ivalm Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I tried (briefly) OKC and found it pretty neat. I tried PoF (for perhaps 30 minutes) and thought that their UI was perhaps the worst of any modern websites. However, I never invested enough time to actually see if any of them "work". So, here are some questions to all the LS people: What do you guys and girls think? Which websites do you use (if you do online dating)? What do you like about the websites you use? Also, what gender/age group do you belong to?
hART Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I know a guy who is getting engaged to his online sweetheart. I like okcupid so far, but haven't had any experience with actually meeting people (nervous/not ready).
USCGAviator Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 30/Male I use POF and have had plenty of success on that site. From what I heard, alot of people have profiles on both sites. So chances are you won't be missing out using one or the other.
Author ivalm Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Also, for those answering the questions: where are you from (at least state/country)? It seems some websites are more popular in some locales but not others.
Yer_Blues Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I've always been curious about these sites. Do young people (like, under 23) use these sites? If so, has anybody ever heard/had any experience with this? I can't help but think that people my age who would be using a dating site are probably damaged goods or crazy. I think dating is supposed to come natural/happen in natural social environments, but I'm not sure. I've considered trying one of them out just to meet some people, even if they are really unattractive or crazy, just to get some experience dating without relying on approaching people in the more usual situations.
USCGAviator Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 There are plenty of younger people on those sites. I take it for what it is. I'm pretty busy during the week and I don't go to bars so online is pretty much my primary means to meet women.
zengirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I met my BF on OKC. He's fantastic. I always found that site to be the most fun. POF is terrible in every area I've ever lived in --- a total sex site, more than relationship related. I hated all the guys I met on Match, mostly, though I did meet one decent guy there who I dated for awhile. That was a long time ago, though. eHarmony is too Christian for me.
USMCHokie Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 OKC was by far the best experience, in terms of interface and success. POF is crap, though I did meet a girl that lived 4 some hours away. Match was ok, but I hated having to pay, and I think the people on there are a bit more pretentious...but I'm merely speculating... EHarmony denied their services to me. I'm 27 and in the DC Metro area.
Author ivalm Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 EHarmony denied their services to me. Wait, WTH? How can they do that? What did they say?
USMCHokie Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Wait, WTH? How can they do that? What did they say? Eh, they never gave me a specific reason. After I took the hour to fill out their ridiculous questionaire, they told me they couldn't find me any matches based on my answers. But I did this probably 4 or 5 years ago, and I had heard that this was their stock response for those said they weren't religious. They may have relaxed that "requirement" in recent years...
Star Gazer Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I had heard that this was their stock response for those said they weren't religious. They may have relaxed that "requirement" in recent years... Mine states I am not religious, and I do not have this problem. Never have, in all the years I've been on the site.
zengirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Eh, they never gave me a specific reason. After I took the hour to fill out their ridiculous questionaire, they told me they couldn't find me any matches based on my answers. But I did this probably 4 or 5 years ago, and I had heard that this was their stock response for those said they weren't religious. They may have relaxed that "requirement" in recent years... Several of my atheist friends have been turned away as well. Fairly recently. I think it depends HOW not religious you are, though. Also, they allow gay people to fill out the questionaire, but a friend of mine once got a group of gay men to fill it out (This was more than 50 in the same area), and all got returned as, "No matches." Wow, they still couldn't match them with those 49 other guys, even if they had no other gay matches? BTW, after the study, at least 2 new couples formed! Basically, I think EHarmony is a discriminatory piece of crap. Which would be okay if they were like the Jewish dating sites or something that acknowledge they're for a select group, but they pretend to be for everyone.
USMCHokie Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Mine states I am not religious, and I do not have this problem. Never have, in all the years I've been on the site. Several of my atheist friends have been turned away as well. Fairly recently. I think it depends HOW not religious you are, though. Yea, which is why I'm not 100% sure why I was denied, as I have heard so many conflicting stories about EHarmony...but it was so long ago, and I haven't tried again since. No big deal.
