rhonian Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 what is the worst thing YOU ever did to THEM during the course of your relationship what would it be? (whether you feel you were right or wrong) Mine was, She was diagnosed with a disease called Myasthenia Gravis in Jan 09. MG attacks the immune system. Symptoms such as difficulty breathing, excessive fatigue, drooping eyes, etc. She was scheduled for surgery in mid-February but the day before the surgery her and I got into this huge fight and I ended up moving out and did not show up for the surgery the next morning. The surgery requires a 10" incision straight down the center of her chest, cutting her breastbone and removing a tumor that was on her thymus gland that they thought could be cancer. It was cancerous but they got to it in time. I feel so guilty about not being there to this day and the fact that I couldnt overlook the "small" argument and do the right thing to be there for her surgery. Definitely a mistake I made in my relationship. Next..... Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) Worst thing I ever did to my EX was... I was an awesome boyfriend and treated her like the little princess she is! Was I perfect? No. Did I make mistakes? Yes. My EX needed to grow up, experience the world on her own, figure out who she is and what she wants in life, etc. I agree with her and her decision! Edited January 1, 2011 by homebrew Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 My ex would say that it was cheating on him. My current boyfriend would say being pessimistic about the future at times. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 I was too busy the last few years of our r/ship, he felt unloved and un-needed, neglected, I've learnt from it and am not making the same mistakes again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 (edited) S Would probably say the worst thing I ever did to her was making her feel bad about herself. She once told me that my successes made her look bad and feel bad about herself. Educationally in particular... we started in the same place... and I went so much farther. To boot when we last were with eachother I was going to just get a job and work to support her through school... at least a four year degree. So that she could be all she could be. Then I was shooed away and cut off like I did something wrong... because she could do better... than a black man. Once again I'll bet I inadvertently made her feel bad about herself. Since I have become everything I wanted to become, she hasn't. Just writing this much breaks my freaking heart. If she was a success in the rest of her life, I would actually feel so much freaking better about the whole situation. Edited January 1, 2011 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author rhonian Posted January 1, 2011 Author Share Posted January 1, 2011 Sounds like you really care for her, still. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 I have come to accept that I probably always will on some level. I'm not done trying...I'm just done for the time being. I need to focus on me and what I have to do. I just hope she has the sense not to go an marry that guy or have his child... It'll be the biggest mistake of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Hades Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 If your EX or SO were asked....... what is the worst thing YOU ever did to THEM during the course of your relationship what would it be? (whether you feel you were right or wrong) 1. He would say that *I* sabotaged our relationship. 2. Left him when he went to jail. Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 If your EX or SO were asked....... what is the worst thing YOU ever did to THEM during the course of your relationship what would it be? (whether you feel you were right or wrong) 1. He would say that *I* sabotaged our relationship. 2. Left him when he went to jail. He sounds like a GEM! No wonder I am having such a hard time meeting quality women... because guys like him are taking them all (when he is not in jail)!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Hades Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 He sounds like a GEM! No wonder I am having such a hard time meeting quality women... because guys like him are taking them all (when he is not in jail)!!!! Haaa! Yes, a real winner! Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted January 2, 2011 Share Posted January 2, 2011 - Wasn't able to hang out with her when she demanded to - Didn't eat her cake Link to post Share on other sites
homebrew Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 - Wasn't able to hang out with her when she demanded to - Didn't eat her cake She wanted to have her cake and eat it too! Sorry Username37... I can't help myself! Link to post Share on other sites
Keridan Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 I have two issues in this thread. One is that it's really hard not to make a snarky comment about how being perfect was really hard for them to deal with The other is that my ex and so would have different answers. In the past, I've committed crimes ranging from just running too quickly to letting my insecurities make a good woman feel bad about herself. I have learned from those experiences, but I still find new mistakes to make. I probably should let tact win more often than I do because of my belief in not letting BS slide. It's probably made me a meanie more often than I realize. Problem is, if we know the mistakes when we are making them, they would be much easier to correct. We rarely have that insight so I couldn't tell you my current ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Jdw_Icequeen Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Mine would say I was to negative about things so I added to the stress.. I called it being realistic.. Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 1.speaking to women inappropriately on myspace (two years ago which is my BIGGEST REGRET) 2. Taking her for granted and not trying 110%. This could be an ugly thread but if we all are honest with ourselves. Then we can learn from each others mistakes. I really wish I could change my situation but I can't. The future however is a different story. