dng Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Hi Folks, She called for new year but didn't blow up my phone like she used to do. Two calls and I didn't pickup. God I hope I'm doing the right thing. It was so hard to not answer the phone. Its hard to accept that she doesn't need me anymore and its hard to understand why I do. I really wish I was a bigger person right now. Big enought to take those calls, wish her a happy new year. Instead, I'm cowardly hiding behind NC and the mere tought of seeing her or talking to her sends me running to the hills.
PowerOfOne Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 hehe, glad to know there is someone else hiding behind NC. I'm ok with it though. As far as she knows I'm keeping NC because she walked out and that means she's completely out of my life. Fake it 'till you make it or so they say.
2010_Sorry Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Way to go! I am sure that was hard, but there are SO MANY of us that would have picked up the phone and set ourselves back.... you're doing great dng!
Author dng Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Way to go! I am sure that was hard, but there are SO MANY of us that would have picked up the phone and set ourselves back.... you're doing great dng! Gee, thanks for the nice words. I'm not doing that great, to be honest. We've been broken up for 6 months but really NC only for one. She left but was really making efforts to keep me in her life. I went along for the ride and would probably have stayed there longer but she started seeing someone else. She didn't tell me until they stopped it. I don't know what's true and what's lies with her anymore, and not that it matters. I'm worried that after all this time I'm still struggling with this. I had a rather crazy night after she tried to call me, too. I am getting councelling once a week, I have accepted that it's over and I'm doing my best to try to move on. Its not that hard to stay NC, I just have to think about how she told me all summer and autumn I was her favorite person in the world and how she needed me in her life and the whole time she had another guy getting her 100%. I really think it's not normal that I'm still thinking about it in those terms after all this time. It shouldn't matter that much anymore and I'm really trying hard to be a bigger person here.
stopthemadness Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Hi Folks, She called for new year but didn't blow up my phone like she used to do. Two calls and I didn't pickup. God I hope I'm doing the right thing. It was so hard to not answer the phone. Its hard to accept that she doesn't need me anymore and its hard to understand why I do. I really wish I was a bigger person right now. Big enough to take those calls, wish her a happy new year. Instead, I'm cowardly hiding behind NC and the mere tought of seeing her or talking to her sends me running to the hills. Well at least you got a call. I got nothing, but thats ok . I didnt email or call him either. He did call me last week to tell me this new lady broke it off with him. Its funny cause at the same time am trying to break it off with a man I just started talking too. Just wasnt feeling that spark. I hope one day I can wish him well. But its not 2day. I am feeling better I guess. I see a therapist every other week. Its the weeks in between that I feel weak. No thats a lie. I think of him alot. Not all the time, but still alot. Still retraining my brain.(smile) Good luck to us..am sure it gets better.
TheGrimSweeper Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I got a msg on facebook chat. She just said happy new years and hoped I had a good one. I did the short and sweet reply "we for sure did, hope yours was good as well"
Author dng Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I got a msg on facebook chat. She just said happy new years and hoped I had a good one. I did the short and sweet reply "we for sure did, hope yours was good as well" I don't know about you, but in my case she knows how hard I've been taking this. I was OK at first but her constant 180s really did a job on me, until I stopped allowing her to do it to me. The last time I saw her was in september. She was coming for a few days but it didn't play out like that. She ended up sleeping on the couch telling me she couldn't be intimate with anyone at the moment. That turned out to not be the real reason, but I digress. In the morning she woke up and told me something like "OK now my decision is made, we are over. I look at you and I feel nothing." I have some shame but I will admit that I cried. Alot. I had to hide in the bedroom. I didn't argue at all however, I complied with what she wanted. In fact, I never argued with her over the course of the whole breakup and always complied. She went on her business of getting ready to leave by showering and doing all her little rituals that I knew so well, we had breakfast outside and then she warmed up somewhat. Did another 180 and told me she just needed more time and more space. I was really full of hope at that point. I want to stress here that I gave her all the time and space she asked for. She made me live throught some of the worst moments of my life. There was one time where she told me to give her a week to decide and that her decision would be final. I complied. She called me in the middle of the week, my hopes shot up like crazy... but no, she wanted to know how I was doing. Finally saturday she texted me a 4am that she was coming back, but then I didn't hear from her for another week or so. Turns out she was seeing someone the whole time. Am I wrong in thinking that this is super unfair and dishonest? And why am I so hung up on this? It was months ago, in august, and she told me end of september, which is when I made my decision and went NC. She broke thru my NC wall a couple of times, I wavered, but stayed on course. I don't know if I better for it or not.
daMien_rice Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 ok,we were together for almost a year and engaged and i traveled to other part of the world for 6 weeks just to spend xmas and meet her family friends and her life.from the first moment i arrived she was cold and obvious there was something.2 weeks later i found out she had an affair back in may for 2 months.and she always denied whenever i asked about the guy she said they are just good friends and made me feel so insecure and bad about not trusting her anyways i found out the truth and packed my bags and got my ring back and just took the first plane to a country i never been before...new years eve she called me and i didnt pick up and then she send me a pm on facebook saying"you cant even swallow that pride and say good year.fine" what the hell is wrong with people??? why do i even want her to have a good year when she destroyed the previous one for me???
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