jen_r Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Finally talked to my ex after only exchanging a few emails here and there. He seemed really emotionally and lost. He said the reason he stopped all communication with me is because his family called him and told him this time he really needed to choose between me or them. He obviously chose them. I think it's pretty selfish for a family to do that to someone. He says "jen, no matter what i want, no matter how much i love you....reality is i cannot be with you. What i want doesn't matter." Then he proposed the idea of seeing a therapist - all of us, me - him - his parents and sister. Talk about overwhelming, a room full of people who can't stand me. I dunno how serious he is about doing this or if his family would even consider going, but what do you think? Good idea, bad idea? Mind you, they despise me at this point. When i thought me & J were really over I sent his mother an email giving her a piece of my mind (felt good too). I'm surprised to even hear my ex bring up the therapy idea. Is it worth a shot?? Or should we really just walk away from each other at this point? I know I didn't give much details about me & the fam, i'll try to recap. 1. They don't think I'm social enough (ie i dont talk too much, they think i hate them because of that) 2. Apparantly I dont have manners??? Honestly don't know why they think that. So, i can't elaborate on that one. 3. I didn't wanna do lunch dates with his mom in the beginning. (I went once and was interviewed under spotlight for an hour and a half, not pleasant) 4. His sister thinks i've ignored her for the past two years. I thought conversations were a two way street? Nothing was stopping her from initiating a convo with me. What stopped me? She's a snob. lol. Those are just some of the dumb things that made them literally hate me. His mother told J to write me a letter and cc a lawyer telling me to cease all contact. Ummmm....what? Edited January 2, 2011 by jen_r
2010_Sorry Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Family is family.... they should be there for him no matter what, even if it something that they disagree with. If he were to chose you, and tell his family that this was what he wants, they would eventually come around. Therapy right now wouldn't work. He has to stand up to his family first.... then they need time to see that you make him happy... THEN seeing a therapist would work. Good luck!
Duckduckgoose Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 This is going to sound crappy, but if his family controls him like that and he doesn't have the balls to break away and be a man, do you want to be with him even though they don't like you and might be sabotaging your relationship behind your back?
m2s Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Oh my god, i could have written this post. Except my situation, he has a 2 year old SON!!! Yes, my ex choose his mother and sister (and entourage) over his staying and working things out with me, for his son!!! I feel for you. But in the end, they are the ones that loose, no one will be good enough for their son/brother, and he needs to grow some balls and stand up to them (as mine does too!)
Author jen_r Posted January 3, 2011 Author Posted January 3, 2011 Family is family.... they should be there for him no matter what, even if it something that they disagree with. If he were to chose you, and tell his family that this was what he wants, they would eventually come around. Therapy right now wouldn't work. He has to stand up to his family first.... then they need time to see that you make him happy... THEN seeing a therapist would work. Good luck! He recently tried standing to them, didnt speak to them for a month and then he caved. They told him if he chooses me, he will no longer be a part of the family (strict jews btw). This is going to sound crappy, but if his family controls him like that and he doesn't have the balls to break away and be a man, do you want to be with him even though they don't like you and might be sabotaging your relationship behind your back? Im torn. Because i love him and wanna be with him, but i want nothing to do with his fam. I don't like their attitude or how they treat their son. I really don't want them a part of my life. Oh my god, i could have written this post. Except my situation, he has a 2 year old SON!!! Yes, my ex choose his mother and sister (and entourage) over his staying and working things out with me, for his son!!! I feel for you. But in the end, they are the ones that loose, no one will be good enough for their son/brother, and he needs to grow some balls and stand up to them (as mine does too!) Sucks right? It drives me insane. I want my ex to be able to make his own choices without having consequences from his family.
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