How come it's not easy to get geek girls?

[Els]

Not sure if it's an American thing, but most geek guys I know are lanky-thin instead of obese. I can't even begin to guess why.

[dreamingoftigers]

Not sure if it's an American thing, but most geek guys I know are lanky-thin instead of obese. I can't even begin to guess why.

 

I dated mostly lanky geeks before my H. My last ex would sometimes only eat a bowl of cheerios a day, one of my other exes lived off of Pepsi, Nibs, and chicken wings (ironically 3 of the foods I hate THE MOST, and his breath was disgusting).

 

As a very geeky girl in my younger years I can tell you why they are so hard to date:

 

1. We are IN DEMAND. That's right! Weird, and who would have thought? Well the thing is lots of geek guys want that girl and there aren't that many geeky girls that are actually interested in geeky stuff. I was even pretty flexible, one ex liked anime and manga I learned about it and was cool with it. On ex liked Ultima Online, I tried and played (blah) my ex fiance was into chess and Yu Gi Oh cards (I played, yes I did). One ex did this medieval thing. One guy, after I got married, told me he was in love with me because I had watched every episode and movie of Babylon 5.

 

2. We are not just in demand from the geek guys, there are also the guys who are a little insecure about their girlfriends taking off on them, so often they figure geek girls are more likely to stay loyal etc. I have dated a couple of those, forget about it.

 

3. We are usually driven to do or achieve something, so we don't necessariy have a whole load of time to: do our work etc, have our hobby & date.

 

4. Geek guys are often so social, um, they, um, it's tougher for them. There we go! Anyways, some are so nervous talking to you that it is really tough to get through very much to them.

 

5. Geek guys are sometimes unable to actually show interest. A lot just assume that they are going to get rejected, so why bother? I have dated guys that thought they never had a chance with me. Looking back they really shouldn't have.

 

6. A geek guy will often assume that just because you are interested in the same thing that you will want to talk about only that day and night. The ironic thing with the geek guys and me was, after I started dating them (until my religious conversion) I really just wanted to screw them, there was just something so appealing about the smart guy who would never think he had a chance being really excited that you were interested in him. I had a couple of exes (one in particular) who thought that now that they got me they could go and conquer all of womankind.

 

The one guy in question actually had the balls to ask me how to pick up other women. He had tried asking other women out for 2 weeks after our liason ended and he didn't have any luck (the fact that he was 33 and a lot of them were very attractive 18-20 may have factored in *doh!*). I couldn't help it, I said: "Just because you were with me for a little bit didn't just up and turn you into The King of the Ladies!" A couple of weeks after that he wanted to get together again but I think he was actually my lowest relational point, so forget it.

[Eeyore79]

Not sure if it's an American thing, but most geek guys I know are lanky-thin instead of obese. I can't even begin to guess why.

Lanky-thin is equally unattractive. I guess geeks are either fat or skinny because they tend not to exercise or do sports (too busy doing geek stuff). If they had an average body and/or exercised more they'd be much more attractive.

[Eeyore79]

I had a couple of exes (one in particular) who thought that now that they got me they could go and conquer all of womankind.

 

Hahaha, I have experienced the same thing! I've dated a few guys who previously had little success with women, and after they dated me they thought they had somehow turned into Casanova. My taste in men isn't exactly attractive to the majority of women; just because I liked a guy, that doesn't mean he's suddenly attractive to other women too.

[carhill]

A lot of geeky guys are obese, have dandruff, greasy hair, bad skin, bad teeth, no dress sense, jam jar bottom glasses -

 

Does being a criminal help?

 

 

I'll presume you know who that is...

[somedude81]

1. We are IN DEMAND. That's right! Weird, and who would have thought? Well the thing is lots of geek guys want that girl and there aren't that many geeky girls that are actually interested in geeky stuff.

Not surprising.

 

Unfortunately the situation becomes almost hopeless for geeky guys.

 

The normal girls are basically impossible to attract. So we go for geeky girls who should be easier, but there isn't enough of them to go around. Even then, just because a guy finds a single, geeky girl that he may have tons of common interests with, he still has to make her like him or else he just made a new buddy.

