How come it's not easy to get geek girls?

[Mark11]

Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying they should be easy in that sense. But you would think that the girls who like video games, comics, anime, etc would be easier to talk to and date or even just be friends with because guys can easily find common interests with them. But they're just as difficult as all the other girls. The other thing I've noticed is the girls who are into the things I mentioned above don't talk about them as much as the guys and are not as enthusiastic about them either. Why? Somebody told me it's because if they do, then geek guys will hit on them because they're easy to talk to. Is this true?

[pookster72]

they're probably just not as social and therefore not as interested in talking to people in general

[ivalm]

Indeed, geek guys have hard time socializing which is why they aren't scoring with girls (note, most guys DO get girls, that's why human species still exist). Similarly, geek girls often have hard time socializing which is why it makes difficult to score with them. Anyways, my thoughts.

[fishtaco]

That would be my guess too. Although I never tried to date geek girls.

 

Men or women, it's always more difficult to date someone that's not socially skilled. They don't get the cues and hints, and don't know how to respond properly, regardless of their interest level in you. It's like you go "Marco!", expecting a "Polo!", but all you hear is crickets. So you either keep yelling "Marco" and risk looking like you're crazy, or you go find someone else that knows the game.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

So-called "Geek" girls tend to be more analytical instead of less analytical than their Britney Spears-esque counterparts. For that reason the "geek" girls will be picking-apart your flaws while the Britney Spears-esque ones may at least bang you first and then let you unravel after that.

 

The "geek" girls can either pick you apart or pick themselves apart in an effort to devise a reason not to pursue anything with you.

[carhill]

How come it's not easy to get geek girls?

'Cause they're 'girls' first and 'geeks' second, hence, absent universal hotness, they will never be 'easy' to get. As was mentioned, if 'geekiness' aligns with 'socially unskilled', then 'easy' becomes the fodder of crack-pipe dreams. Throw a geeky guy into the mix and one has the recipe for romance never even emerging from the dugout. BTDT.

 

'Common interests' in conversation are, generally, 99% relationships, gossip and family problems and 1% 'interests'. I've gleaned this perspective from a lifetime of being a girlfriend with a penis. I occasionally still chatter with women just to keep current on everything *but* interests. Works wonderfully

 

BTW, back when I was a 'geek' (had the pocket protector to prove it), geeky girls I knew were into the sciences like chemistry, physics, computers and mathematics, yet they never talked about them with geeky guys. They were too busy swooning over the jocks, like the rest of the 'girls'.

[fishtaco]

'Common interests' in conversation are, generally, 99% relationships, gossip and family problems and 1% 'interests'.

 

Very insightful. After reading this, I thought back to all the conversations I've had with women, as in friends, dates, love interests, or whatever, and this is true.

[zengirl]

Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying they should be easy in that sense. But you would think that the girls who like video games, comics, anime, etc would be easier to talk to and date or even just be friends with because guys can easily find common interests with them. But they're just as difficult as all the other girls. The other thing I've noticed is the girls who are into the things I mentioned above don't talk about them as much as the guys and are not as enthusiastic about them either. Why? Somebody told me it's because if they do, then geek guys will hit on them because they're easy to talk to. Is this true?

 

It's less socially acceptable for girls to talk about these things, so they might not in general company, especially if they're younger. Of course, it's kind of weird and antisocial to talk about only one topic (no matter what it is) as though you have no life outside of that. . . most people I associate with have a variety of things to talk about. And young girls, especially, are more likely to cave into social pressures in this manner.

 

I don't understand your last question.

 

My boyfriend and I talk about those things. I guess I'm a 'geek' girl of that nature (also science, etc, like carhill mentions). I've always been told I'm easy to talk to by those who got to know me, but I'm sure if a man I wasn't interested in came up, and was clearly interested in me, they'd find me anything but easy to talk to! Also, many so-called 'geek' girls are introverted (not me, but loads of my friends), as are many nerdy guys, and two introverts often have trouble getting to know each other, I find. I have a lot of introverted friends who are very grateful for how outgoing and sociable I am, because I get them out and about a bit. Also a very introverted boyfriend.

