Bluemug Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Hiya Need some help decoding this one. About 8 weeks ago my ex left me, claiming that I was the main cause of his stress, and that his mother felt I was manipulating him (doesn't matter that she spent 9 months of the relationship bullying me!). He insisted that we be friends as we were best friends before we started dating. Tried this for a while but after 2 weeks I decided it was unhealthy and destroyed the friendship. Or so i thought. Anyway, a bit of background. My boyfriend was the type who one day said he loved me, and then next said he wasn't sure. It annoyed me but I lived with it. He never introduced me to his friends unless it was by chance and this didn't bother him at all (my one protest in our relationship was this arrangement - to me friends were important). He's recently started a new job that is a bit of a step down from his old, and moved into a house he can only just afford. On NYE I was woken up by the surprise arrival of the postman, snowed off for the last two weeks. After 6 weeks of silence my idiot of an ex sent me a christmas card (more significantly not one from a box of cards, he's never bought me a card before). in it he basically hopes that it was ok for him to send a card and wishing me a happy christmas etc. i spent most of yesterday wondering what the heck to do, ignore it or thank him? well, i thank him via the magical text and, hey presto, no response.... i mean what the hell? i tore myself apart when i had to tell him to stop contacting me. Why the heck is he contacting me? if he wants me to talk why the heck didn't he respond to my text? seriously kicking myself for even bothering to now............. gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry about the rant
january2010 Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 No, he doesn't want to talk. He was just "tugging on the leash" to see if you were still there. You responded and that's all he needed out of you. I suggest going to full NC (delete and block) and ignore him the next time he snail mails something to you. As you've now realised every new contact/piece of news = a new hurt, sending your healing a few steps backwards. You don't need that. You've gone NC before and can do it again.
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