lechiffre1980 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Got a bit of a dilemma. Met this girl recently on a blind date and went out for a few drinks the other night. We got on really well but a few things bugged me (answering phone all the time, talking about ex-b/f's regularly). I didn't bother reacting to it on the date and just smiled and went with the flow. Traded SMS' afterwards and said that it would be good to catch up again with her at some stage and she agreed. Have been giving her a bit of space the past few days as she is studying for exams and haven't chatted other than a few SMS' on NYE. However, I've been thinking over her behaviour on the date and a few other observations and I am now leaning towards the fact that I am not as interested as I originally thought I might have been. And I'm not entirely sure that I am the sort of person that she is looking for, not in a sinister way or anything, as we talked about that a bit on the date. Was quite an open conversation and there were no awkward silences or anything. The gentleman in me says that I should keep to my word and take her out for dinner, give her another chance and see how it goes. The realist in me says that I might be best just leaving her go and perhaps just say that I think we should perhaps leave things go as I am not sure that I am the sort of person she is looking for (obviously not in a sinister way) and don't want to lead her on. Thoughts?
sweet sugar Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 How excited was she about the date? Because if I was really excited about a guy on a 1st date, I wouldn't check my phone a lot. If I were bored, and looking for other options for later in the evening after the date, I would keep checking my phone. But maybe that's just a bad habit. I suppose talking about the ex could be just nerves. If you were attracted to her, I don't think it could hurt to ask to go out again. Two dates isn't really leading anyone on, I dont' think.
Author lechiffre1980 Posted January 3, 2011 Author Posted January 3, 2011 Thanks for the response. Yeah, that's a fair point and something I usually consider. Dated another girl for about a month recently and even though it didn't work out in the end, she didn't touch her phone once during any of our early dates and her life didn't revolve around it (which is not always the case with other girls). That is usually quite a good sign I think. This girl had definitely gone to a lot of effort in getting dressed up so guess she was quite interested and she didn't seem aloof or anything. But at the same time, didn't have the phone on silent and she asked if I minded if she answered it. As for the ex-talk, if she mentioned it once or twice in passing conversation, I could deal with it, but there was lots of talk about the ex and other dates she'd been on. I am a big boy and can handle the nerves at the start (and I always try and help them to relax by cracking jokes etc) but if that was to continue if we entered a relationship, then I'd definitely get pretty annoyed with it. If I do decide to leave her go (which I am leaning towards to be honest), do you think it would be inappropriate to drop her an sms, or am I better off calling? Thing that makes me feel like a douche is that I'd expressed interest in seeing her again but am really not so sure now.
USCGAviator Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Blind dates can be nerve racking. She probably noticed afterward that she was talking about no no things too much and kicked herself for it. If I were you I'd give it a second go around....I mean why not? What have you got to lose?
sweet sugar Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 After lurking for a long time and reading lots of posts on here about women getting miffed about not getting a call after a first date when the guy said he would, I might send her at text or sms (that's like messenger, right?) and say you are sorry but you just don't feel it happening with you. I know you said that you'd have another date, but lots of times, you need time to think about it. No harm there. She might be disappointed, but it's better than going out again and really getting her hopes up for more and she gets more emotionally involved. So...if you are leaning toward launching, then yes, let her know.
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