Sonolumino Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 I saw them together. Blood boiling, heart racing. I luckily at the exact same time got a call so I used that as a distraction. I just can't help but thinking "What does this guy have that I don't have?". I am definitely better looking, but he's taller. Is he more intelligent? A better person or boyfriend? Better in bed? The image of them sleeping together is burned into my mind. It infuriates me still and it's been 3 months. I don't know. I thought I was better than this, I thought I was passed this. I've been working out, have stayed completely NC, tried to better myself, tried to meet other girls, but that was just too much for some reason. I was and am doing my best to move on and get her out of my head, but I literally fantasized about beating him to death after they passed. Very caveman-like right? What is wrong with me? Why can't I shake this? I thought I was doing everything right. It feels a little like day 1 again. In the beginning I embraced the pain, I didn't shut it out, I accepted it 100%. Now, I don't want to feel the pain anymore. Enough's enough. I don't think there's anything I can learn anymore from this intense emotional pain. What am I missing?
Fern Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 It's only been 3 months. Go easy on yourself. I'm split 5 months and it still bothers me a bit seeing them together but nowhere NEAR as much as it did 2 months ago. It just takes time.
Author Sonolumino Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Thanks, I guess I just need more time. Is there anything you did special during months 3-5? Or did you settle into a routine?
homebrew Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Thanks, I guess I just need more time. Is there anything you did special during months 3-5? Or did you settle into a routine? I'm a long way out from my break up... but running into her with a new dude. That would SUCK! I wouldn't think you were human if it didn't wack you out!
Fern Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Thanks, I guess I just need more time. Is there anything you did special during months 3-5? Or did you settle into a routine? Positive thinking and not letting the rose-tinted glasses creep on about your ex. Keep remembering the bad stuff!
Leandro Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I know what you mean man. Like a month after my break up I saw him and knew she was somewhere around there. I looked the other way and my mom said she was there, and that she kept looking at me. My blood pressure wasn't high, I was just very very weak. She still hung out all over him knowing i was right there, and I couldn't leave. I had stuff to take care of. But it does get better man. It really does. I hear you about the height thing too. I'm better looking too and he is way taller too. Like 7 something. So that tore my ego apart, but oh well. Just have to except out heights, lol. You'll be fine.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Don't beat yourself up about it, it is normal and we are wired that way. This is not a sign that NC isn't working. In fact if you weren't NC you would be dragging yourself through this more often. What does he have that you don't? For the moment: her attention and probably temporarily. I honestly don't know how I would react to seeing my ex with someone else to this day. And I've been married for 5 years after being with him! Our brains just play these evolutionary tricks on us, it doesn't mean we've lost the most special thing that is ever going to happen to us, it just means we used to live in caves and club other people on the head.
Author Sonolumino Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Our brains just play these evolutionary tricks on us, it doesn't mean we've lost the most special thing that is ever going to happen to us, it just means we used to live in caves and club other people on the head. Thank you for this. We were together for 3.5 years and it's been a roller coaster ride trying to shake this. Thankfully I leave town today and go back to where I live so this won't happen again.
Akumark Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Yeah keep it up, I had the ''chance'' to bumb into the guy that replaced me last night at a bar, when I saw him my eyes almost poped out of my head. I was with two friends and my female friend told me : he's smaller than you and look like a hunchback, my guy friend said : he's better looking than you, have cool tatoos all over his body, have lots of style and is a barman, you lose bro. We laugh it off and left, I was so happy to have some friends close by
Recommended Posts