mickleb Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 Your shrink sounds on the money. Adriane sounds as though she needs to see him/her. x
0hpenelope Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I remember you, CNC... During my intermittent breaks from LS, I remember certain users and you're definitely one of them. I can't believe these new developments with your ex and this: The one thing I know in my heart is that I truly am a good person - so I just don't understand what I keep doing wrong that people I truly and honestly care about hurt me, I just don't get it. I share this thought with you. I know I'm a good person and that's the basis of my capacity of being a good friend, good girlfriend, kind to strangers, etc. But... I refuse to think that I have something wrong with me. It doesn't jive with my gained values of self-worth. I did some things wrong in the relationship sure, but it doesn't mean that they're not fixable. There's nothing fundamentally flawed with me. Instead, the person who left me? He gave up on me and gave up on things that he knew were fixable. He just didn't want to put in the effort. I love(d)* him, I would have never left, but he wanted to walk away anyway. Fine then, go on. There's something peaceful about that surrender - to just acknowledge that people are beyond my control. I wish I can impart on you the love and support I have from my family. I don't think I would've been able to get through the things that idiot put me through without them. There's nothing wrong with you, so please don't believe that about yourself anymore. Being good people doesn't protect us from having bad things happen to us. I hope you find that new job that you are looking for and that you deserve. *I'm getting to the point of not caring if he calls me ever again. Whatever his future endeavors are, good luck to him.
Art_Critic Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) At the moment I am desperately trying to just focus on finding a new job which I am hoping is at least somewhat in my control and something that will at least be a positive and critical thing for me. But OMG I am definitely hurting. CNG..you are beating yourself up right now becuase you are trying to pin the blame on someone and you are the easiest target for it, but that doesn't mean you are the right and proper person to place the blame on though.. The guy is a loser.. a big loser and he hurt you, which I wish I could tell him what I think of him for hurting you.. he deserves the honey on the nuts while being staked over an ant hill treatment IMO... Keep your thoughts about the good things that are happening in your life right now.. I know it is hard to do.. but try... things will get easier... By the way.. would you like a piece of Dove Dark ?.. here take one Edited January 12, 2011 by Art_Critic
Author curiousnycgirl Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 I wish I can impart on you the love and support I have from my family. I don't think I would've been able to get through the things that idiot put me through without them. That's probably my bigger problem, I've never had the love and support of my family and thankfully I've almost never needed it. Typically they need my support in some form or other and also thankfully I've been able to provice it. This time I'm just tapped out. (wow I had typed a much longer response, while it was cathartic to do, clearly way TMI). The bizarre thing is that when the family was really too much for me to handle the ex was able to offer some support - and when work became too much to handle, as it often does, he always understood that - which my family doesn't understand at all. Now work is awful, I haven't spoken with my family since October, and I haven't spoken with my ex since September. There's nothing wrong with you, so please don't believe that about yourself anymore. Being good people doesn't protect us from having bad things happen to us. I hope you find that new job that you are looking for and that you deserve. Thanks I think that would help at lesat restore some of my feelings of security at least and even some self worth - after all if they are willing to pay me that must mean something right? *I'm getting to the point of not caring if he calls me ever again. Whatever his future endeavors are, good luck to him. Funny I thought I was there until I found out he had been seeing someone for quite some time, that's when I realized that all this time I had been hoping he would realize how much he missed me and call. But clearly that wasn't going to happen, he had moved on. Then people started to tell me how much he still loves me, and that he's trying to figure out how to make it right, and I start to believe. But I need to keep reminding myself that he's just saying things that will make him look like the good guy. He probably even believes them to some degree. But they are not true. He ill never call me again, at least not anything good.
Author curiousnycgirl Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 CNG..you are beating yourself up right now becuase you are trying to pin the blame on someone and you are the easiest target for it, but that doesn't mean you are the right and proper person to place the blame on though.. If one person says something they can be wrong and you can be right, but if two and threee people say it then it becomes a bit harder to keep believing you are the one who is right. There is a pattern here. Perhaps it is because I am simply too inexperienced, because I just don't trust easily. Gee I wonder why that is. The guy is a loser.. a big loser and he hurt you, which I wish I could tell him what I think of him for hurting you.. he deserves the honey on the nuts while being staked over an ant hill treatment IMO... Or perhaps I've been trained from an early age to be attracted to the ones who will treat me this way. That is my shrink's opinion. Keep your thoughts about the good things that are happening in your life right now.. I know it is hard to do.. but try... things will get easier... By the way.. would you like a piece of Dove Dark ?.. here take one I am so trying to focus on the good. I am grateful every single day that Laphorse is healed. I am looking forward to the day we can really ride again. This is one of only two times in my whole life that I have ever not been interested in chocolate! It's a very weird feeling. Thanks for taking the time to respond to me I really do appreciate everyone on this board.
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