whose stories on LS personally affect you?

[Ariadne]

Mainly I can relate to OceanGirl in her inability to find love. It almost seems like she is cursed with this in the same way that I am.

 

I also feel in a way if one of us finds love then it will follow that the other one will because of the similarities.

 

I also can relate to her in her obsession for years with certain guys, and I cannot relate to StarGazer, Kamille, Tigressa, Shadow, etc, because they are always in series of relationships in which they are "in love" even.

 

I also found inspiration in Touche's posts because she was the textbook soulmate relationship as described in texts and personal stories.

 

It's wonderful to know that these things actually do happen and there are real life examples.

[northern_sky]

 

I absolutely feel the opposite. I do not like seeing people stuck. It frustrates me and makes me sad. Very little can be learned from stagnation. And after a long enough time, seeing someone repeat the same patterns over and over again becomes really boring.

 

Progress, on the other hand, is exciting to see. I am fascinated by those who not only have a breakthrough, but employ it to actually make positive change in their lives. I find it inspiring.

 

 

 

I agree with everything you said, January, but particularly this. I couldn't agree more. This is why I've often said I don't think OG and Sky, as much as they like each other, do each other any good.

 

I think you may have misinterpreted my post. I don't like to see people stuck. I would be thrilled if they made progress. That's what I mean when I say it disturbs and personally affect me. I really want to them get out of their rut and I feel unable to.

[Ariadne]

I'd like to add that I feel that with OceanGirl we project the same vibe on guys given that we are very similar physically (with me being the dark complexion) and have similar physical shapes.

 

So whatever reaction she gets from guys I get similar.

[northern_sky]

Again, I agree. However, if both people involved in the friendship enjoy being stuck and are fascinated by their stationary positions, their collective wallowing is unlikely to change, and will, as you so eloquently put it, color everything they do and become toxic to their well-being...if it hasn't already.

 

No, no, no... That's not it at all. I can't speak for OG, but I definitely don't enjoy being "stuck." I also don't think that I am. I've made a lot of progress since where I was with my ex-ex. I am just most disturbed and affected by the stories of people who are, because I feel unable to help them.

[northern_sky]

I have a background in psychology and whilst I'm still very interested in the human condition, having read so many inspirational stories about how people have overcome adversity under the most harrowing conditions, it amazes me that seemingly small setbacks can send others spiralling into the abyss again. I have to keep reminding myself that we are individuals and that we all have our own cross to bear.

 

However, I think that boundaries are important, more so online where we tend to be more uninhibited and don't necessarily have the controls we do in real life. Being able to draw the line and maintain it is important in not allowing ourselves to be sucked into the negativity of others. It's draining and you can only do so much before you have to step away and take a break to recharge yourself. And then you step into the fray again to do what you can.

 

Regarding progression, I like to see people get better. I don't like to see them stuck. I feel that it's encouraging them to be unhealthy, whether that's vocalised or not.

 

It's the same reason I find addiction and abnormal psychology both fascinating and disturbing. I don't believe there is anything "unhealthy" about this interest, and I don't see why you have to turn this into some sort of commentary on me as a person or opportunity to stand on your soap box. I know plenty of people who are interested in the darker aspects of the human psyche (including a lot of psychologists who work with disturbed people), and there's really nothing wrong with that. It's just a personal preference. That doesn't mean I like to see these people in pain. It's quite the opposite, which is why I am affected by their struggles.

[SmileFace]

When i use to frequent ls a while back.the was this lady who use to post i know she doesnt post anymore but i think her name was tksmoothie. I hope i am not mixing her up with a next member

 

I like reading things from

Paddingtonbear

Frisky

Serinitynow

Yer blues

Zengirl

Tigressa

[USMCHokie]

woot woot. So u guys meet on here or life first. why no romance and just friends? (hope its ur doing lol) haha

 

We met on LS first. She had a boyfriend when we first met, so we've just been friends since then.

