daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I met a guy that is sweet, cute and does all of the right things. And quickly on his heels, I get emailed by 4 guys with great potential, one with maybe potential and a lot in common. I usually don't find all that many that I'd even want to go out on a fun date with, much less have serious potential. Why is it feast or famine in dating? And for me, since I'm picky, it's usually just FAMINE. I have been recognized 3 times out from online dating. The last time, it was a cop that wrote me a citation for rear ending someone on New Year's Eve. He was going to ask me out and I rolled out of there. I wonder if I shouldn't go out with them all just to see. I just feel a little guilty and don't want to blow it with new guy. He mentioned possibly canceling his profile soon. I think he was gauging my reaction. Not sure. Don't want to lose a potentially great one for 4 birds in the bush..
january2010 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Ah, I guess this is why multi-dating was invented.
ecm Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I feel ya sister. If you're honest with everyone, what's the harm in meeting someone for coffee? You never know! You're doing yourself a dis-service by not seeing what's out there. If this guy is potentially a "good one", the other ones won't matter, anyway.
mo mo Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I met a guy that is sweet, cute and does all of the right things. And quickly on his heels, I get emailed by 4 guys with great potential, one with maybe potential and a lot in common. I usually don't find all that many that I'd even want to go out on a fun date with, much less have serious potential. Why is it feast or famine in dating? And for me, since I'm picky, it's usually just FAMINE. I have been recognized 3 times out from online dating. The last time, it was a cop that wrote me a citation for rear ending someone on New Year's Eve. He was going to ask me out and I rolled out of there. I wonder if I shouldn't go out with them all just to see. I just feel a little guilty and don't want to blow it with new guy. He mentioned possibly canceling his profile soon. I think he was gauging my reaction. Not sure. Don't want to lose a potentially great one for 4 birds in the bush.. If I were you I wouldnt risk screwing up somethin really good just because you feel like exercising options.
zengirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 When you say you "met" said guy, how serious is it? If you're still in the first few dates, I say grab dinner or coffee with whomever you like.
EasyHeart Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Yes, where are you with Man #1? You don't have to be exclusive after one or two dates.
TheWatcher Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I met a guy that is sweet, cute and does all of the right things. And quickly on his heels, I get emailed by 4 guys with great potential, one with maybe potential and a lot in common. I usually don't find all that many that I'd even want to go out on a fun date with, much less have serious potential. Why is it feast or famine in dating? And for me, since I'm picky, it's usually just FAMINE. I'm glad that so many possibilities have presented themselves to you.That's really not surprising since your a woman & online dating benefits women more than men.Sometimes,I wonder why men even bother putting up profiles on dating sites but that's another topic... I guess that you can multi-date & see who you're most compatible with.You must be very excited and reveling in the attention;Good luck Enjoy the free dinners/coffee !!
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Ah, I guess this is why multi-dating was invented. I'm thinking I wouldn't have been so opposed to multi-dating, had I known there'd be more than one a year that I might find interesting.
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I feel ya sister. If you're honest with everyone, what's the harm in meeting someone for coffee? You never know! You're doing yourself a dis-service by not seeing what's out there. If this guy is potentially a "good one", the other ones won't matter, anyway. No harm in coffee. It's a good way to spare time and resources if it's not going anywhere post date 1. And you're right. But honestly if there wasn't an age difference that I'm reluctant about, I probably wouldn't bother going out on any of the other dates. Well, that and I'm not going to stop dating until the guy tells me clearly he's not dating anyone else. I am at a total disadvantage when I cut off my options. And I don't want to force anyone to date the way I have done. The good thing is that I tend to have more options since online dating is so in the girl's favor.
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 If I were you I wouldnt risk screwing up somethin really good just because you feel like exercising options. Normally I would agree with you. But I'm kind of tired of being the one who cuts off her options and being the idiot standing there holding the bag so he's going to have to clearly have the talk with me before I do anything. No more ms. nice girl.
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 When you say you "met" said guy, how serious is it? If you're still in the first few dates, I say grab dinner or coffee with whomever you like. One date. Granted, awesome date. Like him plenty. But you're right. I still have about a week or two of running around getting coffee with whomever at this point.
