krymej Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 My ex girl left me boxing day she said she just wanted to remain good friends for now as she is confused with things in her life. i have gone NC and just left her to it really she did however text me two days later to make small talk. i was pretty upset she never text me happy new year last night i wander what all this means? even after so soon of breaking up. has she moved on this soon already and just forgot about what we had... i am finding it hard today as i am wondering if we are at a stale mate and i need to text her today just to wish the year in... but i am trying my hardest to keep my discipline. i dont Want NC to push her away as a result...
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 Let her approach you. But if it's just 'small talk' tell her that unless you two can work together to constructively move your relationship forward, you see little reason in indulging in 'small talk'...Either please to contact you if she wants to talk about you two working together - or if not - lay off the contact, thanks! Small talk is only designed to make her feel better and assuage her guilt. She's not doing it to make you feel better....
Author krymej Posted January 1, 2011 Author Posted January 1, 2011 Thanks i need to just keep my discipline with this one... its a toughie today. we go to a spiritual development class together and she was texting still to let me know when it was starting again in the new year and if i was still coming. she also mentioned she had a notepad of mine at her just in case i was wandering where it was! .....like im going to miss a notepad! I just saw this all as an excuse to contact me my wishful thinking that she was perhaps thinking of me. i just wonder how she is when i wee her at the classes again in the new year
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2011 Posted January 1, 2011 You desperately need to read the 'Caliguy No Contact Guide' in my signature. Caliguy actually worked with his ex, in the same building, every single day, and he saw her, every single day. And he managed to really turn things around for himself by following the advice he now gives.... Read carefully, and apply. And know that trying to second-guess the motives of an ex, or wondering why they do/say certain stuff - is completely and totally futile. Please, learn that now. Second-guessing never works. All you can do, is to focus on what you do. I know you want a second chance with her, but if she's broken this off once, the repair job will never be a sound footing on which to rebuild any kind of working relationship. The only one of you two who should be trying to reconcile, make efforts and really try to make it work - is the person who breaks it off in the first place. You can't fix it, you can't try for a second chance. SHE's the one who has to want that, and maybe even more than you do.... Even so, if a second chance ever does come round, this break will always be hanging over you, and playing on your mind. You'll be on tenterhooks waiting for the next time.... The thing you need to do is to consider this break, permanent.
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