Xero8780 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 This is kind of a weird question, but as a dumpee, if you have the opportunity to potentially get back with your ex, how can you actually tell if you want the relationship back? Like how can you separate how much you miss the person vs. how much you just miss being in a relationship or feel lonely?
bl22 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 This is kind of a weird question, but as a dumpee, if you have the opportunity to potentially get back with your ex, how can you actually tell if you want the relationship back? Like how can you separate how much you miss the person vs. how much you just miss being in a relationship or feel lonely? If enough time has passed to really know the decision you choose. For second chances to work, the old relationship needs to be forgotten and both parties totally over whatever happened and a new fresh relationship has to start. If you try and resume old relationships, especially if the breakup was hard...it will more often than not, fail.
westrock Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Like how can you separate how much you miss the person vs. how much you just miss being in a relationship or feel lonely? Sometimes you can't. Sometimes it doesn't matter. How is this going to make a difference in your situation?
Mrlonelyone Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 What bl22 said. The old relationship has to be a distant and fuzzy memory. Otherwise you can't start fresh. The old hurts from the old relationship will just get in the way. Furthermore whatever condition made the old relationship fail has to have changed greatly.
Duckduckgoose Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 You have to get out and find "you" again. Once you've healed and had time to clear your head and enjoy being yourself again and they come begging for you back you gotta ask yourself if you even want them back after what they did. If you do then there probably needs to be a big sitdown (not right at the start) about what you expect from each other this time around, take a good objective look at what went wrong the first time, and make some sort of plan (?) about how to handle issues that might come up again from the first time you were together. Honestly I would probably get counselling if I decided to take an EX back, couples counselling that is. If you don't want them back then just tell them right to their face. Don't play games or string them along. And if you DO want them back but are involved with someone else... you're gonna have to hurt someone, either begging-EX or new-SO. If that was the case I would probably stay with new-SO unless I just knew it wasn't going anywhere. Remember, begging-EX has already hurt you once... new-SO has yet to do so (hopefully) and may be the person you're meant to be with.
aerogurl87 Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Go months or years without being with them, date other people, and if the fire is still in your heart for them then you may have a decent shot at having a successful second chance.
andrew-bkk Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 how can you actually tell if you want the relationship back? That's a good question. Maybe you should ask yourself if your ex really is your ideal partner or if you'd prefer someone else.
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