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Yes, where are you with Man #1? You don't have to be exclusive after one or two dates. True. But that's the way I guess I've always done it so going against that makes me feel a little guilty. Especially if I suspect a guy really likes me.
january2010 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I'm thinking I wouldn't have been so opposed to multi-dating, had I known there'd be more than one a year that I might find interesting. Perhaps this will be an interesting test for you!
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Satisficing will make you happier. So, pick the top 2 and go for quick coffee dates? I was good up until I saw unknown formulas.
Mad Max Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 If I were you I wouldnt risk screwing up somethin really good just because you feel like exercising options. ^^^This^^^
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I'm glad that so many possibilities have presented themselves to you.That's really not surprising since your a woman & online dating benefits women more than men.Sometimes,I wonder why men even bother putting up profiles on dating sites but that's another topic... I guess that you can multi-date & see who you're most compatible with.You must be very excited and reveling in the attention;Good luck Enjoy the free dinners/coffee !! Why do men bother? Because they're motivated to have sex more than breathe and playing lots and lots of golf just doesn't cut it. What I don't get is when a guy gets a good one, he screws it up so easily. I'm pretty damn excited about it. I have had very long dry spells and it isn't good for the confidence. I think I've learned though, that I have to put some effort into it as well. Guys aren't going to knock on my door for a date. Except maybe the cop, now that he knows where I live.
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 you should make that your ring tone But then I'd have to turn off my ringer when I'm out with #1 guy.
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Perhaps this will be an interesting test for you! I think it will be. And knowing how my luck works, it'll be a test that ends with me having to humble myself and apologize to #1 guy if he's not cool with giving me a little time to multi date. It takes a lot for me to have chemistry with a guy. And he passed the Would I sleep with him/Could I see a long term relationship with him test. I sure wish I had learned all of these things in my 20's instead of hopping into a relationship and not passing go, not collecting 200$.
Author daphne Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 ^^^This^^^ Not worried. A short skirt and a tall pair of Louboutins will make him put up with just about anything. I say that now...
january2010 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I think it will be. And knowing how my luck works, it'll be a test that ends with me having to humble myself and apologize to #1 guy if he's not cool with giving me a little time to multi date. It takes a lot for me to have chemistry with a guy. And he passed the Would I sleep with him/Could I see a long term relationship with him test. I sure wish I had learned all of these things in my 20's instead of hopping into a relationship and not passing go, not collecting 200$. Ditto. I'm not sure that I could multi-date but I think for some, it is the right choice for them.
MrNate Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I'm glad that so many possibilities have presented themselves to you.That's really not surprising since your a woman & online dating benefits women more than men.Sometimes,I wonder why men even bother putting up profiles on dating sites but that's another topic... I guess that you can multi-date & see who you're most compatible with.You must be very excited and reveling in the attention;Good luck Enjoy the free dinners/coffee !! Hahaha, this is why I don't online date at all. As tempting as it sounds, I rather not be ticket holder #76. I rather take my chances offline, where the competition is much, much smaller, and the playing field is much more even.
mo mo Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I'm glad that so many possibilities have presented themselves to you.That's really not surprising since your a woman & online dating benefits women more than men.Sometimes,I wonder why men even bother putting up profiles on dating sites but that's another topic... I guess that you can multi-date & see who you're most compatible with.You must be very excited and reveling in the attention;Good luck Enjoy the free dinners/coffee !! I agree that online dating really sucks for men. 3 different women flirted with me today and I was just shopping. On dating websites I don't even get noticed. I don't even bother anymore
fishtaco Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Like everyone said, multi date. Things like this always happens in bursts. Then you'll go through a dry period, and repeat. Hence multi dating makes sense. Unless you are so hot and wanted that you have a constant in-flow, you should multi date to take advantage of the "burst" period. Looks like we have another convert. Don't knock it till you try it. And yes, online dating is really bad for men, I don't bother with it anymore.
welikeincrowds Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 So, pick the top 2 and go for quick coffee dates? I was good up until I saw unknown formulas. Yeah I don't know about those formulas either. I think if you understand them you get happier though. The general idea from that is not to doubt satisfaction. We may expend a lot of energy finding "the best" option, which wears us down and makes us ultimately (and ironically) unhappy. But after reading more, that doesn't seem like an issue here. Louboutins Yes, there is no problem here. Get it gurl
Recommended Posts