[Crazy Magnet]

Woggle. Everything he thinks about women I pretty much think about men. It's been a loooooooong slow and painful process for me to get back to a place where I am not totally disgusted by anything with a penis. I'm rooting for him because if he can fight his demons, surely I can fight mine.

[january2010]

It's the same reason I find addiction and abnormal psychology both fascinating and disturbing. I don't believe there is anything "unhealthy" about this interest, and I don't see why you have to turn this into some sort of commentary on me as a person or opportunity to stand on your soap box. I know plenty of people who are interested in the darker aspects of the human psyche (including a lot of psychologists who work with disturbed people), and there's really nothing wrong with that. It's just a personal preference. That doesn't mean I like to see these people in pain. It's quite the opposite, which is why I am affected by their struggles.

 

I'm sorry you feel that way.

[northern_sky]

I'm sorry you feel that way.

 

That's not much of a response, and the snarky smiley face wasn't really necessary. Why not at least acknowledge you may have misunderstood what I was trying to communicate?

[january2010]

That's not much of a response, and the snarky smiley face wasn't really necessary. Why not at least acknowledge you may have misunderstood what I was trying to communicate?

 

I am genuinely sorry that you feel that way. Unfortunately, there isn't a smiley face that conveys that.

[northern_sky]

 

One poster here who makes me really sad to read her threads is GooseChaser. She seems like such a sweetheart, but so hopelessly naive. I just want to give her a big hug...after I figuratively knock some sense into her.

 

me too.

 

-----

[northern_sky]

I am genuinely sorry that you feel that way. Unfortunately, there isn't a smiley face that conveys that.

 

You're still evading my question. Why are you unwilling to acknowledge that you may have misunderstood me?

[whichwayisup]

HokeyReligions, she's been through so much in her life, alot of pain and heartache, losses and she still somehow is positive and strong.

 

Lucreziaborgia, an inspiring and strong woman who's endured so much in life and a cancer survivor.

 

B_O, still is much stronger than she realizes and is just an all around special soul.

[northern_sky]

 

Lucreziaborgia, an inspiring and strong woman who's endured so much in life and a cancer survivor.

 

Yes, she's another one I find fascinating.

[january2010]

You're still evading my question. Why are you unwilling to acknowledge that you may have misunderstood me?

 

You're trying to make this personal. I don't want to derail your thread any further and acknowledged that when I responded to Star Gazer.

[northern_sky]

You're trying to make this personal. I don't want to derail your thread any further and acknowledged that when I responded to Star Gazer.

 

In other words, you make an implicit commentary on my psychological health and friendship with another poster, and then expect me to not come to my own defense and make it personal? And then you don't respond to the parts of my post where I clarify what I actually meant in my OP. Why can't you just acknowledge that there was a misunderstanding?

Edited January 2, 2011 by northern_sky

[Ariadne]

Heh apart from the obvious:

 

paddington_bear

spookie

some of johan's "real" threads

panda_girl

love_lace

always_searching

 

paddington bear I don't know who that is.

 

spookie I can't relate to her because she is like me when I was 30 years old, getting her first job etc etc

 

johan i read that with little interest

 

pandagirl all i know is that she is asian I think

 

love lace I relate somewhat in her bad luck

 

always searching not sure who this is either

[january2010]

In other words, you make an implicit commentary on my psychological health and friendship with another poster, and then expect me to not come to my own defense and make it personal? And then you don't respond to the parts of my post where I clarify what I actually meant in my OP. Why can't you just acknowledge that there was a misunderstanding?

 

I think your thread is/was a really good one but I can see that you will not let this go.

 

I'm disengaging now, Northern_Sky.

 

Genuinely sorry smiley -->

[paddington bear]

I did write a long list here...but then deleted it because I felt bad that I might have left someone out, but in short and off the top of my head...Lovelace, woggle, carhill, usm chokie, ocean girl and january 2010 I enjoy reading your replies. There are people on here, who don't seem to be here any more, or perhaps have taken a break or are just lurking which is a shame...(unless they've found true love and happiness and don't need LS any more, in that case, great!)

