SmileFace Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I just got rejected.Was dating this guy and he stopped contact. I can't say I am not disappointed but I rather not stress over it and try to figure out why. He has his reasons for cutting it off . Just like I would have if I break it off with someone. The question being , if we are so capable of rejecting others why is it so hard when we get rejected? Being rejected is never easy. I am not saying people should train their self to be rejected but does it get easier over time. I am not talking about break ups in ltr or marriages .More dating situations or short term dating
murah989 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Getting rejected is hard because to us , it re-affirms insecurities and feelings of low self worth. It's especially difficult when you've invested more than 2 dates IMO. When it gets that far and you still get rejected, people tend to think that the rejection is more personal.
january2010 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Generally speaking: It's a blow to our ego/self-esteem and our sense of our own worth/value. There's also the lack of control and preparation as a rejectee. I believe it does get easier with time for many people as they become more experienced as both rejectees and rejectors. No doubt any rejection still stings but those with more experience, self-awareness and better support systems, are usually better able to bounce back so that recovery time is shortened. ETA: agree with Murah
Author SmileFace Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I agree with you both. It seems that when you are rejected when dating it makes you questioning yourself. You end up trying to figure everything that went wrong. "maybe i should have done this or done that' or 'maybe I am to fat or to quiet'. We seem to doubt our selves. This why I say I should only date when I am emotional healthy. I want to be able to move on from rejections and learn from them.
murah989 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I agree with you both. It seems that when you are rejected when dating it makes you questioning yourself. You end up trying to figure everything that went wrong. "maybe i should have done this or done that' or 'maybe I am to fat or to quiet'. We seem to doubt our selves. This why I say I should only date when I am emotional healthy. I want to be able to move on from rejections and learn from them. It's important to realize that unless you're extremely confidant in yourself, rejection is almost never impossible to move on from. You're always going to be stuck with that lingering feeling. But IMO, it's important to be comfortable with the feeling of rejection ( notice I say feeling, and not thought). The best way to learn from rejection is to understand your mental state when you feel rejection. Recognize that your mind is experiencing "rejection" and say to yourself " I am feeling rejection, but the feeling will soon pass". When you figure this out, I would say you're healthy enough to give the dating scene another go.
Author SmileFace Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 It's important to realize that unless you're extremely confidant in yourself, rejection is almost never impossible to move on from. You're always going to be stuck with that lingering feeling. But IMO, it's important to be comfortable with the feeling of rejection ( notice I say feeling, and not thought). The best way to learn from rejection is to understand your mental state when you feel rejection. Recognize that your mind is experiencing "rejection" and say to yourself " I am feeling rejection, but the feeling will soon pass". When you figure this out, I would say you're healthy enough to give the dating scene another go. You are right. It is one thing to be emotional ready to deal with rejection but to think I can become immune to it is not ethical.
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