How come it's not easy to get geek girls?

[january2010]

One thing I've wondered is what kind of guys, the geeky girls actually want? Do they prefer the pretty boy jocks or would they be happy with somebody who likes the same things they do and are similar in looks.

 

Had the geeky jock wordsmith and all the rest in two guys. One ended up being an LTR and one ended up being a fling.

 

As far as wants/ideals and successful relationships go, I think that it takes more than just generic stereotypes.

[GoodOnPaper]

BTW, back when I was a 'geek' (had the pocket protector to prove it), geeky girls I knew were into the sciences like chemistry, physics, computers and mathematics, yet they never talked about them with geeky guys. They were too busy swooning over the jocks, like the rest of the 'girls'.

 

I second this ^^^^^. At least that was true in the late '80s/early '90s. It really threw me, especially in grad school -- I thought a geek girl and I would be a great match, but those girls were far more interested in opposites-attract relationships. I ended up with a non-geek girl by default.

 

Looking back earlier to college and high school, I think the following kind of thing came into play without me realizing it:

 

First of all, as a geek girl, I'm mostly only attracted to geek guys, which can be a bad combination (like people said) because I'm too shy to flirt and geek guys are too shy to ask me out, so sometimes nothing happens where there would otherwise be a relationship possibly.

 

Now, with science and technology being more mainstream, it's astounding how many more geek girls there seems to be -- it definitely makes me wish I was 20 years younger.

[Els]

Secondly, we're not that hard to get at all. D= In fact, a lot of us are so insecure (me included), that we'd date the majority of the men we meet. We aren't picky, so I have no idea where you are getting this from, unless you're talking about girls who play video games who have the appearance of Megan Fox or something. Those girls aren't geek girls. I'm a geek girl. I wear glasses, I'm shy, and I definitely don't look like Megan Fox. Hot girls who play video games are in high demand among men and if they are being picky about not dating you, that's why.

 

I second this completely. I find that for the majority of younger guys who play games, when they say they want a girl with 'similar interests', they mean 'a hot girl who plays video games sometimes'. They don't want someone to share their degree of passion and the depth of their interests... they just want the 'hot girl' that most of their peers want, with the added bonus of her being an occasional gamer.

 

You guys better believe me this - I do know a few women with a deep passion for 'geeky' stuff, and none of them look anywhere close to the 'hot' stereotype. There really is a very logical reason for this. 'Hotness', as much as any other skill, is something you need to put time and effort into. You would be very surprised at how much time, money, and effort the typical beauty queen spends on shopping, daily beauty care and styling/makeup. This is not a personality trait of a true geek. To be one, you have to prefer to do 'geek stuff' over shopping and manicuring... just as for a male, you have to prefer to do 'geek stuff' over sports or clubbing or cars... otherwise you aren't reeeealllyy a geek!

 

Fortunately, some men truly do appreciate the 'geek factor' more than just harboring a fantasy for 'TossGirl' (whom, I'm sorry to say, is really only famous for her looks), so the abovementioned women and I have found partners through our 'geekdom'. Those guys are true, average-looking 'geeks' in every sense of the word, exceedingly intelligent, and wonderful men besides. Wouldn't trade mine for any jock around.

 

Thirdly, like someone else said . . . . . . geek guys tend to ONLY talk about their hobbies (D&D, Magic, World of Warcraft, video games, whatever.) I can talk about those things a whole lot, but it's never going to be the ONLY thing I talk about, so the fact that geek girls are able to talk about other things sometimes (which geek guys struggle with) is why we don't talk about it as much as you. To talk to most girls, you need to be able to talk or at least listen to more of a variety of subjects than that. And geek girls like me (and someone else in this thread I think), don't want to just talk about hobbies. If we're intellectual, then we'd really like talking to you about academic stuff too. In fact, I like talking about all these three areas equally. I get sad if I'm dating someone who can't talk about all three different things with me.

This, too. I honestly think men are more prone to video game addiction and the development of a one-track mindset than women. This is also why a good 'geek' guy isn't that easy to find - I want someone who shares my interests, not an addict who skips school to play 20 hours a day and can't talk about or do anything else! Just because your passion is gaming, doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to indulge in some 'date nights' of romance, strolls in the park, dinners and sex. Edited January 3, 2011 by Elswyth

[Els]

OP disappeared. As expected.

[Eeyore79]

One thing I've wondered is what kind of guys, the geeky girls actually want? Do they prefer the pretty boy jocks or would they be happy with somebody who likes the same things they do and are similar in looks.