 

As I said before, a geeky girl may have other issues as well. The girl I knew told me that she didn't even like being a girl. I think that's just one of the reasons why she wanted to be single. Unless she was waiting for the perfect guy to sweep her off her feet

[Els]

Not surprising.

 

Unfortunately the situation becomes almost hopeless for geeky guys.

 

The normal girls are basically impossible to attract. So we go for geeky girls who should be easier, but there isn't enough of them to go around. Even then, just because a guy finds a single, geeky girl that he may have tons of common interests with, he still has to make her like him or else he just made a new buddy.

 

As I said before, a geeky girl may have other issues as well. The girl I knew told me that she didn't even like being a girl. I think that's just one of the reasons why she wanted to be single. Unless she was waiting for the perfect guy to sweep her off her feet

 

I'm sorry, but to put it bluntly, you're a perfect example of why geek girls are wary of their male counterparts. You were rejected by the girl THREE times and continued to go after her! It is people like you, that bring a bad name to the rest of the bunch. It is perfectly fine to be proactive with dating women - but proactivity does NOT mean consistently harping over a girl who rejected you and brainstorming about possible reasons that could be wrong with HER just because she doesn't like you.

 

I don't particularly like being a girl. I know other girls, similarly tomboys/geeks, who agree that it'd be easier to be a male. None of us have 'issues' with having male partners. I don't even think the girl you're talking about necessarily has issues with having male partners. Based on the thread you made about her, I think she's just reserved and hasn't met the RIGHT (note, right, not perfect) guy, and you're just trying to make it sound like she doesn't like ALL guys, just because you cannot bring yourself to accept that she just isn't interested in YOU. Also, the bolded makes it sound like you would RATHER have a 'normal' girl, but she's impossible to attract, so you 'resign' yourself to 'geeky' girls just because you think they should be 'easier'.

 

It is this entire attitude that makes you unattractive.

 

Of course, I could be wrong, but that's just what it sounds like to me based on what you said and your previous posts.

Edited January 7, 2011 by Elswyth

[Els]

Lanky-thin is equally unattractive. I guess geeks are either fat or skinny because they tend not to exercise or do sports (too busy doing geek stuff). If they had an average body and/or exercised more they'd be much more attractive.

 

Speak for yourself. An ex of mine was reeeeeeealllly thin (like 125 lbs at 5'9" thin), didn't bother to iron his shirts, and probably 'unattractive'. But I liked him because he was the most brilliant, hyperintelligent guy I'd ever known and probably will ever know (seriously, I think he was bordering on savantism), amazingly gentle, humble and kind, and with a razor-sharp wit that puts most comedians to shame. I chose him over a more attractive and 'normal' guy, in fact. Eventually broke up with him after 2 years due to him becoming addicted to a video game and the added stress of distance, but I definitely don't regret the relationship. It was good while it lasted (before his addiction started).

[somedude81]

I'm sorry, but to put it bluntly, you're a perfect example of why geek girls are wary of their male counterparts. You were rejected by the girl THREE times and continued to go after her! It is people like you, that bring a bad name to the rest of the bunch.

Wary of their male counterparts? I had her alone with me in my apartment twice.

 

She obviously trusted me enough, to know that I wouldn't do anything to her.

 

How is me being persistent bringing a bad name to other people?

 

As for her rejecting me, I was trying to go for a solid, hard, rejection. Where she either starts ignoring me, or tells me to leave her alone. If a girl tells me that she doesn't want to date me, but then suggests we go out for lunch; it tells me to ignore her words, and focus on her actions.

 

Alas, even I know when to stop. The semester ended in the middle of December and I haven't seen her in three weeks. Though we emailed a couple of times to clear the air.

 

It is perfectly fine to be proactive with dating women - but proactivity does NOT mean consistently harping over a girl who rejected you and brainstorming about possible reasons that could be wrong with HER just because she doesn't like you.

Sorry, I'm obviously not over her and I'm struggling to figure out why she didn't like me. On paper, we'd make a great couple. We had a great time when we hung out, and I can't understand why she didn't want to date.

