cesere Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Please explain what the no contact rule is, what it entails, how it is supposed to work, and how it may assist me specifically?
Author cesere Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Thanks for posting the rule. It says in that people with kids cannot really use the rule. And I have a child with my ex-wife who I pray will someday be my wife again....but things haven't been looking too rosy, especially the last 4 days.
january2010 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I'm sorry that you're hurting but I suggest going LC and focusing on kids and finances as your sole topics.
aerogurl87 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I'm gonna be honest here and just put this out here, NC doesn't work for everyone. What does definitely work though is working on yourself and being happy by yourself again without your ex. I did this with my ex and somehow we shifted into becoming friends and now he's back to spewing "I love you"s and begging me to come visit him. All this happened after I went NC for a few months and then begged for him back to no avail, and then went LC for a year or so and told him that I wasn't going to be his back up plan. Stand up for yourself, show you respect yourself and your SO will respect you and want you back.
TheGrimSweeper Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 What does definitely work though is working on yourself and being happy by yourself again without your ex. Generally to achieve this though you have to go NC for at least a few months.
Author cesere Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 What is LC? Or was it a typo for NC? How can I get my ex-wife who left her country for me, was married to me for 10 years, has a child with me, started sleeping with me one month after the divorce....but then got angry 2 months later and has been treating me like crap ever since? I haven't even been allowed in her home (which my family paid for and she didn't contribute a penny) in 7 months! How can I get her interested in me again?
january2010 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 What is LC? Or was it a typo for NC? How can I get my ex-wife who left her country for me, was married to me for 10 years, has a child with me, started sleeping with me one month after the divorce....but then got angry 2 months later and has been treating me like crap ever since? I haven't even been allowed in her home (which my family paid for and she didn't contribute a penny) in 7 months! How can I get her interested in me again? Low Contact I think it's too soon to try to get her back. You need to give her some space and time first. Then if she's interested, she'll show you.
WTRanger Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 You can't make someone interested in you. The only thing you can do is remove yourself as much from her life as you can. That means, no settling for crumbs. Keeping a very civil, yet very short, convo when you see her to pick up your son or what not. The more your try, the worse you make it. Just remember that.
CopingGal Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 When I broke up with my bf in 2009, I was blindsided by the NC rule. I had never heard of it. I did not know what was going on. I was shocked, hurt, angry, etc., and I had trouble mantaining it. This time I was ready for the NC rule. I got my coping mechanisms: the book "It's Called a Break Up Because it's Broken," my stars to give myself if I did not contact him, and more. But the trouble was, we had a whirlwind break up. I know he did not want to break up with me and he felt like I was forcing him. So I called him and we decided to get back together. If we hadn't gotten back together, NC would have been the way to go. NC is horrible, but it's also good. One book says to give NC a try for about 90 days, then when you have a clear head, you can talk to your bf or gf again calmly. Trouble is, after 90 days they may be in another relationship. If you have kids, yeah, you can't do the NC, but less contact. Break up are horrible.
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