amagordos Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Why is moving on so hard to do? At first i didn't care that my ex got a girlfriend, thought it did hurt me a little. Now it bothers me a lot and I don't know why because i was never that into him to begin with. I wanted to like him, and at first he was so nice, that i felt I could fall for him over time, but then he started acting more distant and I began to feel clingy and that is what prompted me to break it off. He didn't sound upset, in fact he suggested we remained friends and that bothered me because it seemed he didn't really care about us together. Why i can't l let go? He hurt me, but I also feel like i did hurt him as well. He contacted me a month later and I was short with him, maybe he wanted to reconnect or just talk to me because he was over me already, I don't know because I didn't give it a chance. I was too proud and afraid that he would start acting distant again. It seems like him and his new girl are more compatible, so im happy for him, but still it hurts me. He is my friend on facebook, I don't know if to delete him or not. This is my first break up so I don't know how to move on. Please someone help me.
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Why is moving on so hard to do? At first i didn't care that my ex got a girlfriend, thought it did hurt me a little. Now it bothers me a lot and I don't know why because i was never that into him to begin with. I wanted to like him, and at first he was so nice, that i felt I could fall for him over time, but then he started acting more distant and I began to feel clingy and that is what prompted me to break it off. He didn't sound upset, in fact he suggested we remained friends and that bothered me because it seemed he didn't really care about us together. Why i can't l let go? He hurt me, but I also feel like i did hurt him as well. He contacted me a month later and I was short with him, maybe he wanted to reconnect or just talk to me because he was over me already, I don't know because I didn't give it a chance. I was too proud and afraid that he would start acting distant again. It seems like him and his new girl are more compatible, so im happy for him, but still it hurts me. He is my friend on facebook, I don't know if to delete him or not. This is my first break up so I don't know how to move on. Please someone help me. Bold bits say it all. You're miffed because although you were one, you weren't THE one. I would think it's a matter of slightly dented pride.... From what I can see....
Movingthrough Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Another point to remember is facebook does wonders for making things look great. I either read it on here or heard from someone and they "Do you think they are going to post a picture of them fighting up there?". Its all about how good it looks. I knew a girl that was married and had so many pictures online, happy laughing, the whole nine. I remember seeing her with he husband and thinking that the didnt look happy, they get divorced and i just remember thinking wow so what was up with all those pictures? Im in the same boat, my ex moved on real quick, and her new guy seems a lot more "laid back" and it hurts because i know she said i would take things too seriously. I really wish i knew the exact answer as why its so hard to move on, it has to be the emotions that connect us, but like you said, i dont know why. I could rattle off about a hundred things that are BIG time deal breakers for me and my ex but i still have her on my mind. Im hoping that when this is all over i will have an answer..
Author amagordos Posted January 1, 2011 Author Posted January 1, 2011 Thanks guys, you made a lot of good points. I do have a dented pride and it does hurt me to know he moved on so quickly. Yeah he seems to be way more into her than he ever was with me. Yeah I guess I just have to let time pass, I decided. Maybe Ill never know why it is so hard to move on.
Keridan Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Dented pride is one huge factor, I bet. I would bet another factor is jealousy. You don't have to want him to be jealous that he's got someone he cares about. If you are feeling lonely and sad that it didn't work out, it would be nice if he had the same remorse instead of going off and being happy like some jerk. Over time you may find someone else, but you will definitely feel more okay being without him. You don't seem to miss him as much as you miss what you wished it could have been. Go out with friends, find hobbies that interest you, and just maybe find another person. You will be feeling better in no time. I wish you the best of luck!
Nad14 Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 I am in the same situation. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I broke up with my bf of 2.5 years yesterday. We have been in ldr relationship for about 5 months ( I was in Australia for about 3 years before moving back to Malaysia 5 months ago). Reason for the break up was because he said he couldn’t handle the distance and he wants to have sex with other woman. He blamed me for trying to pressure him into marrying me which is not true as I am not financially secured. I only did that to annoy the hell out of him. I am so confused and devastated. He keeps on saying that he loves me so much and he wants me to remember that. If you love someone so much why would you do this to them? [/sIZE][/FONT] I am going crazy atm. hope tomorrow will better than today.
Author amagordos Posted January 2, 2011 Author Posted January 2, 2011 Thanks keridan, what you said makes so much sense. I am jealous that he has someone and I don't and yeah I really wanted things to work out, but they didn't. I guess he didn't care enough to want to make things work, so I shouldn't dwell on it. It's still hard, but I will keep myself distracted and I wont rush into meeting another guy. I know someday ill look back on today with fond memories.
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