 

 

I don't particularly like being a girl. I know other girls, similarly tomboys/geeks, who agree that it'd be easier to be a male. None of us have 'issues' with having male partners. I don't even think the girl you're talking about necessarily has issues with having male partners. Based on the thread you made about her, I think she's just reserved and hasn't met the RIGHT (note, right, not perfect) guy, and you're just trying to make it sound like she doesn't like ALL guys, just because you cannot bring yourself to accept that she just isn't interested in YOU.

None of us know whether or not she has issues with male partners. I've known her since January of 2010 and she was single the whole time. I don't think she's ever dated, and at 21, that may mean that there is something going on with her.

 

Right guy, perfect guy, same thing. I highly doubt that none of the men she's met in her life were the right guy. My only guess is that there is something preventing her from wanting to date, or her standards are stupid high and she's only into guys who are out of her league.

 

 

 

Also, the bolded makes it sound like you would RATHER have a 'normal' girl, but she's impossible to attract, so you 'resign' yourself to 'geeky' girls just because you think they should be 'easier'.

 

It is this entire attitude that makes you unattractive.

 

Of course, I could be wrong, but that's just what it sounds like to me based on what you said and your previous posts.

No, I would prefer a geeky girl. I would love to have a girlfriend that I could watch anime and play video games with. Frankly I don't know what I would do with a normal girl.

 

The big issue with geeky girls, is that a lot of them are overweight. I did a search on OKC for girls in my area with the keyword anime in their profile, and 8 out of 10 girls were bigger than me. That's just not acceptable.

 

So the decent looking geeky girls are in high demand or they have issues preventing them from dating. And I don't know if should even bother going after normal girls, since the guys I'm competing with are a much higher caliber than I am,

[Disillusioned]

Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying they should be easy in that sense. But you would think that the girls who like video games, comics, anime, etc would be easier to talk to and date or even just be friends with because guys can easily find common interests with them. But they're just as difficult as all the other girls. The other thing I've noticed is the girls who are into the things I mentioned above don't talk about them as much as the guys and are not as enthusiastic about them either. Why? Somebody told me it's because if they do, then geek guys will hit on them because they're easy to talk to. Is this true?

 

What we have here is an example of a mental conflict in which the head is challenging the heart. If we're talking honest-to-God geeks here, then regardless of gender, they're internally debating whether to apply logic to the attraction process (= head), or to chuck logic and act stoopid about it like non-geeks do (= heart). Nobody wants to date Mr. or Mrs. Spock, but if you know what you want, that's who you're more likely to be stuck with.

[Els]

Wary of their male counterparts? I had her alone with me in my apartment twice.

 

She obviously trusted me enough, to know that I wouldn't do anything to her.

 

How is me being persistent bringing a bad name to other people?

 

Good Lord, I'm not talking about you raping her. That didn't even enter my mind. I was referring to the OP's question about geek girls being not-so-willing to get to know geek guys. My answer was that we are generally 'wary' of getting too chummy with geek guys because some of them simply cannot take no as an answer.

 

As for her rejecting me, I was trying to go for a solid, hard, rejection. Where she either starts ignoring me, or tells me to leave her alone. If a girl tells me that she doesn't want to date me, but then suggests we go out for lunch; it tells me to ignore her words, and focus on her actions.

No, no, no. It tells you that she wants to soften the blow and remain platonic friends. Whether you want to accept such an offer or not is up to you, but that does not belie her 'no'. That is exactly what I meant. A 'no' IS a solid rejection.

 

Sorry, I'm obviously not over her and I'm struggling to figure out why she didn't like me. On paper, we'd make a great couple. We had a great time when we hung out, and I can't understand why she didn't want to date.

On paper means nothing in real life.

 

None of us know whether or not she has issues with male partners. I've known her since January of 2010 and she was single the whole time. I don't think she's ever dated, and at 21, that may mean that there is something going on with her.

You have only known her to be single for 1 year. How do you know whether or not she's dated?

 

Right guy, perfect guy, same thing. I highly doubt that none of the men she's met in her life were the right guy. My only guess is that there is something preventing her from wanting to date, or her standards are stupid high and she's only into guys who are out of her league.

