Do I go for it?

[MalachiX]

I'm not good at relationships (or dating period) and I havn't been in anything serious for a while. I'm also at a point in my life when I REALLY need to work hard and focus. Nevertheless, I've developed pretty strong feelings for a girl and I'm willing to take a risk and go for it but I feel like I've gotten mixed signals. I really need some feedback.

 

Let's start at the begining: In many ways I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now. I've gone back to school and am getting my MFA at the top film school in the country. I've adjusted to living in Los Angeles and ended up directing what most people told me was the best film from my class. I even am getting a small scholarship for next semester.

 

Early on I met this girl in my class who I was a little smitten with. She was smart, pretty, and a tad neurotic which is the closest to my type one can get. I tried to put her out of my head though because she was in my section which meant we had almost all our classes together and any awkwardness between us from a failed relationship would be miserable. Also, I was kind of shy.

 

I thought I had her out of my system until we were both asked by another student to help edit his film. As we worked on the project, I was really surprised how similar our instincts were in editing and about a lot of things. Later, we started giving each other feedback on our second films and I got the same feeling again. We seemed to click on a lot of other stuff too (some of it related to our future careers and other random things) and I really started to feel strongly about this girl.

 

The problem was that I got some very hot/cold vibes from her. She seemed super-friendly whenever we'd run into each other on campus and we'd talk for long periods of time. I always got what I thought were "good" signals from her when we were alone. When we'd see each other at parties however, things felt different. We'd still chat and were friendly but it always felt like there was something awkward between us. The oddest thing was that she'd hug other friends goodbye but not me. I know this seems like such a silly detail but I tend to have a lot of female friends who I am physically affectionate with and have never felt such awkwardness. She's also always call me by my last name (Mr ....) instead of my first which I could never understand.

 

I'd start to wonder if this girl even liked me as a friend but then we'd run into each other again and talk for a while and I'd feel the same connection. It got even weirder as we were wrapping up the semester and friend of mine and fellow classmate told me, "I think she has a thing for you." He claimed to have "sensed" it based on how she'd speak to me in class. This kind of threw me for a loop. As much as I'd like to believe it, it's hard to trust my friend's analysis because he's not good at reading people and I just assume me and the girl interact well in class because we have similar sensabilities when it comes to movies.

 

I was kind of left in this limbo as we both went home for the semester. We sent a few messages back and forth on Facebook and I proceeded to vent my frustration to my friends back home. Then, as I was driving a few nights ago, I got a random text from her asking "when are you going to mix me some drinks?" I used to bartend and we often compare notes on booze. I texted her back that I'd gladly exchange drinks for lessons in an editing program she'd promised to teach me and we agreed to meet up when we were both back in town.

 

This has really taken me by surprise and made me wonder if there might be something here. Early in the semester, she told me and some other friends that she had gotten creeped out by a different classmate who came onto her and kept trying to invite himself over to make her drinks. It feels to me like this is a "go for it moment" but I'm not sure if I'm just seeing it that way because I want to.

 

I really havn't felt this strongly about a girl in years. I also don't want to live my life as the shy guy who lets an amazing woman slip away because he's scared to take a risk. At the same time, I don't want to discover that I've totally misread this girl and end up alienating her. She's one of the smartest people I've met in Los Angeles and one of the only people whose opinions I trust (which is also part of the reason why I'm so attracted to her).

 

Thoughts?

[joeLove]

Too much thinking here ... you seem to be looking for a perfect mate ... doesn't exist. Sometimes , you don't need to over analyze everything. Just use your instinct/guts and go for it.

So thinking, stop asking yourself questions and just GO FOR IT. If she says no ... then you have gained plenty of experience ...

[MalachiX]

How dare you say I overthink things. I'm going go ponder that for a couple of hours and then write you a strongly worded letter. Good day sir!