 

'Common interests' in conversation are, generally, 99% relationships, gossip and family problems and 1% 'interests'. I've gleaned this perspective from a lifetime of being a girlfriend with a penis. I occasionally still chatter with women just to keep current on everything *but* interests. Works wonderfully

 

Weird assessment to me.

 

My boyfriend and I (and for that matter, my friends and I) talk about movies, TV shows, news, politics, comics, and other interests way more than family problems, etc, in terms of time spent. The only thing I talk more about than interests would maybe be work, but I consider that an interest since I love my work.

[carhill]

Accurate assessment to me. You bang your boyfriend. The dynamic is also driven by what he is willing to listen to, and, typical of most men, that's a pretty defined list. I won't name names but I can give two examples of well-known LS'ers who exemplify this assessment right now, today, in real life. They add to the long line of anecdotes upon which I predicate the assessment.

[Els]

Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not saying they should be easy in that sense. But you would think that the girls who like video games, comics, anime, etc would be easier to talk to and date or even just be friends with because guys can easily find common interests with them. But they're just as difficult as all the other girls. The other thing I've noticed is the girls who are into the things I mentioned above don't talk about them as much as the guys and are not as enthusiastic about them either. Why? Somebody told me it's because if they do, then geek guys will hit on them because they're easy to talk to. Is this true?

 

To be honest, your title set off my troll-dar, but your post does sorta make sense.

 

I think part of the reason is the natural instinct of all women to protect themselves against desperate stalkers. 'Geek' guys, more so than many other type of guys, often tend to fit the bill for that because they rarely even know any women, so ANY woman who treats them well and gives them the time of the day... well, guess what they think? By golly, this must be my golden opportunity so I'll give it every ounce of my strength! Those who are themselves absent social skills will then interpret 'every ounce of my strength' as 'become a crazy obsessive stalker who won't take no for an answer til she shoves her boyfriend in my face'.

 

Those are by no means how ALL 'geek guys' act, but as a woman in the community myself, I can assure you that that is how a scarily large proportion of them act.

 

'Cause they're 'girls' first and 'geeks' second, hence, absent universal hotness, they will never be 'easy' to get. As was mentioned, if 'geekiness' aligns with 'socially unskilled', then 'easy' becomes the fodder of crack-pipe dreams. Throw a geeky guy into the mix and one has the recipe for romance never even emerging from the dugout. BTDT.

 

'Common interests' in conversation are, generally, 99% relationships, gossip and family problems and 1% 'interests'. I've gleaned this perspective from a lifetime of being a girlfriend with a penis. I occasionally still chatter with women just to keep current on everything *but* interests. Works wonderfully

 

BTW, back when I was a 'geek' (had the pocket protector to prove it), geeky girls I knew were into the sciences like chemistry, physics, computers and mathematics, yet they never talked about them with geeky guys. They were too busy swooning over the jocks, like the rest of the 'girls'.

 

Carhill, while I love you and your posts dearly, I really must beg to differ. 'Jocks' never did it for me. Am currently with a wonderful geek guy, and all my exes were as such as well.

[somedude81]

Ah geek girls. A met a great geek girl last year in my Japanese class. We had so many things in common it was really cool and we got along great.

 

And of course she didn't like me

 

She was basically like the perfect girl for me and I had no clue whatsoever why she didn't like me. We would have been great together

 

One thing I realized, is that girls who like guy things and don't like "girly" things may have their own issues, and those issues might affect whether or not they date. The girl I'm talking about is 21, has been single for the full year I've known her and probably never had a boyfriend. She also dressed in a way that hid her sexuality. I don't know if it was done on purpose or not. She also mentioned being uncomfortable with affectionate touching, not liking to be hugged.

