mixedupgirl31 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Ive been married for 18yrs-have 2 children and my story is one like alot of people...busy lives-we grew apart...he has his friends, i have mine... I went thru a major depression after my son was born in '99 combined with panic disorder which lasted for several years, it ruined our lives. But I did get meds and went thru therapy and have since improved 99% --But I am a different person. I feel like I can never live up to what he has needed me to be and truth is Idont want to...I have grown very apathetic towards our whole marriage over the last few years and neither one of us is happy. We agree that there is no love or attraction between us although both of us wish it could be there again. We started counseling after he had an EA with a coworker (which is what brought everything to a head) I am depressed about the situation and i am going to check in with my dr...but today we discussed separating to see how we feel after some time...Financially we cannot afford it, but I feel like its the best... We can already see ourselves as friends and being there for the kids. Are we already too emotionally withdrawn from the marriage to get anything back?
health Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 I would say try everything you possibly can to try to salvage the marriage. Is there any other guy on your mind that could be influencing this? Your H having an EA was a sign of trouble,and it's great you took action to help fix it. I just know that divorce is not a magic thing where evryone is happy - many times it just brings about a whole slew of new problems. Isay try your best to fix this, so in the end you know you gave it your all - then don' get involved with anyone else for a full year after the divorce/separation.
hopesndreams Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 As long as there isn't anyone influencing your decision in any way (a male "friend") then I say go for it. You are well within your rights to throw in the towel. Trust is next to impossible to rebuild after a spouse has an affair.
robf1971 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Ive been married for 18yrs-have 2 children and my story is one like alot of people...busy lives-we grew apart...he has his friends, i have mine... I went thru a major depression after my son was born in '99 combined with panic disorder which lasted for several years, it ruined our lives. But I did get meds and went thru therapy and have since improved 99% --But I am a different person. I feel like I can never live up to what he has needed me to be and truth is Idont want to...I have grown very apathetic towards our whole marriage over the last few years and neither one of us is happy. We agree that there is no love or attraction between us although both of us wish it could be there again. We started counseling after he had an EA with a coworker (which is what brought everything to a head) I am depressed about the situation and i am going to check in with my dr...but today we discussed separating to see how we feel after some time...Financially we cannot afford it, but I feel like its the best... We can already see ourselves as friends and being there for the kids. Are we already too emotionally withdrawn from the marriage to get anything back? f'ing hell, why does anyone bother getting married these days
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