CopingGal Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 My boyfriend has lied to me before. He displays no affection in public. But he is VERY affectionate behind closed doors. He had a facebook account in which I am nowhere to be seen and I am not mentioned. And he lied to me about having it. He said it's because I had a bad experience on facebook, which I did. He is very attracted to me, this I know, but makes me feel hidden from the rest of the people in his life. He did not indicate that he was in a relationship on Facebook. He put the pics of our vacation up and left the pictures of me out of it. He made some lously excuse like " people would have kept asking me who you were because there was no pic of us together." He said the account was to keep in touch with his college friends. He is sneaky. He lies. But we decided to stay together and go to couple's counseling. He is very willing to go. We went before and it was great, but the sessions ended because the sessions were on a college campus and they broke for summer. We had only had 4 session, and the lying aspect was not a problem at the time, so we did not discuss that. He was unable to attend in the fall because of his son. But we are going in Jan. He even called me with his schedule so that I could make an appt. Do you think I should stay in the relationship with a man who is sneaky and lies, and makes me feel that he doesn't acknowlege me to people in his life, but is willing to go to couple's therapy? Thanks CopingGal
2010_Sorry Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I truly think that any man that is in a relationship and avoids letting all of his friends and family know about it is not that "in to you". I am a woman however, so it might be nice to get the perspective of a man here... Any takers?
Author CopingGal Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Thanks Sorry, He has told me several times that he has told his friends about me. I just have not met them. It's rare that he brings me to his town because it's kind of far, so when we hang out, we go to a closer town. However, that will change soon. I will be in his area more. It will be interesting to see if this changes. He did invite me one time to a concert with his friends, but I declined. I should have accepted it. This was a year ago. I'm not sure what to think. He calls me about 3 to 4 times a week.
WTRanger Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 You went to couples counseling over his Facebook page and status? Huh, that's a new level to the insanity that people into that stupid site. He's willing to go to counseling with you. Many guys won't do that. How about you pay attention to his real life actions, not his social networking. Who cares if he's not sucking your face in public? Some guys just aren't into the the whole public thing. He might think it's annoying to see other couples doing it. He wanted to bring you into his circle of friends, but you declined. He may be the sort of guy who won't push the issue, and he may think you want to not meet his friends so he stopped asking after than one chance. So the lies weren't why you went to couples counseling, but he has lied to you before? Something doesn't make sense here. He's willing to go to counseling, so how in God's green earth is that a bad sign? If he was such a liar and cheat, you'd have to drag him in there. You really need to bring this stuff up during one of your sessions. What did you guys talk about last time?
Author CopingGal Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 No, no. We went to previously went to counseling about other issues. The facebook page was more complicated than it sounds. It recently came up, but we had planned to go back to counseling anyway. He lied about it, furiously and it just adds to the fact that I feel he doesn't want me in my life and made me feel I could not trust him. The situation was more complex than I made it sound. Plus, we had problems from before and he planned to go back to counseling in the future anyway.
Author CopingGal Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 No, going to counseling is not a bad sign. It's just that since he lies so easily and I know if I can ever trust him, with or without counseling. Last time we went to counseling, we went because we were arguing a lot and then when I told him I had nothing to say to him, because he had stood me up for the upteenth time (his life was chaotic and things would come up. He would stand me up), he jumped into another relationship within 7 days.
Author CopingGal Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Hi Green. So far, there are 2 situations I know of where he lied. He said he had no mice, but he did and he knew it. And two, he lied multiple times about facebook. So yes, these are small lies, but he so good at lying, I dunno. I will keep what you said in mind Green, but I still want to go back to therapy.
andrew-bkk Posted January 3, 2011 Posted January 3, 2011 So far, there are 2 situations I know of where he lied. He said he had no mice, but he did and he knew it. Huh????????
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