hitbyatruck Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 If the (and I now say the, not my) cheating, betraying, walk-away ex ever tries to put what was our family back together again (we tried a recon but she ran back to OM) and I have by then fully moved on (and I've come a long way so far) then I would have the greatest pleasure in staring into her eyes and saying honestly back to her, the famous words: I LOVE YOU BUT I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU .....because by then that statement will be true. THAT would be my ultimate revenge.
stupidgurl Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 LIVING WELL is the ultimate revenge. I promise.
coltsfan1 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 do whatever it takes to fuel your fire, but at some point proving her to be the fool should get put to rest.. I am living this right now, I have set some goals to better myself and to prove her wrong. When I achive them i will put proving her wrong to rest in order to share the much improved me with someone more deserving.
Author hitbyatruck Posted January 3, 2011 Author Posted January 3, 2011 You think about this too much. @durkadurka: You spout off without really thinking about the consequences, don't you? How productive, supportive or helpful do you think that statement is? As somebody who has started over 2 dozen posts in 3 months about YOUR OWN SITUATION maybe you were referring to yourself. And how would you have any idea of how often I think of "this"? I think about a lot of things, some too intensely on occasion. I thought this forum, and in particular this sub-forum was a place to open dialogue about our collective and individual issues as well as a place to vent when necessary rather than take it out on our ex partners or random members of the public, family members, work colleagues, etc. Only on days like today when my 2 year old son goes back to his mother and I don't get to kiss him goodnight or wake up to his emerging speech for 5 days do I think about this. I get on with his mother to the degree that I see my son whenever I can - currently 2 days/nights weekly - 5 less than I did at the beginning of this year. Many people are less fortunate or less able to do so for many reasons. Please take a minute to review such a flippant comment next time.
m2s Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Hit: your last post really struck a cord with me, the one about your son. My walk-away ex is too missing out on his 2 year old son. He just up and walked 2 months ago. I wonder HOW he could do that, if not to me, but to his son. He is missing out on so much. Our son, is growing at such a rapid rate, his speech is expanding so much, the things he comprehends now is unreal, you sneeze he says bless you. Just everything about him is so great now (as apposed to being a baby, he is growing into a little boy) and my ex choose to walk away from that - blows my mind. Mine gets his son 1 day a fortnight (8 hours every 2 weeks). A far cry from him putting him to bed every night, or rolling around with him on the ground or helping him read a book each day. That alone, I dont understand his choice to choose a "single life" over his family.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I wondered the same thing when my husband took off. Then he came back and held her and I think it smartened him up. I know if it comes down to the split we will war over her tooth and nail. I also think she is the main reason he isn't taking off. I am okay with that. I would rather her have her dad around. It is so sad when they don't.
Author hitbyatruck Posted January 3, 2011 Author Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) I'm not so sure about the "Living well is the best revenge" cliche anymore either. Living well (define "well" at your will) should be the goal of every sentient being on the planet. To me, "Living well is the best revenge" is quite a broad statement and could be interpreted in two different ways: 1. Find and fall in love with a woman more beautiful, kinder, smarter, lacking the infidelity gene. Trust her as much as your heart will now allow. Start a family. Grow. Of course, for this to be revenge it needs to be flaunted in front of the ex, doesn't it? This doesn't sound too progressive to me. or, 2. Live a life so full that you are one day truly able to no longer care that the person you once loved in a way that actually often left you in awe of love's power, painful even - betrayed that love, broke up that family, rubbed dirt in the face of a proud man and went off to serve their own selfish needs rather than help clean up the mess she created half of. A bit of 1 & 2 might be the answer. As George Harrison once sung: "It's Gonna Take Time". I'm in a pretty intense mood today. Some sage words from Steadfast will probably bring me back down. Are you there Steady? Edited January 3, 2011 by hitbyatruck
LifeIsGreat Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 do whatever it takes to fuel your fire, but at some point proving her to be the fool should get put to rest.. I am living this right now, I have set some goals to better myself and to prove her wrong. When I achive them i will put proving her wrong to rest in order to share the much improved me with someone more deserving. Exactly!! Notice the name of this board, and it's sub-text. It's about coping and healing, not revenge. It's for advice and therapy. Venting too.. but I think venting should be done in a productive way. When I read some of the things people say about their ex's I wonder: 'what would a therapist or spirtual adviser say if they heard you saying this?' Also, 'is what this person saying really helping anyone else, or is it so negative that it's bringing others down'?
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