 

I would class myself as a geeky girl. The pretty boy jocks turn me off completely; I want a geeky kind of guy. He still has to be handsome though; geeks (male or female) can still be pretty!

[Titania22]

The other thing I've noticed is the girls who are into the things I mentioned above don't talk about them as much as the guys and are not as enthusiastic about them either. Why?

 

Just because I like playing computer games, doesn't mean I obsess about them and want to talk about them all the time. I think about them while I am playing them and that's pretty much it.

[irc333]

Being a Geek and Sci-Fi guy myself....I'm privy to some info. Apparently, if you see a bunch of geek guys sitting at the back of a comic shop doing some gaming (strategy, Magic the Gathering, etc)

 

And ONE girl wants to try out some gaming either

 

1. All the nerds drool over here, do creepy things around her to make her feel uncomfortable

 

2. She probably won't join in the events BY herself with all the men around

 

3. Women have attempted #1, abut have been eventually chased off

 

4. They KNOW they're in demand, because VERY RARELy women are into the same kind of nerdy crap that men are into (at least the girls that weigh less than 200 lbs)....and if they are even moderately cute....geek guys will be fawning over the "Dream girl that they ever wanted to play video games and go to Conventions dressed in her hot little Slaev Leah outfit....I mean, wouldn't the PERFECT girl for a geek guy, is dating a "Slave Leah"? LOL

 

With all this swimming around in this guy's head....she KNOWS that...esp. if she's at a convention in some hottie Super Girl outfit.....that men will be following her around....

 

I mean, who wants to date a chick that's into shopping, buying shoes, and watching Sex in the City all the time? LOL

 

Also MOST women are REPULSED by such activities as video games and Sci-fi and the geek girls know this, too....this compounds the challenge. LOL

 

 

 

Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying they should be easy in that sense. But you would think that the girls who like video games, comics, anime, etc would be easier to talk to and date or even just be friends with because guys can easily find common interests with them. But they're just as difficult as all the other girls. The other thing I've noticed is the girls who are into the things I mentioned above don't talk about them as much as the guys and are not as enthusiastic about them either. Why? Somebody told me it's because if they do, then geek guys will hit on them because they're easy to talk to. Is this true?

[irc333]

'Common interests' in conversation are, generally, 99% relationships, gossip and family problems and 1% 'interests'.

 

So answer me this, why are female "hawg" riders insisting that they only date other "Hawg" riders?

[irc333]

While we're here....TRIBUTE to Geeks and Gamer Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Seth Green rocks out in this one

 

The Spiderman Back-up dancer is the BEST dancer. ;-0

 

This video just reinforces the their demand and would probably encourage geek guys to double their efforts in their mission to obtain their counter-part. lol

Edited January 5, 2011 by irc333

[january2011]

I mean, who wants to date a chick that's into shopping, buying shoes, and watching Sex in the City all the time? LOL

 

In my experience, geek guys might want the geek chick but they don't want her to look like the geek chick, they want her to look like the hot chick. As evidenced by that video you posted.

[irc333]

In my experience, geek guys might want the geek chick but they don't want her to look like the geek chick, they want her to look like the hot chick. As evidenced by that video you posted.

 

 

That helps,too. lol And believe me, I've seen attractive geek girls that make geek guys turn heads.

 

But, I've seen my share of geek girls/guys that smell funny, too.

[kalyn]

I consider myself a geek girl...well, more of a semi-geek girl these days. I love gaming, both PC and 360, I can build you a computer from parts or fix your old one. I watch sci-fi and have been to Dragon Con several times, in costume, natch. But I also love to travel, rock climb, watch football and hockey, and I am a licensed skydiver. I take care of my appearance and my body, which to some people makes me "less" of a geek or a nerd. The hardest part for me was finding a man that was as diverse in his interests as I am. I wanted a geek guy that still wasn't afraid to do outdoor activities, or ride roller coasters, and would enjoy going to a game with me.

 

One thing I have seen in my experience is that most geeky guys are almost stuck in a rut. They think that's it's ok to just sit around and play games all the time, to get fat and not work out, to never go out and make an effort. And unless you DO want the 200+ lb nerdgirl that wears sweatpants, that is never going to attract a woman. Neither is sole focus on only one or two interests. I have a large group of geeky friends, almost all of them would be considered attractive or they at least put effort into themselves. We also make an effort to go out and be social. Several of us are on a bowling league, others compete in target shooting events, and we all go to conventions and have a blast. There is nothing wrong with being a geek and still making time for other things and people!