No, it is NOT the same thing. Is the distinction so hard to understand? Everyone is imperfect. There are people you're attracted to, and people you're not. Some people just don't get attracted easily. There's no point in forcing themselves to be attracted, unless they themselves are so very unhappy with being single and so very desperate to have a partner, like you are. She doesn't sound like she is. There have been guys that I shared hobbies with and hung out with, who looked decent. Some look better than my bf/exes did. But I was not attracted to them. The spark was missing. No compatibility, no connection.

 

Anyhow, EVEN if she's never been with a guy, it's highly likely that she would have had a few guys (assuming she's hetero) that she was interested in but simply were not interested in her back. Not all guys fall for 90% of the women they interact with, the way you do.

 

 

No, I would prefer a geeky girl. I would love to have a girlfriend that I could watch anime and play video games with. Frankly I don't know what I would do with a normal girl.

 

The big issue with geeky girls, is that a lot of them are overweight. I did a search on OKC for girls in my area with the keyword anime in their profile, and 8 out of 10 girls were bigger than me. That's just not acceptable.

 

So the decent looking geeky girls are in high demand or they have issues preventing them from dating. And I don't know if should even bother going after normal girls, since the guys I'm competing with are a much higher caliber than I am,

Indeed they are in demand. My point is that you're not exactly helping your case. Edited January 7, 2011 by Elswyth

[Mark11]

It seems like their is alot of male-bashing on this thread by females.

[dreamingoftigers]

Speak for yourself. An ex of mine was reeeeeeealllly thin (like 125 lbs at 5'9" thin), didn't bother to iron his shirts, and probably 'unattractive'. But I liked him because he was the most brilliant, hyperintelligent guy I'd ever known and probably will ever know (seriously, I think he was bordering on savantism), amazingly gentle, humble and kind, and with a razor-sharp wit that puts most comedians to shame. I chose him over a more attractive and 'normal' guy, in fact. Eventually broke up with him after 2 years due to him becoming addicted to a video game and the added stress of distance, but I definitely don't regret the relationship. It was good while it lasted (before his addiction started).

 

LOL one of my exes had the nickname "Lanky" another one would get called "Shaggy" because he bore an uncanny resemblance to the Scooby-do character. Sometimes people would come to him in public and tell him that . When the movie came out (I am not a fan btw) I saw the actor and thought: my ex would totally be more convincing.

 

My first serious ex would get called "Schmendrick" (The Last Unicorn) because of the resemblance. I sometimes called him "Somalia Boy" because he was so tall and thin..... easily 110-115 and 5'10" that his ribs stuck out and you could play some songs on them (not great songs and the tune wasn't perfect, but whatever). This was the guy that lived off of chicken wings and pepsi. (It was the end of High School).

 

I just noticed that I wasn't the one who coined any of these nicknames or anything, kind of funny, I dated caricatures.

 

My husband when I met him (he is not a geek) had long blond hair and a full beard, he looked like a Viking. L'anse aux Meadows offered him a part-time job when we visited there because he was friendly and they thought he would fit one of the openings. They thought we were part of a re-enactment group.

[somedude81]

Good Lord, I'm not talking about you raping her. That didn't even enter my mind. I was referring to the OP's question about geek girls being not-so-willing to get to know geek guys. My answer was that we are generally 'wary' of getting too chummy with geek guys because some of them simply cannot take no as an answer.

I really haven't had any issue with girls being wary of getting to know me. My guess is that I come of as totally harmless, which of course doesn't attract women.

 

No, no, no. It tells you that she wants to soften the blow and remain platonic friends. Whether you want to accept such an offer or not is up to you, but that does not belie her 'no'. That is exactly what I meant. A 'no' IS a solid rejection.

Soften the blow, bah. What a waste. That just delays things and makes it take longer to move on.

 

Honestly, I was just too stubborn to give up after she rejected me in October. I just find it really funny that after the rejection, we ended up spending more time together I wonder if she thought that I just gave up? Eventhough I kept trying to invite her to things. Some she'd go to, some she'd didn't.

On paper means nothing in real life.

I know, that's why I said, "on paper."

 

You have only known her to be single for 1 year. How do you know whether or not she's dated?

