sooobroken Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I have not been able to sleep well, and the thought that keeps running through my head is how i wish the breakup that my girlfriend went through with would have at least given me the decency of having it happen face to face. Should i contact her and tell her that i am not meeting her because i want her back, but need to have her breakup and talk about the reasons? I have sooo many unanswered questions and only think it fair if she would answer them, as it would provide closure.....i'm hurting so bad, my friends have been trying to cheer me up, but its not working......
Keridan Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 My experience says you will never get a satisfactory answer to those questions. It could be different for you, but I've been through a few relationships and never felt like I had experienced that mystical and elusive feeling that folks refer to as "closure". It sucks, but nothing she says is going to reverse the loss you feel. You miss being with her and that won't go away if she says all the right things now. Others may have a different perspective, but I think you would be digging in a wound that really needs to start healing on its own. I would say it's a bad idea to contact her. I hope the best for you no matter what you choose! I'm sorry for the pain you are going through.
WTRanger Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 The answers you seek will only provide you with more questions. And that's IF she answers them honestly. More than likely you'll get the, "I love you, but not in love with you." Or, she'll answer them with such soul crushing honesty that you'll take many months to recover. So sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. The only answers you need should come from within you.
Karma20 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 You think closure will help but it might make it worse. My ex didn't breakup with me face to face and it sucked but what can you do. He did give me reasons but they contraedicted himself on some of them and some didn't make sense due to his actions right before the breakup. So closure can just confuse you more. Its been a month and a half and all though I'm still confused it doesn't bother as much as time passes thankks to NC
Movingthrough Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 The answers you seek will only provide you with more questions. I hate to say it man, because i know where you are coming from, but the above post is the most truthful. Me personally i wrote so many emails that i didnt even want anymore question answer time. I know you need some sort of mindset (see my other post it might help) so you can move on, but take a deep look and maybe you can answer those questions yourself. I did do what i need to do for my "closure" but i would never meet up just to talk, it will be weird, make you look bad, and it will not go well.
fiat500 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 well wait. who broke up with who? breaking up with someone over the phone or internet is the crappiest and most disrespectful way ever. if anyone should contact first it's the dumper. BUT if you want a respectful way to say goodbye you should call.
Tombo Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Yes,how did she break up with you? Mine broke up with me by phone. Spineless.
Author sooobroken Posted January 3, 2011 Author Posted January 3, 2011 Here is the thing, I didn't even know we had broken up, until I called her....she said that we were done and over with....I was soooo confused. Didn't know, and honestly didn't expect it. It was the worst thing that I ever experienced having a decision thrust upon you, but kept a secret until u ask....it was very heartless.....I got her to meet up with me the next day and she was soooo happy to see me. She said she still loved me....didn't even break up legitimately and said she had to go. Why would she do that? She still loves me was happy to see me? Does she feel this is a game? Can't stop thinking abbout her smile and how she ended it.
romanticandloyal Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 Here is the thing, I didn't even know we had broken up, until I called her....she said that we were done and over with....I was soooo confused. . jees mate.. i went through the same thing.. had NC from her over the last 2 weeks.. sent msgs and tried to call in the beginning then decided to give her space.. eventually yday i got an txt breaking up with me.. yeah.. i know what u mean man about being confused and hurt.. i am really sorry you felt like this, cos i know how it feels mate.. its cowardly and gutless imo.. but i suppose they cant face hurting the other person and its an easy way out..
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