northern_sky Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Well I disagree with everyone. He DOES sound self absorbed but I can't tell how bright he is from what he writes. Basically, he sounds different. I really go for interesting/quirky rather than cookie-cutter personalities even if it comes at a price of some intelligence. The fact that he chaotic/free thinker appeals to me. His picture is also very cute I can relate because I used to be attracted to the same type, in my late teens/early twenties. My interest waned once I started at a college filled with artsy schmucks and got sick from over-exposure. I make a distinction between "artistic" and "artsy." They are not mutually exclusive, though. Someone can be artistic in the sense of having artistic appreciation and passion for art-making, but they lack interest in the freewheeling lifestyle associated with artists. These types are a bit less common than their "artsy" counterparts, and they tend to have less flamboyant personalities. Artsy guys, by contrast, are in love with their bohemian selves. They're often more about the lifestyle than the actual art. That said, there are a lot of artists who are both extremely talented/passionate and childish aholes (Picasso is a classic example ). I try to avoid those too. I'm sure I'll get a lot of flak for saying this but artsy guys are generally self-absorbed man-children, especially ones who advertise themselves as artsy like this guy does in his profile. Right now in my life I'm looking for a guy who balances interest in art with an analytical, well-organized personality. It's a hard combo to find, and I haven't been successful in my search so far. Actually J was like this, but even he was a commitment-phobe. I have a feeling this is the type you should also shoot for. Maybe I'll end up with someone who is smart but lacks the creative side, if it means cutting out the BS.
Yer_Blues Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Not as severe? It's black and white, drugs.. Would your job suspend you vs fire you if they caught you with dope vs coke? LOL, of course not, drugs are drugs... Drugs are bad, because they're illegal! And they're drugs! And they're bad! :lmao:
Author OceanGirl Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I have been under-exposed to artsy types. I studied math and computer science so most men I met were uptight nerds with very conservative views. A lot were quite intelligent in an organized sort of way but they lacked fun and spontaneity. Artsy people have always appealed to me but as you said - it comes at a price of a lifestyle that's not really compatible with LTRs. I suspect that I would do better with somewhat organized types that are not too anal. I am very chaotic myself so another chaotic person may not be the best match for me. It is incredibly rare to find a balance between the two as people are usually one or the other (or at least heavily leaning to one side).
Author OceanGirl Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Drugs are bad, because they're illegal! And they're drugs! And they're bad! :lmao: I would prefer a guy that is occassional pot user (like myself) but wasn't into heavier drugs.
northern_sky Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I have been under-exposed to artsy types. I studied math and computer science so most men I met were uptight nerds with very conservative views. A lot were quite intelligent in an organized sort of way but they lacked fun and spontaneity. Artsy people have always appealed to me but as you said - it comes at a price of a lifestyle that's not really compatible with LTRs. I suspect that I would do better with somewhat organized types that are not too anal. I am very chaotic myself so another chaotic person may not be the best match for me. It is incredibly rare to find a balance between the two as people are usually one or the other (or at least heavily leaning to one side). Maybe you just need to date a few of these guys and see what they're like to get them out of your system.
Yer_Blues Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I would prefer a guy that is occassional pot user (like myself) but wasn't into heavier drugs. This is definitely reasonable. I understand there are some implications to people being too into drugs for a stable, healthy, mature relationship. On the other hand, what about people who have experimented? Especially in college/when they were young? Does this automatically turn you off?
johan Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Maybe you just need to date a few of these guys and see what they're like to get them out of your system. I agree. They are sickos. After she escapes from bondage-gone-wrong a few times, she'll change her tune.
northern_sky Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I agree. They are sickos. After she escapes from bondage-gone-wrong a few times, she'll change her tune. yep, if she survives the Hostel-style torture in one piece.
Joe Normal Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 I have been under-exposed to artsy types. I studied math and computer science so most men I met were uptight nerds with very conservative views. A lot were quite intelligent in an organized sort of way but they lacked fun and spontaneity. Artsy people have always appealed to me but as you said - it comes at a price of a lifestyle that's not really compatible with LTRs. I suspect that I would do better with somewhat organized types that are not too anal. I am very chaotic myself so another chaotic person may not be the best match for me. It is incredibly rare to find a balance between the two as people are usually one or the other (or at least heavily leaning to one side). Do you have a tendency to generalise and systematise things a lot? Maybe it would be a good change to approach people as individuals instead, and to stop trying to plan everything.
Author OceanGirl Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 This is definitely reasonable. I understand there are some implications to people being too into drugs for a stable, healthy, mature relationship. On the other hand, what about people who have experimented? Especially in college/when they were young? Does this automatically turn you off? No, experimenting doesn't bother me at all, as long as they are not current users. I have experimented in the past as well The guys I have been meeting were currently using uppers and hallucinogenics on weekly or two-weekly basis. That's a turn off.
Author OceanGirl Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 yep, if she survives the Hostel-style torture in one piece. LOL have you seen Hostel 1 and 2? I have some sort of weird fascination with Hostel movies.
TaurusTerp Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 You have the type idealized, to the point where you ignore warning signs because you project what you're looking for onto these creative types.
Author OceanGirl Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 I agree. They are sickos. After she escapes from bondage-gone-wrong a few times, she'll change her tune. There is nothing wrong with some bondage
johan Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 You have the type idealized, to the point where you ignore warning signs because you project what you're looking for onto these creative types. Freud is clapping his bony hands.
northern_sky Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 No, experimenting doesn't bother me at all, as long as they are not current users. I have experimented in the past as well The guys I have been meeting were currently using uppers and hallucinogenics on weekly or two-weekly basis. That's a turn off. Interesting, I don't personally know any guys over college age who ever use anything except weed.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Not as severe? It's black and white, drugs.. Would your job suspend you vs fire you if they caught you with dope vs coke? LOL, of course not, drugs are drugs... Alcohol is a drug.
Author OceanGirl Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Things are moving quickly with this guy. He just wrote: I have no patience for e-mail correspondence, would you like to have coffee and see if there is a spark? I said: You read my mind
johan Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 Don't forget to take protection. The last thing we need is a bunch of little OceanGirls running around the place.
northern_sky Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 (edited) LOL have you seen Hostel 1 and 2? I have some sort of weird fascination with Hostel movies. I saw the first one and turned it off after awhile. I have an extremely thick skin when it comes to being disturbed or offended, but I just felt slimy watching it. It didn't gross me out so much as depress me. I love horror movies, but this didn't have any artistry, sense of humor or entertainment value. I think that's why it depressed me. The genre is called "torture porn." Edited January 2, 2011 by northern_sky
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