Edited January 3, 2011 by somedude81

[U1987]

 

Carhill, while I love you and your posts dearly, I really must beg to differ. 'Jocks' never did it for me. Am currently with a wonderful geek guy, and all my exes were as such as well.

 

Is this guy REALLY a geek? Because I've seen girls call meat head guidos and Ralph-Lauren-model-perfect guys "geeks."

 

Does he like Cowboy Bebop? Metal Gear Solid? Does he know the quickest and easiest way to agro and build up a mana pool? Will he know how to use the windup monkey in Call of Duty? Will he know what I mean if I say "It's a trap!"

[carhill]

 

 

Carhill, while I love you and your posts dearly, I really must beg to differ. 'Jocks' never did it for me. Am currently with a wonderful geek guy, and all my exes were as such as well.

I was merely reflecting upon my high school years in the 1970's in a private school. I had a blast being a geek but the reality was that the geeks didn't get laid, pardon my French. The geek girls looked right through me (as an example) at the rich (remember, private school) and popular guys. Perhaps times have changed. I do know I'd go to jail now for what I used to do in school back then

[Mark11]

To be honest, your title set off my troll-dar, but your post does sorta make sense.

 

I think part of the reason is the natural instinct of all women to protect themselves against desperate stalkers. 'Geek' guys, more so than many other type of guys, often tend to fit the bill for that because they rarely even know any women, so ANY woman who treats them well and gives them the time of the day... well, guess what they think? By golly, this must be my golden opportunity so I'll give it every ounce of my strength! Those who are themselves absent social skills will then interpret 'every ounce of my strength' as 'become a crazy obsessive stalker who won't take no for an answer til she shoves her boyfriend in my face'.

 

Those are by no means how ALL 'geek guys' act, but as a woman in the community myself, I can assure you that that is how a scarily large proportion of them act.

 

Troll-dar. LOL. That was a good one. I'm using that one in the future. But you make a good point, and well articulated too. I'm not a desperate stalker and never have been, but aside from that I have been guilty of being like what you described. I don't have that many female friends and in the past whenever a met a cute girl that was even a little bit nice to me or would talk to me even a little bit, I would try to talk to her. But I definitely knew no meant no.

[Els]

One thing I realized, is that girls who like guy things and don't like "girly" things may have their own issues, and those issues might affect whether or not they date. The girl I'm talking about is 21, has been single for the full year I've known her and probably never had a boyfriend. She also dressed in a way that hid her sexuality. I don't know if it was done on purpose or not. She also mentioned being uncomfortable with affectionate touching, not liking to be hugged.

 

To be fair, this is true for some and not for others. Do not bring this assumption into relations with other girls who have 'male' interests. I dress the same for very casual stuff (grocery shopping etc), but that's really because I find it impossible to dress any more comfortably than baggy tees and shorts. I've tried all the stuff women touted to be 'comfortable' - tank tops, summer dresses, sweaters, etc... none of them even hold a candle to those. Except maybe certain cotton nightgowns - which I can't possibly wear in public.

 

Is this guy REALLY a geek? Because I've seen girls call meat head guidos and Ralph-Lauren-model-perfect guys "geeks."

 

Does he like Cowboy Bebop? Metal Gear Solid? Does he know the quickest and easiest way to agro and build up a mana pool? Will he know how to use the windup monkey in Call of Duty? Will he know what I mean if I say "It's a trap!"

 

Fellow can assemble a gaming rig from scratch, micro 5 heroes at once and used to play certain games at tourney level. We both hate CoD though. And frankly, in WotLK, getting aggro quickly was a joke that took 5 minutes of reading to accomplish.

 

I was merely reflecting upon my high school years in the 1970's in a private school. I had a blast being a geek but the reality was that the geeks didn't get laid, pardon my French. The geek girls looked right through me (as an example) at the rich (remember, private school) and popular guys. Perhaps times have changed. I do know I'd go to jail now for what I used to do in school back then

 

I think this double standard sadly exists for both 'geek' guys and girls. Aside from the despo stalkers, I also know plenty of 'geek' guys who set their sights solely on the 'hot' girl who shared no interests with them, overlooking the girl who games with them.

