jojoqueen Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I not sure if I overreacting or not. I do know that I cant control how I am feeling. I woke up one morning and went to my computer(like normal) I was going to check my own email, however, my spouse(not married, been together for 21 yrs), had left his email open by accident. I saw the first email from someone I didn't know, so naturally I had to look. The content was innocent. However, I realized that there were many from this person. So, I looked at them. To my shock, they were emails confirming that they had a very long email relationship, which had led to a single encounter of groping, both seemed to be apologizing and clearing up that it would never happen again. The problem I am having is that they still work in the same office building. I know for sure that on one occasion she secretly delivered coffee to his office before he got to work. (I know this because i don't trust anymore, and if i find the oppertunity, I snoop through his phone). I have access to his email account now, however, through all of my snooping, I have found another email account that he doesn't know I know about, however, there has never been any activity on the "secret" account. Am I overreacting about the seriousness of this? I feel like I cant trust and have a hard time believing what i am being told.
PegNosePete Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 You're not over-reacting at all. He cheated on you. He is keeping secrets from you. It's a very, very bad thing. Print off the email and confront him about it.
Linda9999 Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 Are you comfortable that you have enough evidence to be confident in what really happened? If not, continue to gather evidence before you confront him. If he denies anything happened, you have to be able to prove otherwise if you know something did happen. I am so sorry this is happening to you. I discovered my husband had been trying to hire a 'model' from a sex escort agency for a clandestine hotel room encounter in exactly the same manner. He had two secret email accounts and a secret cell phone.
paleblue Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 you have every right to be suspicious as far as I am concerned. he isn’t being completely open with you. and if he isnt being completely open than he is trying to hide something. not cool.
Author jojoqueen Posted December 31, 2010 Author Posted December 31, 2010 I have confronted him, that morning. His first response was to tell me it was just a coworker, at that point he had no idea that I had read all the other emails as well. He admitted to it, said he was sorry, and then told me that "at least I was doing the right thing" in ending it. I thought I would be able to work through this. But it has been 6 months, and somedays it's ok, others I have so much crap in my head. I am always looking for stuff now. I see things differently, like when he went to his staff dinner and did not invite me!? ( I know she did not attend that dinner) Normally this would not bother me, I dont like to attend that kind of event. I would prefer to stay home with my children, so he has always gone alone before.
PegNosePete Posted December 31, 2010 Posted December 31, 2010 I have confronted him, that morning. His first response was to tell me it was just a coworker, at that point he had no idea that I had read all the other emails as well. He admitted to it, said he was sorry, and then told me that "at least I was doing the right thing" in ending it. What a crock of *****. He is only sorry that he got caught. He did not do the right thing in hiding it from you and lying to you about it. He seems to have gotten away with ot Scott free, with no adverse repercussions of his actions. He has no disinclination to cheat on you again.
2010_Sorry Posted January 2, 2011 Posted January 2, 2011 It seems like you're still concerned about the co-worker in particular... have you considered that he could have moved on to someone else?
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