Author ivalm Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) Yea, which is why I'm not 100% sure why I was denied, as I have heard so many conflicting stories about EHarmony...but it was so long ago, and I haven't tried again since. No big deal. A business that consciously turns down customers? OK.. So, back to topic, it seems everyone think PoF is more of sex site and OKC is the way to go? Are there others? I know my facebook is getting spammed by zoosk advertisements.. Edit: But then I was also consistently getting weird advertisements about going to a for-profit college to get my something or other in 18 months so I can work is law enforcement (with pictures of soldiers in gasmasks and m16s) .. and facebook knows I'm in a graduate program too.. talk about silly product targeting. Edited January 2, 2011 by ivalm
Butterflying Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Two of my best friends met their husbands on dating websites. I haven't been so lucky. It's better to meet somone in the real world. In real life, people online are rarely what they make themselves out to be in cyber world. And a lot of people on these sites are married, in exclusive relationships, shallow, or just looking for some way to exscape real life. I think, if I actually do get lucky enough to marry somone I met online, in the back of my mind I'll wonder if they are still meeting people online even after we get married. Also, people who spend their free time surfing the web are usually anti-social. They lack the skill to make live face-to-face connections with other human beings romantically.
Author ivalm Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Also, people who spend their free time surfing the web are usually anti-social. They lack the skill to make live face-to-face connections with other human beings romantically. But you're on THIS site... which means you DO surf the web! I agree though, it's difficult to find (and actually to write) a realistic profile.
northern_sky Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) I've always been curious about these sites. Do young people (like, under 23) use these sites? If so, has anybody ever heard/had any experience with this? I can't help but think that people my age who would be using a dating site are probably damaged goods or crazy. I think dating is supposed to come natural/happen in natural social environments, but I'm not sure. I've considered trying one of them out just to meet some people, even if they are really unattractive or crazy, just to get some experience dating without relying on approaching people in the more usual situations. I'm 27. Literally EVERY SINGLE GUY I KNOW in my town is on OKCupid! The last time I looked at the site a couple of weeks ago, I was on the profile of one guy I dated over the fall (who I first met in real life), and the top suggestion for similar users was another guy I had dated briefly and also first met in real life! These guys are 25-28, all attractive, social, smart guys. I've heard from our resident female New Yorker Pandagirl that it's the same among the young crowd in NY...which is where I plan on living in the not too far future. Given that, it sort of makes sense for me to have a profile on the site, since it's like a catalogue of all the bachelors where I live. Almost like a dating version of FB. Not doing any dating for awhile, though, until I get my sht together. Don't know about the younger fellows. I think when you're in college it's far easier to find dates. Edited January 2, 2011 by northern_sky
alexlakeman Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 In my opinion, you get what you pay for; the free ones s)ck... granted, I did talk to two women from OKC, but I prefer the paid Match.... When I put an effort, I can get a phone # or two or three, that meet my criteria.. Right now , I have two ladies I've talked to, but due to $, have decided to just "surf" and set to favorites for the next 4-6 weeks, until things get better... Once you get YOUR profile and pics fine tuned, and pick and choose women you actually match and have some simliarities, plus put an effort in your email vs sending out generic emails to a dozen women; you'll get results, give that you are 1/2 way good looking... What do you guys and girls think? see above Which websites do you use (if you do online dating)? match What do you like about the websites you use? I get results Also, what gender/age group do you belong to? M/45 Location South East USA, a place where we do NOT get snow
i made a mess Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I was on PoF for about 6 months. I was very selective in who I replied to, and you'll find that on free sites, there are a lot more "interesting" people. The few people I did choose to meet, were really great guys - just not the guy for me. I did date one guy I met on PoF for several months. I used OKC for a few months, and while the set up and set up was a lot more modern, I found it mildly annoying with the instant messenger and the winks and what not. My rule with online dating is a max of 5 message exchanges and either choose to exchange numbers and meet fairly soon after that or stop contact. You can gauge a lot about someone by how they conduct themselves in the first few exchanges and phone conversations. I think too many people speak for so long before meeting, they build up this image in their head of how it will go when they meet and put a lot of expectation on to a first encounter. It often causes you to leave disappointed, or you've already talked so much before meeting, you don't have much to talk about when you finally meet so your date flat lines.
OceanGirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I only like OKC. I joined POF and got about 50 messages in first 24 hours and most were guys looking for sex. They were also saying things like What's up? or Wanna cum to my place tonite? I never logged in afterwards. I was on Match for a while and met a few men from there. Mostly, I found them to be businessy types that were not creative and kind of dumb. The intelligence level on that site is just I joined EH and filled in their questionare only for them to come back with the personality type that was clearly not me. I never went back. The only problem with OKC is that there are not enough men in my area and most are really just not datable. I have been trying to give them a shot anyway - with no success. I also found that for me, the longer I communicate with someone before the meeting, the better chance that I like them in person. This is mostly due to the fact that I have already invested time/energy into lengthy correspondence so unless a guy is drastically different from his profile/pics - I will like him. It is also that if I keep corresponding with him over a longer period of time, I at least like the way he writes and am not bored by him. If I meet a guy after I exchange few messages only, I have nothing invested. Unless he blows me away on the first date (which pretty much never happens) I am more inclined to just go meh and click on the next profile.
pandagirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I'm 27. Literally EVERY SINGLE GUY I KNOW in my town is on OKCupid! The last time I looked at the site a couple of weeks ago, I was on the profile of one guy I dated over the fall (who I first met in real life), and the top suggestion for similar users was another guy I had dated briefly and also first met in real life! These guys are 25-28, all attractive, social, smart guys. I've heard from our resident female New Yorker Pandagirl that it's the same among the young crowd in NY...which is where I plan on living in the not too far future. Yup! I'm a little older, but a lot of my friends are still in their 20s, and a good amount of them are on these dating sites. However, I will say you have to really be patient. I have one friend who finally landed herself a boyfriend after meeting 15-20 guys off dating sites, all of which ended up being duds. Still some people I know refuse to do online dating, which is just fine, because they still manage to meet lots of people. Also, some just do it to find easy sex. Some do it because they're bored. You'll find a mix of people. I met my last boyfriend on OKC, and we fell in love and had a short, but serious relationship. I have another friend who met her awesome bf on OKC and they're been together for almost two years now. Just as in real life, online dating is crapshoot. You might get lucky or not. I don't think it matters too much on the site.
january2010 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 About a month ago, out of curiosity, I dipped my toe in the water with OKC. Lots of 'great on paper' matches but I didn't feel that there was anyone I wanted to meet. I'm in the 30+ range based in London, UK. After using their search function, I realised from the results that I'm unlikely to find the kind of guy I'd be interested in dating on the site. I plan to focus on other things in 2011, so have abandoned my profile for the moment.
