NatNat Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 I have recently been married less than a year. A couple months before I was about to get married I have some falling out with my in laws (its fine now) but at the time is put so much strain on our relationship. Before all that went down I had already been thinking that I have not even lived my life to the fullest and here I am getting married when I can count the amount of guys I slept with on ONE hand. I always was in a relationship growing up and I was also so very faithful. When I meant my husband I was head over heals he was everything I have ever asked for. Months before the wedding I st rated to freak out and I could see myself flirting more with men I came in contact with and also reaching out to other guys to make myself more available. 2 months before the wedding I went out for some drinking with a neighbor and we hit it off and ended up kissing and that's it. We saw eachother a couple times more but I wouldn't have sex with him. We then stopped hanging out but still shot eachother texts here and there and he would say things like he wanted to see me and blah blah blah. I get married and then after getting married this married man (in the same situation I am in) wanted to hangout so I did but he was not my type all we did was kiss and I never hungout with him again. But it would have been a perfect situation because he married and we would understand eachother more better than the other guy (which is single) so just recently I hung out with that guy again we had way to many drinks...he brought me back to his house and ummmm yeah...it happend. Soo anyways///Ive been feeling really guilty. I will catch myself waver back and forth on how I feel about the situation. Ill tell myself it was horrible of me but then I will tell my self that you only live one life and to just have fun. We don't have any kids. Maybe I am sick to some people but I want to keep my home life but have other men on the side to have fun. I simply want my cake and eat it too. My husband *is away a lot for work* and also our sex life is not the best. Maybe that's why I have been push to be like this along with thinking I have not experienced life to the fullest before getting married. I would personally like to know what this guy or guys in general thinks of this entire situation because he does not communicated very well. He is a single guy and very good looking and I always ask him why hes not with anyone and he tells me because he has commitment issues. With that being said I think that would be a perfect situation because if he has commitment issues ...HELLO I am not looking for commitment so we can just hangout and have a good time but I don't want him to look down on me since I am married woman having sex with him.
whichwayisup Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 I think you should first get divorced, obviously getting married was a big mistake, you're acting like you're single...And you're not! Either way, you need to talk to your husband, tell him what you've been doing. Maybe he'll be okay with having an open marriage that way he can sleep with other women. Or maybe it'd be more fair to let him in on your activities so he can decide if he wants to stay married.
Darth Vader Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I think you should first get divorced, obviously getting married was a big mistake, you're acting like you're single...And you're not! Either way, you need to talk to your husband, tell him what you've been doing. Maybe he'll be okay with having an open marriage that way he can sleep with other women. Or maybe it'd be more fair to let him in on your activities so he can decide if he wants to stay married. I agree with the poster above, you need to stop being a cake eater and tell your husband the truth! If your hubby cheated on you like this, how would you feel? How would you react? Why should you get all the fun riding other men while your husband has to remain faithful to you? Why does he have to be exposed to AIDS!? Your husband deserves better than you, and needs to drop your ASS!
