llonia Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) I met a married guy in chat became close to him ..we would be on a yr but we just stopped seeing one another and his wife of 23 yrs wanted a divorce then when she found out about me wanted to sell the house and wanted out of the marriage..she found out about me and now she wants to make it work..after all his promises and lies after running my life from long distance he broke up with me..this whole thing reads out like a book ..im going to write the whole thing out..i know im wrong i know..alot will say i got what was coming to me:o Edited January 2, 2011 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
WifeCheatedOnMe Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) You got what was coming to you.. Seriously, it baffles me that you would expect anything but lies....He's a proven liar because he's been lieing to his wife. Do you think a serial liar picks and chooses who they lie to? No, it is part of their character and if he lies to his wife he will lie to you. If he cheats on his wife he will cheat on you. To expect anything more is ludicrous. Edited January 1, 2011 by WifeCheatedOnMe
dreamingoftigers Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 This is a fun exercise, try it: Fill in the blank: "You got what was _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ " Sorry for your pain. Honestly. But how many times do the ow/om crowd need to learn. You + Liar = you getting lied to ? Do you keep shopping at the same store if the prices are higher when you get to the register?
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 i more then anyone is aware of wht i have dont not only to myself but to his family as well and as bad as i want to tell his wife im not sure howYou got what was coming to you.. Seriously, it baffles me that you would expect anything but lies....He's a proven liar because he's been lieing to his wife. Do you think a serial liar picks and chooses who they lie to? No, it is part of their character and if he lies to his wife he will lie to you. If he cheats on his wife he will cheat on you. To expect anything more is ludicrous.
Distant78 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 i more then anyone is aware of wht i have dont not only to myself but to his family as well and as bad as i want to tell his wife im not sure how Just leave him and his wife alone. You had no business messing around with a married man anyway, and to assume you guys were in love is ridiculous. He's married and that should tell you all you need to know. He lied to his wife to mess around with you, so what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you.
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 i met this man and he didnt tell me he was married at first this relationship evolved into him sayin he wanted to marry me im not stupid and not asking for anyones sympathy at all..you sound like a woman whose man cheated on her ..do me a favor im gonna write the whole or most of it down wht happened with us over in ow/om and you tell me wht you think then..there so much more to this your head will spin
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 i more then anyone is aware of wht i have dont not only to myself but to his family as well and as bad as i want to tell his wife im not sure how I would write his wife an email or a letter. I would find a way to let her know for sure. Batch up your correspondence and send it to her, she deserves to know the loser she is living with. MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THAT YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS TO GET HIM TO BE WITH YOU. But the second you found out he was married, you should have backed right off, feelings notwithstanding. Who cares if he was "in love with you." If he turned out to be an axe murderer and was "in love with you" would you have thought, "well okay, I've been in love with him too, maybe he'll stop throwing axes at homeless people." No, you protect yourself and your integrity too. As soon as you discover someone is a lying wreck in a relationship for all you know they could be an axe murderer. Protect yourself.
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 first let me say im in a bad marriage and hes married too...my husband downloaded somthn on my lap top and it let this lil blinky head thing..thts how it all started i was talking to a nigerian guy from brussels..in chat and he was yrs younger and this guy named coolbreeze kept pming me..a pm is a form of one on one in a chat room he was a friend thts all as he kept talking to me i asked this friend do you know who he is and wht he looks like?? because in a chat we trade pictures like baseball cards..anywho i started talking to this man and we continued to talk with no strings..ust friends..he told me he had a wife who had 2 breasts removed i wasnt thinking about hooking up..we talked about kids over time and life and we wld talk crap to each other an one day i ask him to stop!! i think he wanted me to know he cld keep up with me..then we continued to keep chattn..about nothn..then we moved over to skype so we cld chat without all the hustle and buslte of a chatroom..he was a nice guy from corperate america..we were so very different then..over a couple months we grew closer and closer and knew everything about each other i tried to leave about 25 times over a yrs time..he started to tell me he grew apart over his 23 yrs and he no longer loved her and i believed him..not at first but it took some time i did then over months he told me he loved me we are states apart so i introduced him to skype and the first time i heard him i thought wow how country..he was polite and nice and we got along well..but it gets alot worse
Distant78 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Save the excuses. They don't matter. You should've divorced if the marriage was bad and it doesn't give you an excuse to cheat and mess around with a woman's husband, no matter what OM told you (which were obviously lies to suck you in).