 

I guess there are posters that I identify with and then there are those that simply write sensitively and well thought out replies to others problems, which in turn make me think.

 

The thing with LS is that, for me anyway, it is a source of help in times of need, or simply a way of wiling away the hours. However, sometimes, if I'm feeling low, I just can't face stories of either heartbreak or joy and take a break from it. Haven't been on here for a long, long time and obviously, have recently got sucked back in.

 

I have actually learned a lot from both posting on here and simply reading other people's posts, it has actually helped, the advice I've gotten, and has been practiced in reality...so let me take this opportunity to say thanks to everyone and also I see I've been mentioned on these lists, which was a surprise (and perhaps a little scary!)

[northern_sky]

I'm going to take this opportunity to make a point. I don't know if I've ever revealed this much vulnerability on LS in direct response to what other people have written. And in general I'm reluctant to do so. But I've had enough.

 

This, this right here, is the kind of negativity that gets me down. Not reading about the lives of others.

 

I seriously can't start a thread, no matter how innocuous, without somebody trying to criticize my life, friendships, or even interest in others. I could probably start a thread about something funny my cat did, and Mme Chaucer et al. would find some way of spinning it into a commentary on what a messed up person I am.

 

Then if I get offended or hurt, certain posters will pounce all over that. Why are you so defensive? What's wrong with you? Can't take it? Are you a narcissist, are you psychotic? Huh, huh? Here, let me paste some crap I pulled off the internet about a personality disorder and diagnose you with it based on how upset you get when others criticize you. Why are you so judgmental about others? Sure, I barely know you and have never met you in real life, but it's fine for me to diagnose you with something, yet you have no right to judge others when they repeatedly put you down. And if you dare defend yourself in response to my post, or point out my hypocrisy, you're falling into my trap, and that's just more evidence that I was right.

 

I fully expect a response like this, which is why I'm not going to open this thread again. You want to know boring and depressing? There it is.

 

Yes, I know I have problems, but for god sakes people. I'm a human being, and I have more to me than you can or are willing to see here. Maybe you'll see that if look a little deeper. And I'm sensitive. Lay off. I don't need to be reminded of my issues at every damn opportunity, especially when I'm just lonely and trying to connect with others.

 

I really think LS is a habit I need to kick, because for all the wonderful, inspirational, and optimistic people on this site whom I truly appreciate, the last thing I need is a chorus of Negative Nancies in my head affirming every bad thought I've ever had about myself. One is enough.

Edited January 2, 2011 by northern_sky

[paddington bear]

northern sky...yeah I know, I've gotten some feedback over my time here on LS that makes me feel a little like I've gotten a punch in the stomach.

 

Both the benefit of anonymity on forums, but also I think there is a degree of straight talking, people just forget that it's a real person sometimes. Don't let it get to you!!! Stay! Please!

[northern_sky]

northern sky...yeah I know, I've gotten some feedback over my time here on LS that makes me feel a little like I've gotten a punch in the stomach.

 

Both the benefit of anonymity on forums, but also I think there is a degree of straight talking, people just forget that it's a real person sometimes. Don't let it get to you!!! Stay! Please!

 

I just had an insight. When somebody has low self esteem they are often drawn to people who criticize them. Unfortunately, this is probably part of the reason I keep coming back to LS. For this reason the criticizers are enabling the cycle of negativity and are as inextricably part of it as the target of their criticism.

 

I appreciate that you want me to stay, but I need to cut out the negative voices from my life if I want to change. I don't expect those naysayers to change just as much as they don't expect me to change. We're in a fcked up sado-masochistic cycle and somebody needs to break it.

[Ms. Joolie]

We have to learn to love the Negative Nancys. :heart: Just for who they are.

[northern_sky]

Green, are you just trying to egg me on now or prove my point? Please, lay off. I just wrote that this kind of stuff is hurting me. Have a little compassion. I don't remember ever saying an unkind word about you.

Edited January 2, 2011 by northern_sky