Woggle Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Someone with your issues really should stay out of the Cheating forums, man. They can't be good for you. That **** depresses me, and I've never really been cheated on or mistreated by a man and don't have a lot of overall bitterness. (I mean, jerks of either gender annoy me.) If you think that is bad I have visited several other forums seperate from loveshack dedicated to cheating bragging about their affairs. I have seen some women hate women after visiting those boards. The fact of the matter is that I do not feel strong enough to let go of this bitterness without becoming a doormat. I don't know what to put in it's place. I will fully admit I am weak.
zengirl Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 If you think that is bad I have visited several other forums seperate from loveshack dedicated to cheating bragging about their affairs. I have seen some women hate women after visiting those boards. The fact of the matter is that I do not feel strong enough to let go of this bitterness without becoming a doormat. I don't know what to put in it's place. I will fully admit I am weak. Self-respect. Not that I'm saying you don't have self-respect or attacking you, but you don't need bitterness. Self-respect and trusting yourself is enough to stop anyone from becoming a doormat.
Pyro Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Had I been there I would have done the same. Cheers to those who can appreciate having a great SO in their lives.
Author catgotyourtongue Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 But Woggle your hate will not stop this, that's all You can replace one ounce or 10% of the bitterness...you just could be a person who still has doubt, fear, anger but has it only 50% of the time, or less. That is the point you are missing. Lots of people who have been hurt, and brutally, will always hold on to "some" level of bitterness, fear, it will shape their behavior. But you have to choose to want life more than bitterness. I generally don't trust men as far as I can throw them. I make blanket statements abt them because a "few" have been untrustworthy and it is easy to peg them all then, which is not fair. AS you know from LS many men have been burned. so have women. Some of the women on LS might just be bitter and blah toward men because of similar hurt and betrayel that was done to them. To keep saying how much you HATE this or that only gives it more power. HOW about replacing some of the anger and rage with a proponent for men....as you are. BUT you being a proponent for them comes out as ALL WOMEN will screw you, f* with you etc. If you spent that time trying to help women and men see how and why the behavior and betrayel hurts, rather than hating on all women, it might help. For instance: when you see a thread from me let's just say, like this one, be happy and give a "shout out" so to speak, to open your mind to some women who are kind toward men. Celebrate that, you dont need to automatically make an "I had some nice experiences with men post" turn into your personal vendeta against women. This thread has become abt how horrid and non trusting women are, and it was about how good some men can be. So how is this even the same thing...??? How bout consider this: 1. People will cheat, you cant stop it 2. You are on a dating site where there is a whole section for cheaters, avoid it. Just save your rage for other things, its fuel for fire 3. You are on a dating site period, you will hear way more bad stories than good....regardless...SUPPORT the good and encourage it TRY THIS: If you see a post, that's really harsh (not like this thread, which again SUPPORTS men) and is abt things that could use your input, post some reasons why this sort of behavior (coniving women, etc) hurts men. If someone is disrespectful, they use the bad energy or hostile energy to encourage someome to use better behavior.... you can say things like "when you disrespect a man like that or treat him that way, it makes him feel like, xyz, or it can have some lasting negative effects on..... Maybe you can use your rage to show women in a healthy tone, words, why it feels bad, hard, wrong..and show them the results of this. In reality Wogs, you are too bitter and hurt I think to do this, and have no reason to want to...your bitterness is something you want and are proud of because you think your rage is helping men...and punishing women, buts it really just slowy eating away at you, and it unfairly paints us all with same brush. You know in your heart, that there are semi decent women, you just choose to be angry at all or most cause it feels good. YOU feel in control when you are angry, letting down those walls would make u feel weak. Your choice. There are lots of things you can do to replace a small part of the bitterness, as it takes a hell of a lot of time to stay this mad and want to lash out at women and post how much you hate something. Posting your hate in the way I am not sure is protecting men in the way you want. YES there are other men on here, very hurt by women, so maybe instead of just hating on women, you can say encouraging, kind words to hurt men, not abt how horrid women are, but abt how you can relate and feel their pain, and help give them examples of ways to help themselves through...hate breeds hate. If you are here telling all men to hate women, it just breeds a bigger world of hate, and is that the legacy you want?? Its very self serving even though you feel your are protecting men, how bout giving props to good women, telling them good things, and avoiding the bad seeds as much as possible. This hate will stretch out to your job, life in so many ways, it will end up fk* you in the end. If you have a female boss, with some expectations from you, you may feel its control or whatever, and it could totally negatively affect your job, etc etc etc. So hating on most does not serve you well. DONT date or marry a coniving wench, dont be friends with users, and celebrate small victories. ALL this hate is going to destroy your marriage if you dont look at it another way. It's not giving that a fair chance really. Talk abt how it feels sometimes to have a good wife, or a good exp on LS and stop obsessing abt all the negative...the tension is high...lessen it buddy.... If you are dead seat on just being bitter and warning all men abt BAD women you further bridge the gap between us, rather than trying to help men find better relationships, or help them through a rough patch... replace the energy and time with other things like 1. volunteering at a mens group home 2. find a hobby 3. write a journal abt your feelings and try and see another viewpoint 4. do something you love, ie music, hiking, 5. meditate, it can help... 6. you are letting the bad seeds win by being this angry, choose that you want to conquer some of this rage by becoming a better person yourself... 7. when you see behavior you like, support it 8. post threads about "hey ladies, who me how you love on your men" 9. or..."if you are dating a good guy, what do like about it...." or "what was the best guy you ever dated and why" and maybe you will just see that this world is not totally the way you feel it is all the time live life now and enjoy what you can dude..bitterness will kill ya in time If you think that is bad I have visited several other forums seperate from loveshack dedicated to cheating bragging about their affairs. I have seen some women hate women after visiting those boards. The fact of the matter is that I do not feel strong enough to let go of this bitterness without becoming a doormat. I don't know what to put in it's place. I will fully admit I am weak.
Author catgotyourtongue Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Thanks for your input. Cheers Had I been there I would have done the same. Cheers to those who can appreciate having a great SO in their lives.
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