[irc333]

Hm....you a member of the WPE?

 

I consider myself a geek girl...well, more of a semi-geek girl these days. I love gaming, both PC and 360, I can build you a computer from parts or fix your old one. I watch sci-fi and have been to Dragon Con several times, in costume, natch. But I also love to travel, rock climb, watch football and hockey, and I am a licensed skydiver. I take care of my appearance and my body, which to some people makes me "less" of a geek or a nerd. The hardest part for me was finding a man that was as diverse in his interests as I am. I wanted a geek guy that still wasn't afraid to do outdoor activities, or ride roller coasters, and would enjoy going to a game with me.

 

One thing I have seen in my experience is that most geeky guys are almost stuck in a rut. They think that's it's ok to just sit around and play games all the time, to get fat and not work out, to never go out and make an effort. And unless you DO want the 200+ lb nerdgirl that wears sweatpants, that is never going to attract a woman. Neither is sole focus on only one or two interests. I have a large group of geeky friends, almost all of them would be considered attractive or they at least put effort into themselves. We also make an effort to go out and be social. Several of us are on a bowling league, others compete in target shooting events, and we all go to conventions and have a blast. There is nothing wrong with being a geek and still making time for other things and people!

[irc333]

You should watch this, too....it's about a couple of socially inept geeks that invite "Women Only" to their Dungeons and Dragons game

 

I get a kick out of the name he picks for her character. LOL

 

It's called

 

(How appropriate, lol)

[kalyn]

Hm....you a member of the WPE?

 

No, but I have a few friends in FL who are.

[In The Green]

You should watch this, too....it's about a couple of socially inept geeks that invite "Women Only" to their Dungeons and Dragons game

 

I get a kick out of the name he picks for her character. LOL

 

It's called

 

(How appropriate, lol)

 

The original video is one of my favorites on the entire web. I also love the sequels they made to it. BERSERKER RAGE!

[welikeincrowds]

I'm going to be a little general here, because there's a lot to this topic that has to do with how certain people will idealize the "geek girl," and what that phrase really means. But I think what I'm about to say is still important, like I always do.

 

You will have similar challenges speaking to someone who shares an interest of yours as you would with someone who doesn't, because, still, you have to express yourself. It might be easier to express yourself with someone who shares your interest, because they might have had nearly the same experience, and can finish your thought for you. But you also have to get that thought 80% of the way there. And that's assuming they had the same experience. The idea is that you derive satisfying emotions out of the hobby, and really, anyone can relate to the emotion, even if they haven't tried the hobby. You might be able to get more nuanced in the subject if they're familiar, but it still has to be interesting to the both of you. Someone within the hobby just as well might never have had the same emotional experience. It's all part of being a good conversationalist, and having shared taste.

 

For example: most people don't care about letters like I do. I derive pleasure or bitterness from looking at printed matter that others can't relate to. But they can relate to feeling satisfied by beauty, or with solving a problem cleverly and succeeding, or with inspiration. And since they live in a society where media is everywhere, they might relate to the curiosity of how that media affects them in ways they (apparently) don't even realize.

 

Similarly, they don't care about video games like I do. But they might care about that time when I was 16, when I traveled across the country to play them with near strangers from all over the world to try and win money, because they can relate to the bewilderment, courage, and passion, as well as their own transient relationship to society under new media.

 

You can be talking to someone who loves clothes, but you realize they don't get same satisfaction out of black on black and slim silhouettes that you do, and must love clothes for other reasons, and suddenly you're struggling with the conversation. Or you can be talking to a gamer who just "plays for fun" (wtf), and you can feel that you're on two different sides of the same ocean. Because it's not the interest, it's the emotional experience. You feel me?

Edited January 5, 2011 by welikeincrowds

[irc333]

Good point...I wonder if this ties in somewhere where I have noticed CERTAIN hobbiest people in a particular hobby.

 

 

For instacne, people who "ride" (Harley Davidsons...or just motor cycles)....some won't date someone else unless they ride a motorcycle

 

I have noticed this same trend with people are into riding horses...there's paricluar hobbies that are more lifestyles?

 

 

 

I'm going to be a little general here, because there's a lot to this topic that has to do with how certain people will idealize the "geek girl," and what that phrase really means. But I think what I'm about to say is still important, like I always do.