Careful observation. I notice how she interacts with me and with other guys. Also up until a couple of years ago, she was a big girl. I went to her house a few months ago and saw some family pictures. There are pictures of her that looked very different from the way she looks now.

 

Putting all those things together, it's my theory that she has never had a boyfriend. I wish I asked her about her past when we were still talking.

 

There are people you're attracted to, and people you're not. Some people just don't get attracted easily. There's no point in forcing themselves to be attracted, unless they themselves are so very unhappy with being single and so very desperate to have a partner, like you are. She doesn't sound like she is.

No, she didn't seem like the type who was desperate to have a boyfriend. Not once did I ever hear her talk about guys or dating, except for when she rejected me. For a while I thought she might be gay, but she strongly denied it when I hinted that I thought she was.

 

Frankly I wish she was gay, at least that would be an explanation for her not liking me.

 

There have been guys that I shared hobbies with and hung out with, who looked decent. Some look better than my bf/exes did. But I was not attracted to them. The spark was missing. No compatibility, no connection.

I absolutely hate the idea of attraction. For me it's so easy to become attracted to a girl.

 

If girl is cute, fun to be with, has common interests with me, no big negative issues, drug and disease free, I can be attracted to her.

 

What it takes to make a girl attracted to me? Hell if I know. I thought we were very compatible. Just missing that freaking "spark" that I have no idea how to make.

Anyhow, EVEN if she's never been with a guy, it's highly likely that she would have had a few guys (assuming she's hetero) that she was interested in but simply were not interested in her back. Not all guys fall for 90% of the women they interact with, the way you do.

I really have no idea.

 

With my current thought process, I can't imagine why a single guy, would reject a decent girl.

Indeed they are in demand. My point is that you're not exactly helping your case.

My case? I'm not trying to win a case here, I'm trying to learn and understand how women work and to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I'm almost 30 years old and I'm getting very close to running out of hope.

[Els]

I really haven't had any issue with girls being wary of getting to know me. My guess is that I come of as totally harmless, which of course doesn't attract women.

 

Mayhaps. It's hard to know without knowing you personally.

 

Soften the blow, bah. What a waste. That just delays things and makes it take longer to move on.

 

Honestly, I was just too stubborn to give up after she rejected me in October. I just find it really funny that after the rejection, we ended up spending more time together I wonder if she thought that I just gave up? Eventhough I kept trying to invite her to things. Some she'd go to, some she'd didn't.

Most likely she just thought (wrongly), "Whew, since everything's cleared up now, we can be free to be close friends." Regardless, you cannot blame a girl who says, "No, I don't want to date you" as leading you on. YOU made the choice to continue befriending her after the rejection. Of course she would want to continue being friends. She's not the one having an unrequited crush.

 

No, she didn't seem like the type who was desperate to have a boyfriend. Not once did I ever hear her talk about guys or dating, except for when she rejected me. For a while I thought she might be gay, but she strongly denied it when I hinted that I thought she was.

See, this is a good thing. Would you rather she have accepted you just because she was desperate despite lack of interest on her part?

 

I absolutely hate the idea of attraction. For me it's so easy to become attracted to a girl.

 

If girl is cute, fun to be with, has common interests with me, no big negative issues, drug and disease free, I can be attracted to her.

 

What it takes to make a girl attracted to me? Hell if I know. I thought we were very compatible. Just missing that freaking "spark" that I have no idea how to make.

I really have no idea.

Some people just get attracted easily and some don't. Really, if there was a foolproof way to determine this, this forum wouldn't even exist. I have been attracted to maybe 5 guys in my entire life. I am just incredibly lucky that 3 of them so far have reciprocated.

 

I feel for you, I really do. I know it's incredibly, incredibly difficult to find someone whom you feel chemistry for and who likes you back, who is a decent person in all aspects and compatible with you in most. That's why I don't buy the 'plenty of fish' ideology - for some of us, there ISN'T plenty of edible and catchable fish in the sea.

 

I really think you've yet to find your niche, or there are some things about yourself that you could work on. I wouldn't know what exactly, until I've met you in person. Just... the way to do it isn't to bug a girl who already said 'no' until she issues a restraining order on you. Okay?