catgotyourtongue Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Hi Mid forties, and my single friends men and women, most of them are on match.com some are on eharmony. i dont know anyone on OKC but it is probably because we are older...maybe? Is OKC for younger adults? As far as finding people to date on online sites, it's like real life, if you do your homework, ask the right questions, engage in conversations that will help you learn, know the person a bit before meeting, they can be good. ALSO there is a lot of disaster stuff on that, lol, like run forrest run. i am very picky and very careful and still had a lot of really fk* up dates, with grown men. I had a bad spell that went like this, lol...it was over 6-8 months Three dates with some odd balls 1. SYBIL- we call him now, lol. flipped out on me at dinner, freaked out, told me he was not gonna pay the bill, said i was a friggin &*^%$% just like his ex, and walked out on the tab, lol...in which he ate and drank abt $75 worth of food..lol 2. GIRLFRIEND- the open, creative man, who loved art, theatre wine, he sounded great, we spoke for weeks, high executive with a laid back outlook..well he was gay. I mean really, I dont mean feminine, but gay. He disapeared on the date for half hour with some of my guy friends who happened to be at the same bar, lol..and the first leg he touched that evening was not mine. I am very liberal, VERY, just was hoping to date straight men, lol...ya know. I called him "girlfriend" cause he was like one of the girls.. 3. NINJA- he actually was a ninja, he was a fricken SAWT team guy. One hot and heavy date and then he was called off on duty to like guatemala or somewhere, lol to hide in the pillars, ceiling of houses and swoop down and bust crack addicts, with major weapons. Didnt work out, lol SO U gotta have a sense of humor and a lot of booze, lol BUT I dont think it's a bad way to date. Its a pain, its daunting, but it is what it is. I think the negative is that you dont really know where someone stands when you meet. Did they have two other dates this week, are they on a third date with another girl and a first with you...etc. It makes it hard to settle as often people are multi dating at least at first... I must admit, dated several men off match.com over a period of years...not a lot, but a few. AND two of these men became great boyfriends, both have remained good friends, and great people. I have also had a few casual dates that led to long term friendships..with good people. I think half of it is in what your post, who YOU say you are. If you post that you are a good time girl, party girl, likes to have fun, you will attract that type...but if you want a LTR with a good man, you may need to add other things to that mix. Just to say you like movies and dogs and bars, is well-not a lot. Put out what you really want, if its a LTR with a sensitive but fun guy, say that. Dont be shy...and also, read between the lines. A lot of profiles really are just that, a facade and mask...do your homework. I wont go out with someone without asking a lot of questions (not like, "how many brothers do you have?") but heavier or deeper questions, and I will email or talk for a week or more....two weeks...etc. Some guys wont wait that long, they hate it, but I refuse to just run out the door and meet any tom, dick and harry on impulse. DO your homework...
zengirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 In my opinion, you get what you pay for; the free ones s)ck... granted, I did talk to two women from OKC, but I prefer the paid Match.... When I put an effort, I can get a phone # or two or three, that meet my criteria.. Right now , I have two ladies I've talked to, but due to $, have decided to just "surf" and set to favorites for the next 4-6 weeks, until things get better... Once you get YOUR profile and pics fine tuned, and pick and choose women you actually match and have some simliarities, plus put an effort in your email vs sending out generic emails to a dozen women; you'll get results, give that you are 1/2 way good looking... What do you guys and girls think? see above Which websites do you use (if you do online dating)? match What do you like about the websites you use? I get results Also, what gender/age group do you belong to? M/45 Location South East USA, a place where we do NOT get snow I think age factors into this a lot. I think if you're above 35, OKC is less likely to work for you, and Match is more likely. All the guys on Match are generally either too old or too fuddy duddy for me. And they tend to be more materialistic. . . guess that makes sense if they're willing to pay for dating instead of using a free site. I think you get men who want to take you on more expensive dates off Match, but there were too many creepy guys that approached dating in such a transactional way on that site for my taste. There are a lot more men in their twenties and early thirties on OKC, a lot more liberals, as well as atheists/agnostics/Jews/alternative religions/not religious, which suits my taste. That's been true in Seoul, Tokyo, and the four major Southeast cities, I've lived in.
br0ken_w0lf Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I've only ever been on two myself: Lavalife (which I think is strictly Canadian) and Match.com. I kept hearing how POF was being used by many people as a hook-up method and having just heard a few new experiences of people on there last night, I'm speculative on the quality of people on there (not generalizing, only going on what I've heard). Lavalife was OK but it also has a hook-up section and I'm not into that; in addition, some people who contacted me have profiles in the hook-up and LRT sections, so what am I supposed to take away from that? Having said all that, I prefer Match.com by a landslide. People seem more focused since the common goal is a LTR; they just seem more serious which is what I'm looking for. Yeah, you have to pay, but it's not ridiculously expensive and can easily be paid for by skipping a few lattes in a year The only thing that confuses me is that they send me matches that are clearly out of my specified age range but whatever. BTW, I'll be meeting up with someone I met on there in the next week or so Re: the other info, I'm male, aged 35-39.
Recommended Posts