 

You will have similar challenges speaking to someone who shares an interest of yours as you would with someone who doesn't, because, still, you have to express yourself. It might be easier to express yourself with someone who shares your interest, because they might have had nearly the same experience, and can finish your thought for you. But you also have to get that thought 80% of the way there. And that's assuming they had the same experience. The idea is that you derive satisfying emotions out of the hobby, and really, anyone can relate to the emotion, even if they haven't tried the hobby. You might be able to get more nuanced in the subject if they're familiar, but it still has to be interesting to the both of you. Someone within the hobby just as well might never have had the same emotional experience. It's all part of being a good conversationalist, and having shared taste.

 

For example: most people don't care about letters like I do. I derive pleasure or bitterness from looking at printed matter that others can't relate to. But they can relate to feeling satisfied by beauty, or with solving a problem cleverly and succeeding, or with inspiration. And since they live in a society where media is everywhere, they might relate to the curiosity of how that media affects them in ways they (apparently) don't even realize.

 

Similarly, they don't care about video games like I do. But they might care about that time when I was 16, when I traveled across the country to play them with near strangers from all over the world to try and win money, because they can relate to the bewilderment, courage, and passion, as well as their own transient relationship to society under new media.

 

You can be talking to someone who loves clothes, but you realize they don't get same satisfaction out of black on black and slim silhouettes that you do, and must love clothes for other reasons, and suddenly you're struggling with the conversation. Or you can be talking to a gamer who just "plays for fun" (wtf), and you can feel that you're on two different sides of the same ocean. Because it's not the interest, it's the emotional experience. You feel me?

[In The Green]

Echoing off what Welikeincrowds said, I'm reminded of this quote of Tom's little sister from the movie 300 Days of Summer:

 

"Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate."

[fishtaco]

You should watch this, too....it's about a couple of socially inept geeks that invite "Women Only" to their Dungeons and Dragons game

 

I get a kick out of the name he picks for her character. LOL

 

It's called

 

(How appropriate, lol)

 

LOL, thank you, I was thoroughly entertained by that.

[somedude81]

I would class myself as a geeky girl. The pretty boy jocks turn me off completely; I want a geeky kind of guy. He still has to be handsome though; geeks (male or female) can still be pretty!

Uh, handsome and geeky? I'll let the next quote fallow that up.

In my experience, geek guys might want the geek chick but they don't want her to look like the geek chick, they want her to look like the hot chick. As evidenced by that video you posted.

As an average dude with geeky interests, I'll be more than happy with an average looking girl with geeky interests. Of course a hot girl with a geek side would be preferred, just like Eeyore wants a handsome geeky guy.

 

The girl I had a huge crush on last semester was very geeky and she put in just about zero effort into her appearance. Even without makeup or good hair and clothes, she was still a cute girl. She was also fairly awkward but fun to be with. Still, I would have loved to date her, if only she would have let me.

 

I just wish I knew how to actually attract a geeky girl for when I meet another one.

[jamesparker]

Hi folks I am new at here.I am dating with some Asian guys and I am enjoying with her.She is so cute and adjustable.I followed some techniques for successful dating.Some of them what is the Girl's psychology?

What is think about boys?

What they like?.....that......that.etc

I must more techniques from alpha Asian

If somebody have any more experience then reply thread.

[Els]

Echoing off what Welikeincrowds said, I'm reminded of this quote of Tom's little sister from the movie 300 Days of Summer:

 

"Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate."

 

There are several reasons why it's easier to relate to someone who shares your interests. Not foolproof, but easier.

 

1) Certain hobbies attract certain personality types and traits.

 

2) You have more stuff to do together. I honestly don't quite know what the macho guy-guys and girly girl-girls do in their time together, aside from dates, sex, and cuddling. You won't even like the same TV shows, for chrissakes.

[Mark11]

OP disappeared. As expected.

 

I no, I'm still here. I'm just sitting back reading everyone's responses.

[Eeyore79]

As an average dude with geeky interests, I'll be more than happy with an average looking girl with geeky interests. Of course a hot girl with a geek side would be preferred, just like Eeyore wants a handsome geeky guy.

 

I'm not saying he has to be utterly gorgeous; if he was geeky and fairly average looking I'd still be happy, as long as I thought he was cute. What I mean is, he has to look decent and acceptable. A lot of geeky guys are obese, have dandruff, greasy hair, bad skin, bad teeth, no dress sense, jam jar bottom glasses - if a guy is ugly then I'm not going to date him no matter how much we have in common. If a guy is average, clean, normal weight, makes an effort to look decent, then I'll probably find him attractive if he has a nice personality.