[zengirl]

It seems like their is alot of male-bashing on this thread by females.

 

How so? I mean, there seems to be some nerd-bashing, especially of the not-hot variety, but there was female nerd bashing as well. Apparently, male nerds are lanky and wasting away, and female nerds are obese. And hot nerds, of either gender, are elusive.

[VertexSquared]

I am far, far too lazy to read this thread but I'll just throw in my two cents (or perhaps you'd rather have my 1.67 Yen instead).

 

I am a geek (but a finance/tech geek who likes cooking/video games/music/language/art/computers/reading/writing/blahblah) and so is my girlfriend. So I may have some experience with answering this question.

 

The problem I've noticed is twofold:

 

1. Geek girls tend to get pursued by geeky guys. Geeky guys usually can't take a hint and continue to pursue even when it's obvious as day that the girl isn't interested.

 

2. Many geeky guys usually do nothing BUT geek out and completely fail at doing/talking about anything else. Geeky girls might love playing a computer game often, but they usually do more than just that. Too many geeky guys I know do nothing but whore WoW all day and expect a girl to be okay with that kind of relationship.

 

I mean, believe me -- I'm a huge, huge nerd. You name it, I've played it, beaten it, mastered it, etc. But I also know when to call it a night and spend time doing something fun that doesn't involve computer/console games. You still need to have a functional social life at the end of the day and be able to hold a normal conversation.

 

3. Too many nerdy guys fawn over nerdy girls and come across as a bit creepy/stalkerish/desperate/whatever.

 

4. I feel like the real issue here isn't "nerdy girls" in general but "hot nerdy girls." They're really after a hot girl just like everyone else... but with the added bonus of similar interests (and therefore a perceived "easy in" to getting a hot girl over a "jock type"). The problem is that geeky guys feel this sort of "entitlement" where "a geeky girl SHOULD like me because I, too, am geeky" and this usually results in nothing but downhill progression.

[somedude81]

Thanks for you insight Elswyth, it really has been helpful.

Mayhaps. It's hard to know without knowing you personally.

 

Most likely she just thought (wrongly), "Whew, since everything's cleared up now, we can be free to be close friends." Regardless, you cannot blame a girl who says, "No, I don't want to date you" as leading you on. YOU made the choice to continue befriending her after the rejection. Of course she would want to continue being friends. She's not the one having an unrequited crush.

Here's a sentence from the email she sent me at the end of last year.

 

"I did enjoy your company. However, I also felt that you still wanted to be more than friends even though I had twice expressed that I did not want to be."

 

I find it curious that she "felt," that I wanted to be more than friends. It's almost like she expected me to just turn off my interest in her after she rejected me, like I'm a robot. Also, it wasn't obvious to her that I was still interested in her. For the last two months of the semester, I thought I was making it plain as day that I was into her.

 

So I think you're right. She may have consciously believed that everything was over, so she was fine with hanging out with me. But somewhere inside, she "felt" that I wanted more, and yet she still came to my house?

 

See, this is a good thing. Would you rather she have accepted you just because she was desperate despite lack of interest on her part?

No comment

 

Some people just get attracted easily and some don't. Really, if there was a foolproof way to determine this, this forum wouldn't even exist. I have been attracted to maybe 5 guys in my entire life. I am just incredibly lucky that 3 of them so far have reciprocated.

Woah, only 5 guys? I've had hardcore crushes like this on about 20 girls. Considering I started liking girls when I was 13, that's 1.2 girls a year. Yeah you are lucky to have 3 of the 5 reciprocate. If I had that ratio, that would have meant that 12 of the 20 reciprocated, instead of the 0 out of 20 that I got.

 

I really do wonder how many guys she has been attracted to, if any. I'm still amazed that the number of guys you've been interested in is so low. What was it about those guys that made them stand out?

 

I feel for you, I really do. I know it's incredibly, incredibly difficult to find someone whom you feel chemistry for and who likes you back, who is a decent person in all aspects and compatible with you in most. That's why I don't buy the 'plenty of fish' ideology - for some of us, there ISN'T plenty of edible and catchable fish in the sea.