Author NatNat Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 wow, its crazy to hear every ones story on the other end. I am a married woman having a "A" with a man 4 years younger than me. I read every ones post and hear every ones other side of the story. You all wonder what your "MM" is thinking well I'm wonder what my single man is thinking. Maybe I could help you with what the married people are thinking and you all can help me with that he is thinking about everything and how I am Married. Here is my story on how we meant. He came to my place of work and talked to one of my co workers and immediately asked my coworker "who is she" my co worker said she is engaged and getting married soon. He then saw one of my coworker out at a bar and brought up my name to her and said how he likes me. She also brought up again I am getting married and he obviously didn't care. He would come into my work here and there and flirt with me. I always thought he was super attractive. Then one day I go on *SNS* and look him up and found him and added him as a friend. Later that day he sent me a message saying we should hangout. I told him my sister was coming into town and is about the same age as him and I think he would like her. He was like ohhh that's awesome lets meet up then. So when my younger sister came into town we went over to his place and had some drinks and then we out to bars in the area. We had lots to drink and he whispered in my ear saying I never wanted you sister I wanted you. We started to kiss and that led all night then he brought me back to his place. We didn't do anything but kiss and his saw my ta tas! I went home that night. After that night he text me EVERYDAY for a week straight. Back and forth we were kinda falling fast. I saw him 2 more times that week once just stopped by to say hey because he was not feeling good and another night to go over and watch a movie. Both those times we would just kiss and that's it. After we had made plans for the next week to go to the beach or do something he was suppose to contact me and we would plan it out and he never did. This was a couple months before my wedding and he would make comments like aghhhh whyyy do you have to get married? Soo we didn't talk for a few months (him knowing I was about to get married) I think he freaked out or maybe didn't want to get involved because I was about to get married. So after I got married I text him to see how he was. He told me he kinda missed me, I told him I felt the same way. We would talk through text for a few months and he said he wanted to see me so I told him I would like to see him to but after the holidays (after my husband left for work) he said why so long why not sooner? I said ok I will make it happen. I texted him a week later saying I was going out Wednesday night and asked if he would like to meet up. He texted me back right away and said yes lets hangout. He text me one other day before we hung out just to say hi. Wednesday came and I went out to his house for drinks. Then we went out he drove I sat up front whille his 2 friends said it the back. We got to this one bar and I was freezing he took of his jacket and put it over me to keep me warm. Then the more we drank the more closer we go to one another. We started to kiss and all over each other these 2 girls walked by us and said we were such a cute couple. He was like tooo bad she is....and Im like shhhhhh he was going to say "to bad she is married" But we got told a couple times that night we were a cute couple. He was like Im tired lets go...so we go back to his house. On the way home I asked him why the heck he is single. He told me straight up he had commitment issues. I asked why him and he told me because he was adopted and dont know who his parents are. I said OMG I had no idea. He think he thinks that's what lead him to be the way he is. In the back of my head I was like wow this is a good thing for me because I am not trying to commit bc I am married and not trying to be in a relationship with him. Anyways, we get home and I don't know what got into me....probably the drinks and what i truly wanted to do came out. I pulled down his pants and ehhh yeah...and he did the same to me then clothes went flying and it happened. He brought me to his bed after when all my clothes were scatted all over the apartment and we both PASSED OUT. I wake up to my cell phone ringing...I asked him what time it was he said 5AM OMG my husband wakes up at 4:30 to go to work. HOLY CRAP! I go home and smooth it out. He text me later that morning asking if everything was ok I said yes. Then he told me he couldn't get this smile off his face about the night we had together. I said I have no idea what to even say about it all. He then text me later that night saying have a good night. I have not talked to him since (Thursday) through text. I want to keep this going but I wonder what he is even thinking. I have this connection with him. I wonder if he feels the same way? I wonder what he thinks just like you all wonder what your "MM" thinks? I know I am the one that has to make moves to make this happen if its what I want because I am the Married woman not him. I wonder if he wants to keep this going? I wonder if he wants to text me but isn't because he is waiting for me too? Believe me just because you are on the other side of the fence does not mean your "MM" is not thinking about you or thinking what you are thinking. What do you all think? I would love to hear your thoughts?
TaraMaiden Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 You don't get it. We don't care. There are single people on here, engaged people and married people. Some people have been all three, so don't think you can target a single audience, because it doesn't work that way.... The bottom line is, you are cheating, and betraying and lying to your husband. You should never have married him in the first place. You're dishonest and deceitful and flowering it all up with how it all began, and how you met, really doesn't matter diddly-squat, and nor does it affect our advice. Divorce your husband, let him go find someone worthy of his love, and you go on with your 'single man'. Got it??
BB07 Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 What do you all think? I would love to hear your thoughts? I think there is nothing special about the story your describe, it's just an attraction with all the stuff that goes along with it. I think you didn't mention your husband at all, so I think you don't really give a **** about your marriage, so why not divorce him and go have your fun and then you don't have any complications.
Keridan Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Just one more vote for not being selfish, cruel, and treating your husband like crap. He made a commitment to you based on you making a commitment to him. You lied and he didn't and he has to suffer for that? Wow .. just wow. Just divorce the poor guy and send him to this website to find comfort. He deserves better. I hope you didn't post here thinking you would get told it's okay and feel free to keep cheating as long as you can justify it to yourself. Normally, I try to end a post by wishing the OP the best of luck. I'm gonna wish it to your hubby this time.
Recommended Posts