 

Troll-dar. LOL. That was a good one. I'm using that one in the future. But you make a good point, and well articulated too. I'm not a desperate stalker and never have been, but aside from that I have been guilty of being like what you described. I don't have that many female friends and in the past whenever a met a cute girl that was even a little bit nice to me or would talk to me even a little bit, I would try to talk to her. But I definitely knew no meant no.

 

I think this is perfectly fine, really. You should never assume that trying to talk to girls is wrong, and any girl who considers you in the wrong for that is a bitch, plain and simple. As long as you respect 'no' and boundaries, I think you're doing fine.

Edited January 3, 2011 by Elswyth

[zengirl]

Accurate assessment to me. You bang your boyfriend. The dynamic is also driven by what he is willing to listen to, and, typical of most men, that's a pretty defined list. I won't name names but I can give two examples of well-known LS'ers who exemplify this assessment right now, today, in real life. They add to the long line of anecdotes upon which I predicate the assessment.

 

I think the idea that girls just like to talk about relationships and feelings, which is what I said was a weird assessment, is based on a narrow subset of women.

 

As far as what my BF is willing to listen to, that's basically anything. And I have many of the same conversations with him, as I do with many friends (male and female) who I don't bang.

 

I think people spend more than 1% of their time talking about interests, if they actually have any. Now, plenty of people are uninteresting and lack interests. That's a different story.

[Yer_Blues]

I think the idea that girls just like to talk about relationships and feelings, which is what I said was a weird assessment, is based on a narrow subset of women.

 

As far as what my BF is willing to listen to, that's basically anything. And I have many of the same conversations with him, as I do with many friends (male and female) who I don't bang.

 

I think people spend more than 1% of their time talking about interests, if they actually have any. Now, plenty of people are uninteresting and lack interests. That's a different story.

I don't know whose asessment is more accurate, but I personally want to be able to interact with a female like a human being. If she's a glorified hormone stream with a vagina, I don't really feel as if that meets the standard. I want to be able to talk to women about just about anything I'd talk to men about. I would value having common interests and being able to discuss them, and I can think of examples of this with some female friends.

[carhill]

I think the idea that girls just like to talk about relationships and feelings, which is what I said was a weird assessment, is based on a narrow subset of women.

 

Essentially, you think I'm weird, and call me such on an open forum. Antithetically, I'm supporting my position with real interactions. Naming names will get me moderated, but it's clear the differences between us are immense. I'll never call you or your assessments weird. Publicly.

 

Good bye

[zengirl]

Essentially, you think I'm weird, and call me such on an open forum. Antithetically, I'm supporting my position with real interactions. Naming names will get me moderated, but it's clear the differences between us are immense. I'll never call you or your assessments weird. Publicly.

 

Good bye

 

I'd never claim to say that 99% of conversations with any one group as broad as gender (or race, nationality, etc) were dedicated to specific things, so yes, there are immense differences.

[carhill]

I respect the differences. You denigrate and attack personally. This is where we differ markedly.

Edited January 3, 2011 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Crazy Magnet]

I think my interactions with geeky guys have changed and evolved over the years. For the record, I am about as geeky as a girl could get (love of science, WoW, Lord of the Rings fanatic, dress up at comic conventions and Renaissance faires, comics, etc).

 

In HS, eons ago, I would often be the only girl who would talk to the "geeky" guys in school. We were in band, drama, choir, and all those AP classes together so it was natural for me to make friends with them, especially b/c they were into the things I was into. Unfortunately, most of them did the previously described "stalker" type thing. It sort of waned when I finally did get a bf (a geek like me!) but it was very typical. That sort of behavior went on all the way through college.