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshoping Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) The biggest regret I have is not introducing her to my family. She didn't want to meet them in the first 2 years anyways so it wasn't a big deal. But the weekend of her meeting them, she broke up with me. Probably for the best as my parents seem to scare away any girl Ive brought home in the past by just acting mean to them. This is what stopped me. I am kinda glad I didn't as when she cheated on me my rents had a field day telling me they would have known just by looking at her. I just wish they could be nice and accept my long term girlfriends, somehow they feel its a threat to them, act distant, make no conversation, and occasionally say mean things. Why? The last three girls to meet my parents left and breathed a sigh of relief, as did I. Its such a catch 22, introduce them, they hate my parents, don't introduce them, they hate me. Perhaps its a good thing she cheated on me and left, I'm sure the guy she got with will have parents who are accepting of people a lot more. I just need to sort my parents out before I meet some one else as this really cant go on. Lately they just keep saying only introduce us to a girl you want to marry, anything else is just wasting our time? Yet they let my sisters bring home anyone they want! I wish I had just introduced her. I would have dumped me for such silly parent/son problems. Useless. Child like even. oh well the next girl can meet them regardless and will have to just speak to them with a barrel of salt. They are normally so nice, they are not all bad but seem to get really defensive (as do my sisters) if I ever bring a girl home. Oh well, each person has there own problems. On a side note: I also didn't introduce her because she was constantly with other guys, getting texts, speaking to ex's etc getting told she was beautiful, they loved her, to dump me etc, and she was loving it. I just couldn't imagine my life with her if she carried on this way. She did and then cheated even though she knew how much it hurt me, the weekend before meeting the rents, which is a difficult step for me. I know I probably deserved everything I got, but I really tried and honestly treated her better than I treated ,myself. I just wish she loved me enough to stop seeking attention from other guys for the entire 2 1/2 year relationship. I regret waiting so long to introduce her. Apart from that (although it is a HUGE thing) I treated her like a princess. Edited January 3, 2011 by alwayshoping Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 (edited) On a side note: I also didn't introduce her because she was constantly with other guys, getting texts, speaking to ex's etc getting told she was beautiful, they loved her, to dump me etc, and she was loving it. I just couldn't imagine my life with her if she carried on this way. She did and then cheated even though she knew how much it hurt me, the weekend before meeting the rents, which is a difficult step for me. I know I probably deserved everything I got, but I really tried and honestly treated her better than I treated ,myself. I just wish she loved me enough to stop seeking attention from other guys for the entire 2 1/2 year relationship. I regret waiting so long to introduce her. Apart from that (although it is a HUGE thing) I treated her like a princess. I know what that could be like... since I have of late been one of those guys. Their are only two ways to protect yourself from such a woman. Either don't date them, or don't expect them to be 100% faithful in the long run and be as big of a bastard as they are. One more thing... you did not deserve any of what was done to you. It's just the nature of certain women do behave in that fashion. In some cases it rises to the level of a personality disorder known as Histrionic Personality Disorder. In essence she was a pathological drama queen. Does any of this sound familiar? http://www.healblog.net/psychology/how-to-diagnose-histrionic-personality-disorder/ Edited January 3, 2011 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshoping Posted January 3, 2011 Share Posted January 3, 2011 Im not sure it sounds familiar. She did do a lot of what was described. I still feel partly responsible for dragging out her intro to the rents. I guess I know for the future now that I shouldn't be such a coward as she really wanted to meet them at the end. So I agreed and then she cheated (well I believe she did) and dumped me. I just wish she dumped me first, I at least deserved that much. She was a drama queen. That I cannot deny, and always complained about everything, I suppose she was borderline histrionic. I just think if my sister didn't get introduced to a guys rents after 2 years I would tell her something was up, and he couldn't love her. The irony is I didn't introduce her, yet loved her more than anything in this world. I just wish she could see that. She said things got boring in the end, coupled with distance (and the guy who text her, telling her to dump me), she had to end things. She said I could never forgive her for the text I read and so 2nd chances were out of the question. Then she kept telling me I could do so much better than her, and I figured something with this guy must of happened. Afterall when she got the text and we both read it, she deleted it straight away like her phone would explode in 2 seconds if she did not, very suspicious. Oh well. I guess closure will never come, and just hope time allows me to learn and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 your ex and my ex sound so much alike alwayshopping, mine told me i was a cheater and that I do better without her in my life, that she hasn't cried over me and I would hold a special place in her heart but she wanted to try with someone else... Then the bottom fell out and her dirty little secret came out. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayshoping Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 coltsfan, yeah I just think if they have the balls to cheat, they should have the balls to tell us, because secrets like that always come out. I just hope one day she regrets the manner in which she broke my heart. Its really going to take a long time to heal. She wanted to be friends afterwards, but after hearing her bitch about her other ex's who were mates, I wouldn't relegate myself to such a position. One day when all the dust clears perhaps we can, but right now my little heart isn't back together yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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