What if I love him but don't want to ruin our friendship? What do u recommend I do? I

[joseyposie1]

There is this guy. I've known him for a long time. We were friends and had sex before his marriage and have stayed close friends and no sex during his marriage just long distance friendship via email since we live 4 hrs away and see each other every so many years. I see him go through a crappy marriage and see him get hurt and it kills me to see it. I love him more than anything and I think he just likes me as a friend since he tells me that I am in emails. He hasn't given me any gifts since we last met 3.5 yrs ago. I don't want to mess up our great friendship since I put alot into this relationship and he is my only friend since I am alone and that his dad just died and him and his wife are seperating and getting a divorce. I want to trust him and tell him that I love him one day after he is over all this drama with his wife and divorce. He told me he got me a present and then when I asked him what it was he said it will be here waiting for you to open it .I asked him what it was and then he said it was him in a red bow. I want a real present. Friends give gifts too. Why don't I get one ? We talk daily via email and now he wants me to call him anytime. I called him a few times and he was busy moving out the house him and his wife were living in since he is leasing it out. He called me back and talked to me 1.5 hrs. I told him that he needs to come down and visit me now since I have went up there 3x now .He told me he would when he gets settled in and moved back home.

This week he told me his text on his cell was broken and last nite he texted me Happy New Year and his text works. I am upset that I think he lied about his phone being broke. I am scared he lied about other things too. I want to trust him and I don;t want to look like I am insecure too. Should i just tell him I want to know what is going on or should I just let go till everything blows over till he is moved in. Having a death of his dad and a seperation is enough. I don't think I need to put this on him too me being in love with him and him not lying to me too. What should I do?

[i made a mess]

There is this guy. I've known him for a long time. We were friends and had sex before his marriage and have stayed close friends and no sex during his marriage just long distance friendship via email since we live 4 hrs away and see each other every so many years. I see him go through a crappy marriage and see him get hurt and it kills me to see it. I love him more than anything and I think he just likes me as a friend since he tells me that I am in emails. He hasn't given me any gifts since we last met 3.5 yrs ago. I don't want to mess up our great friendship since I put alot into this relationship and he is my only friend since I am alone and that his dad just died and him and his wife are seperating and getting a divorce. I want to trust him and tell him that I love him one day after he is over all this drama with his wife and divorce. He told me he got me a present and then when I asked him what it was he said it will be here waiting for you to open it .I asked him what it was and then he said it was him in a red bow. I want a real present. Friends give gifts too. Why don't I get one ? We talk daily via email and now he wants me to call him anytime. I called him a few times and he was busy moving out the house him and his wife were living in since he is leasing it out. He called me back and talked to me 1.5 hrs. I told him that he needs to come down and visit me now since I have went up there 3x now .He told me he would when he gets settled in and moved back home.

This week he told me his text on his cell was broken and last nite he texted me Happy New Year and his text works. I am upset that I think he lied about his phone being broke. I am scared he lied about other things too. I want to trust him and I don;t want to look like I am insecure too. Should i just tell him I want to know what is going on or should I just let go till everything blows over till he is moved in. Having a death of his dad and a seperation is enough. I don't think I need to put this on him too me being in love with him and him not lying to me too. What should I do?

 

It sounds like he's rebounding right now. If you have true feelings for him, as you say you do, then you do NOT want to be his rebound girl. Be supportive by acknowledging that he's going through a hard time right now with the divorce and his dad, but that you value him as a friend too much to go there with him. When he has had time to properly deal with everything going on in his life, which could be months, you could possibly test the waters of going on a date and seeing where it goes.

 

You definitely do not want to be pouring your heart out right now. And you do not want to be sleeping with him right now, unless your intention is just to be a booty call while he's rebounding.

 

Best of luck to you.