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 he started to tell me he wasnt allowed to have a bachleor party and cldnt read certain magazines or watch certain tv or she wld get mad..i did get a red flag when he said they needed a marital aid because he cld no longer get excited with her..somehow over this time he ended up telln me he loved me and i asked why? he told me i was so different from his world and i was fresh air for him..im not justifying anything just telln the truth....well over the time we began a skype relationship it was my idea..after about 2 months ..at first he cldnt talk at home and he wld tell me wht time to wait in chat for him and i didnt at first but then i did..he began to get jealous and wanted to be on my blutooth all the time..when i shopped when i went to docs office when i washed dishes..his chat name was coolbreeze..he told me he wasnt happy anymore and was waitn for his 17 yr old to turn 18 im speeding through time now..we ended up knowing everything about each other after month 6 and he wld get angry and say i dont want your husband touching you...wich i thought was crazy..but after 21 yrs we dont spend much time in the same room anyway..his wife didnt even take notice till he was in his mancave too much and too long i had already asked him wht kind of plan were they using ? he told me a family plan..i told him you know were gonna get caught right?? and no sooner then i said this she checked online and had the company send the records..well it was phone book sized complete with calls txtn back and forth and pics..ive never been the kind to do this and neither has he he works pays golf works out and travels..i lost my life to this man at this point
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 im not making excuses..im simply telling my story its over and if your done bashing me i cld get it out..im not looking for your sympathy as i said before..you havnt got the whole story yet...also i wanted feed back thts why i havnt blocked you yet..its over and done im just telling the story ..im aware there are ppl like you sitting around waitn to give their 2 cents..if you give me a chance before i block your ass i promise ive got alot more for you to bash me about..
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 HELLOOO You are venting to people who already have said that you need to be accountable for your own actions. Alright, it sucks that you were in a bad marriage, but you are 50% of that marriage. It doesn't sound like he was saving his marriage either, just jerking around with you. You were both not trying to get "caught." If you weren't doing anything wrong you and he wouldn't have been "caught." You are an adult, these things don't "just happen." You are not a victim to the computer boogey man. You chose these things and now you reap the "rewards." Go fix your heart, stop doing stupid **** with men online and figure out what the hell you are going to do about your marriage. Stop hiding from your issues, deal with them. Pick yourself up, cut contact with this guy, let his wife know. AND MOVE ON. He isn't worth two marriages! Your bad marriage is your problem not whether or not he can get it up with his wife.
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 im looking for a way to tell her i have her phone number but i dont think thts the right way i also have her fb name..he threatned me tht if i ever cared about his kids why wld i do tht to his fam? ..she doesnt know everything tht happened when he came to visit me ...i repeat i dont want him he wasnt up to my physical or any other standards im pissed because he begged a good 25 times to suck me back in..saying i ruined his marriage ust so i cld take off on him and other sorts off bull..but now hes saying im gonna make my marriage work leave my family alone!!..i wont lie im pissed and i thin she shld know everything ..including the personal stuff he told me about her..her weight he surgeries..her suicide threats..i mean horrific stuff tht i wld never want him as a husband ..hes too weak for me..i wont say i didnt love him cause i did but i am angry..not expecting him to run back as a matter of fact he may do the same with my husband..im at a point where i dont care..my husband knows some of it already
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 first in foremost..you have your face on a website with your baby..being former law enforcement thts pretty dumb..and if you were cute i wld forgive ya ..me venting on here is my problem not yours missy..if i wanna sit and write hows it your problem?? isnt wht the room is for ya nut?? and btw i dont do things with men on line..men?? there was one..singular...are you his wife?? cause you sure sound like it..or mabey your hubby cheated on you..im venting thts all ..if anyone has anything else to say tht has been in my situation i welcome your comments...dream tend your husband before he finds someone like me:lmao:
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Then send her via facebook. She does deserve to know what an asshat her husband is. Then just get away from him and work on yourself.