 

I really think you've yet to find your niche, or there are some things about yourself that you could work on. I wouldn't know what exactly, until I've met you in person. Just... the way to do it isn't to bug a girl who already said 'no' until she issues a restraining order on you. Okay?

Thank you. And yeah, I won't be so persistent going for girls who've already rejected me.

[Els]

I am far, far too lazy to read this thread but I'll just throw in my two cents (or perhaps you'd rather have my 1.67 Yen instead).

 

I am a geek (but a finance/tech geek who likes cooking/video games/music/language/art/computers/reading/writing/blahblah) and so is my girlfriend. So I may have some experience with answering this question.

 

The problem I've noticed is twofold:

 

1. Geek girls tend to get pursued by geeky guys. Geeky guys usually can't take a hint and continue to pursue even when it's obvious as day that the girl isn't interested.

 

2. Many geeky guys usually do nothing BUT geek out and completely fail at doing/talking about anything else. Geeky girls might love playing a computer game often, but they usually do more than just that. Too many geeky guys I know do nothing but whore WoW all day and expect a girl to be okay with that kind of relationship.

 

I mean, believe me -- I'm a huge, huge nerd. You name it, I've played it, beaten it, mastered it, etc. But I also know when to call it a night and spend time doing something fun that doesn't involve computer/console games. You still need to have a functional social life at the end of the day and be able to hold a normal conversation.

 

3. Too many nerdy guys fawn over nerdy girls and come across as a bit creepy/stalkerish/desperate/whatever.

 

4. I feel like the real issue here isn't "nerdy girls" in general but "hot nerdy girls." They're really after a hot girl just like everyone else... but with the added bonus of similar interests (and therefore a perceived "easy in" to getting a hot girl over a "jock type"). The problem is that geeky guys feel this sort of "entitlement" where "a geeky girl SHOULD like me because I, too, am geeky" and this usually results in nothing but downhill progression.

 

 

I completely, completely agree with everything said here, especially the bolded.

[Els]

So I think you're right. She may have consciously believed that everything was over, so she was fine with hanging out with me. But somewhere inside, she "felt" that I wanted more, and yet she still came to my house?

 

Plenty of possible reasons. Maybe she enjoys the attention. Maybe she really is that naive. I've been in a few platonic guy friends' houses, but then I was pretty certain there was nothing between us.

 

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Oh, dear. :/

 

Woah, only 5 guys? I've had hardcore crushes like this on about 20 girls. Considering I started liking girls when I was 13, that's 1.2 girls a year. Yeah you are lucky to have 3 of the 5 reciprocate. If I had that ratio, that would have meant that 12 of the 20 reciprocated, instead of the 0 out of 20 that I got.

Well, I say 'lucky', and there is definitely an element of luck in it, seeing as 2 of the guys who reciprocated were from the same group of friends in my university, even - not at the same time, of course (fortunately such things aren't frowned upon much in my culture). However, I daresay it is also because the type of guys I am interested in, are the ones more likely to be interested in me as well, due to similar personality traits. I found my 'niche', so to speak.

 

Also, I have counted probably only 5 guys who were clearly interested in me, with a few other 'suspects' - a much lower number than the average woman, I would say. It doesn't bother me, but it does equalize things a little. Then again, I don't count the typical player who goes around asking every vagina-equipped human he sees out, so I could be underestimating a little.

 

I really do wonder how many guys she has been attracted to, if any. I'm still amazed that the number of guys you've been interested in is so low. What was it about those guys that made them stand out?

Perhaps I'm just out of the norm, I don't know. Extreme intelligence and wit of a particular type was probably the deciding factor, as well as a compatible personality in certain aspects. It's hard to describe, but if you actually met the 5 guys, I think you'd get it. There are significant similarities - and they are all considered 'eccentric' or 'different' by mainstream society to a degree.

 

Also, I did not meet a single guy I was interested in til I was 16 (that guy was my first unrequited crush).

 

Thank you. And yeah, I won't be so persistent going for girls who've already rejected me.

No problem. I certainly hope you keep your word. Edited January 8, 2011 by Elswyth