 

The stalker thing stopped happening after college but when I started meeting new geeky people is when I started to notice the severe lack of social skills. I guess I didn't see it in HS because I had known the guys forever and I was pretty awkward myself.

 

At my age, while I prefer to find a guy with the same likes as me, I am in no mood to train him on how to have social interactions. I think there are certain social expectations of an adult and if a man doesn't have them, he's going to have a hard time getting a girl, geek or not.

 

I know plenty of couples who met at online gaming or who actively play, or dress up, or do other geeky things, but in every case the geeky guy has social skills. There are tons of girls who like geeky things, but it really boils down to who can socially relate to us in an age appropriate manner and who can't. I'm not going to go for a guy just b/c he's willing to tank for me. He's got to be able to converse with me while tanking.

[somedude81]

Not all guys who have geeky interests have poor social skills, same as not all geeky girls having poor social skills.

 

One thing I've wondered is what kind of guys, the geeky girls actually want? Do they prefer the pretty boy jocks or would they be happy with somebody who likes the same things they do and are similar in looks.

[dispatch3d]

To be honest, your title set off my troll-dar, but your post does sorta make sense.

 

I think part of the reason is the natural instinct of all women to protect themselves against desperate stalkers. 'Geek' guys, more so than many other type of guys, often tend to fit the bill for that because they rarely even know any women, so ANY woman who treats them well and gives them the time of the day... well, guess what they think? By golly, this must be my golden opportunity so I'll give it every ounce of my strength! Those who are themselves absent social skills will then interpret 'every ounce of my strength' as 'become a crazy obsessive stalker who won't take no for an answer til she shoves her boyfriend in my face'.

 

Those are by no means how ALL 'geek guys' act, but as a woman in the community myself, I can assure you that that is how a scarily large proportion of them act.

 

 

 

Carhill, while I love you and your posts dearly, I really must beg to differ. 'Jocks' never did it for me. Am currently with a wonderful geek guy, and all my exes were as such as well.

 

Yar, found me a troll!

[Enchanted Girl]

I didn't read all the other posts, but this is my perspective as a geek girl.

 

First of all, as a geek girl, I'm mostly only attracted to geek guys, which can be a bad combination (like people said) because I'm too shy to flirt and geek guys are too shy to ask me out, so sometimes nothing happens where there would otherwise be a relationship possibly.

 

Secondly, we're not that hard to get at all. D= In fact, a lot of us are so insecure (me included), that we'd date the majority of the men we meet. We aren't picky, so I have no idea where you are getting this from, unless you're talking about girls who play video games who have the appearance of Megan Fox or something. Those girls aren't geek girls. I'm a geek girl. I wear glasses, I'm shy, and I definitely don't look like Megan Fox. Hot girls who play video games are in high demand among men and if they are being picky about not dating you, that's why.

 

Thirdly, like someone else said . . . . . . geek guys tend to ONLY talk about their hobbies (D&D, Magic, World of Warcraft, video games, whatever.) I can talk about those things a whole lot, but it's never going to be the ONLY thing I talk about, so the fact that geek girls are able to talk about other things sometimes (which geek guys struggle with) is why we don't talk about it as much as you. To talk to most girls, you need to be able to talk or at least listen to more of a variety of subjects than that. And geek girls like me (and someone else in this thread I think), don't want to just talk about hobbies. If we're intellectual, then we'd really like talking to you about academic stuff too. In fact, I like talking about all these three areas equally. I get sad if I'm dating someone who can't talk about all three different things with me.

[Crazy Magnet]

Not all guys who have geeky interests have poor social skills, same as not all geeky girls having poor social skills.

 

One thing I've wondered is what kind of guys, the geeky girls actually want? Do they prefer the pretty boy jocks or would they be happy with somebody who likes the same things they do and are similar in looks.

 

 

I give bonus points for geeky behaviors. Otherwise, the jock boyfriend will just stare at me like a lunatic when I snuggle in for a Friday night with my computer.

 

Perhaps double bonus points if he will enchant stuff for me.