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 im simply telling a story..dont get it twisted..i fell for a guy but in no pushover for some tht more then likely has been cheated on..tht i dont even know you cant break me down lady..first you have to matter..like i said..ANYONE THT HAS BEEN HERE FEED BACK IS WELCOMED
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 wonder why i didnt think of tht??...hellooo i did ..i dont need this lady knowing my name and ****..and my friends on facebook im only trying to tell her is all..she already threatned once to talk to my huband..i thought someone wld have a better wayto tell her
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 then she nows excatly where i am and all my info..not tht he wont get mad and tell her anyway
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 im simply telling a story..dont get it twisted..i fell for a guy but in no pushover for some tht more then likely has been cheated on..tht i dont even know you cant break me down lady..first you have to matter..like i said..ANYONE THT HAS BEEN HERE FEED BACK IS WELCOMED Infidelity chat is for anyone dealing with the subject on either side. I didn't realize that you were simply telling your story since you said that you were going to do that on the OW/OM board. I was offering advice, isn't that what you are here for? wonder why i didnt think of tht??...hellooo i did ..i dont need this lady knowing my name and ****..and my friends on facebook im only trying to tell her is all..she already threatned once to talk to my huband..i thought someone wld have a better wayto tell her Maybe create a fake fb account. I have one. I used to play fb games on it and it wouldn't clog my personal account. Just make a fake email address with yahoo or hotmail or something. I have one of those too, it protects my personal and business email from getting spammed to hell. Doesn't she already know who you are anyways? then she nows excatly where i am and all my info..not tht he wont get mad and tell her anyway Either way, if she digs, she will know. What are the odds she will go travel to get you? Perhaps you should tell your husband in case there is backlash even without you directly telling her.
whichwayisup Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 23 years of marriage vs a one year affair... Reality is above. Grieve him, heal and forget him. Focus on your husband, tell him the truth before your exMM wife does. Better for you in the long run to come clean.
alexandria35 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 How old are you? You sound very immature or very out of touch with reality. You think his wife needs to know about the affair but you don't think your husband does? Sounds like this poor woman is a breast cancer survivor and her husband said terrible things about her. Now you think this is awful but apparently you didn't before. This board isn't strictly for people in affairs, it's also for the betrayed and actually it is mostly the betrayed who post here so no need for you to be nasty and insulting to Dreaming. She was listening and trying to be helpful. Your comments to her were rude and uncalled for.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Enh, I was a little rude too, I am having kind of a "be rude on loveshack" night. Not too bad of one, but still....
Author llonia Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 as far as telling his wife..i inboxed her and told her i was sorry and only had his side of wht their marriage was and if she had any questions she could call me...only because..im sure he threw me under the bus and told her some bull about me..as for my husband he knows already..if she only knew half of the stuff he told me about her..and at one point he told his son that they were divorcing and he had a friend he was talking to..i kept saying dont do tht..plz do not tell your son anything!! then he puts the 17 yr old on the phone..i was floored...i knew it was also because he was drinking and all excited..the next day he felt so bad about it and as usual i helped him through it..i dont want him ..hes a bit weak for my taste ive come to find out and he used me to revive his marriage..i have not put down everything that went on and btw his wife never had cancer..he also told me they are in counceling to work things out...when she had her affair he begged her to stay and never forgave her for it..i asked wht was counceling gonna fix if hes going in to tell lies from the start??,,if she knew half off what he told me i guarntee she wouldnt stay with him...im kinda rethinking telling her anything now tht i left her a msg..again i dont want this man so why not let him keep going on with his lies?
alexandria35 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Why did she have her breast removed if she didn't have cancer? Was that a lie MM told you? What would motivate him to lie about something like that? He really does sound like a creep. If his wife does contact you I think you should tell her everything. You say your husband knows some things and it sounds like his wife knows some things. The best way for everyone to make decisions and get a fresh start is to give everyone the truth. This way nobody is working on their marriages or getting divorced based on false information.
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