moments with her new man. The "guy friend" who posed no threat to our relationship . I can't shake the feeling that he is sleeping in MY girl's bed, buying MY girl presents, and may end up hijacking MY role in MY wedding one day. Ridiculous, I know, but I had so many of these things plotted out in my head as certainties. The suddenness of the breakup with no signs or fighting, and romantic texts all the way up to the day before has made this very hard to let go. Accepting the reality has almost become more difficult instead of easier. Knowing that her new relationship was developing while things SEEMED to be progressing between us has made me feel like a fool. I always took pride in my ability to judge character and I can't believe I let this happen. I constantly shift from sad to mad, exited for the future to scared of being alone. I want to hate my ex but I cannot. I have been in her shoes before. I have learned that the grass IS NOT greener and when THAT level of comfort is reached with somebody, it is something to cherish, not run from in search of further excitement. I cannot hate her for not learning this lesson yet. I loved the girl and want her to be happy, but NOT with him, and NOT yet. Does that make sense? Anyone who would work a girl over while in a relationship is low class she deserves better. I'm a walking contradiction, I'm confused, I'm just venting...haha. Thanks for listening.
bluebirdsfly Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Knowing that her new relationship was developing while things SEEMED to be progressing between us has made me feel like a fool. I always took pride in my ability to judge character and I can't believe I let this happen. I constantly shift from sad to mad, exited for the future to scared of being alone. The above is exactly what I'm feeling. Thank you for sharing. Sorry, I couldn't provide any wise comments to make you feel better.
bl22 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 This is what is going on for me right now. It has been 6 weeks since my 7 month "perfect" relationship abruptly ended. I was doing great but the Holidays definitely delivered a setback. For Christmas, everyone I know was with their wives, girlfriends etc. All of my friends had New Year's "couples" plans, so I went out of state to meet a High School friend. This was another couples event, but it was cool because my friend's wife was bringing her single friend who I had met in the past and had an instant connection with. Well...she showed up with her ex :/ So my Holiday's were spent building bitterness with the fact that my ex is sharing these moments with her new man. The "guy friend" who posed no threat to our relationship . I can't shake the feeling that he is sleeping in MY girl's bed, buying MY girl presents, and may end up hijacking MY role in MY wedding one day. Ridiculous, I know, but I had so many of these things plotted out in my head as certainties. The suddenness of the breakup with no signs or fighting, and romantic texts all the way up to the day before has made this very hard to let go. Accepting the reality has almost become more difficult instead of easier. Knowing that her new relationship was developing while things SEEMED to be progressing between us has made me feel like a fool. I always took pride in my ability to judge character and I can't believe I let this happen. I constantly shift from sad to mad, exited for the future to scared of being alone. I want to hate my ex but I cannot. I have been in her shoes before. I have learned that the grass IS NOT greener and when THAT level of comfort is reached with somebody, it is something to cherish, not run from in search of further excitement. I cannot hate her for not learning this lesson yet. I loved the girl and want her to be happy, but NOT with him, and NOT yet. Does that make sense? Anyone who would work a girl over while in a relationship is low class she deserves better. I'm a walking contradiction, I'm confused, I'm just venting...haha. Thanks for listening. I could have written this exact post and meant every word of it. I dont want my ex unhappy in the future, but I dont want the reason for her to be happy is because of the guy she left me for. I have done no wrong to her and we had an amazing relationship and bond...would that mean the heartbreak, pain, suffering i recieved because of her is justified...because now she is 'happy'? Hell no. I dont want her to be happy with him, I want her to feel the same suffering I felt, I didnt deserve...yet now she DOES deserve it for doing what she did. And yes I feel like a fool too, this whole thing caught me totally off guard as I trusted her with all my heart. More than anyone. They must have their weak moments though, surely! I mean our relationship was absolutely filled with intimate moments and connections you only find from couples in love. Ive been in plenty of relationships before to know that it was love this time. I think she was just too immature and young to carry it on, and got easily manipulated by some desperate fool. Stil feels like a nightmare, that I'm going to wake up in her bed as normal, turn over to her and tell her about my bad dream. She'd tell me im silly she could never possibly do that, she swears down. and we both fall back to sleep. I have to say that happened a few times, never me having the bad dream though...always her...
SCG_Sasa1111 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 word for word..this is exactly how i feel..i am going through the EXACT same thing. Same feelings, everything man. This is everything I have thouhgt of as me and my ex were together for 4.5 years everything was good..and i went to my country for 15 days..she was Crazy about me..like we are pretty young 20 both of us..but she would tell me about how she would marry me and have kids and all that stuff eventually and up until my trip back in may'10..things betwen us couldnt b better i was at her place constantly..spending the night everything..wen i was leaving she cryed it was hard for both of us cuz we were really attached. I come back...15 days later 2 see the love of my life as a different person- i felt the distance from her. She developed feelings for the "friend" who posed no problems. I did not find this friend a threat at all- likee she would be txting him constantly and i told her liek wth r u 2 talkin about liek seriously its gettin on my nerves and she said ur over reacting were just friends...flash forward 2 end of october...she left me for him:S..
AC06 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 This is one of the things I'm really struggling with, exactly like it. I know my ex is happy, most of the time. I know she won't stay happy. I don't WANT her to be unhappy, but I'm constantly thinking "It should have been me, it should have been us". All the while the problem between us was getting more obvious, I tried and tried, and even though she loved me, all her effort was going to her new friends, none to me. I feel like I got shafted, like if she'd put a tenth of the effort I did into our relationship, this wouldn't have happened. But she didn't put in that effort near the end, it did happen, and someone else has had an easy road to a relationship. And sadly, there's nothing I can do except wish it had been me.
mmiller5373 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 This is a good thread. I think the holiday's kills a little bit of all of us, especially if the breakup is still fresh on our minds. I had this feeling of emptiness throughout the past few weeks. I felt so alone. Plus, I was in my cousin's wedding right before Christmas. My ex was suppose to come to that. I keep thinking to myself, I wonder what she got him. I wonder what he got her. I wonder if he's over her family's house. I want my ex to be happy, but not with the man that stole her from me. And yes, just like a lot of other people in this thread, I feel like a fool knowing that her relationship was developing with this guy while she was still with me. And the fact that she lied about him and other things kind of makes me want to get revenge in some way. Is that bad? To almost want revenge on your ex?
Recommended Posts