Author J0N Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 What I meant was that I really enjoy making other people happy. More so than I enjoy when people do nice things for me. For example, I enjoy giving gifts to others more than I enjoy receiving them. I have always been that way. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 @strangeways I also think one of the key catalysts of my pinning is my current situation. *I currently live in an area where people come to settle down and start their families. I feel really isolated; I do not have many friends where I currently live. I have a great job right now, but I think I am going to start focusing all my energy into getting a new job in a big city like New York, Boston, Chicago, or San Francisco or something of the like. I want to go somewhere new, meet new people and start my life over. I am young and I really want something new, but getting a job is proving to be very difficult, and that ultimately is the deal breaker. I think in my current situation, it will take substantially longer to get over my ex girlfriend. This is a problem for me as well... I live in the burbs where its all minivans and families. Not a whole lot of young(er) single professionals. Its depressing to goto the mall or grocery store and all you see are soccer moms with huge rocks on their fingers. I need to move more towards DC, but unfortunately my ex lives 15 minutes away with her parents and we have to handoff our son twice a week. Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 This is a problem for me as well... I live in the burbs where its all minivans and families. Not a whole lot of young(er) single professionals. Its depressing to goto the mall or grocery store and all you see are soccer moms with huge rocks on their fingers. I need to move more towards DC, but unfortunately my ex lives 15 minutes away with her parents and we have to handoff our son twice a week. Sigh. Tell me about it man. I was in the grocery store the other day and I saw a pretty good looking girl, I have gotten pretty good at taking a look at their left hands without getting noticed. But anyways this girl looked about my age and had no ring on, I got really excited until her husband came around with the grocery cart and the kids. I guess she just wasn't wearing it. 99% Chance says nothing would have happened but at least it might have been a sign of hope. There are just no people my age where I live, lot of minivans though. I tried talking to my parents, and all they will say is "Life isnt all sunshine and lolly pops, toughen up" As of right now, I (on average) only talk to three people a day. My boss and our two secretaries (they are both in there 50's and married). I am getting LONELY. I feel so pathetic, I have a $hit load of friends, trouble is, is that they all live in other cities. Link to post Share on other sites
suddendumpee Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I'm in a similar situation. I bought a house in the burbs with another ex years ago, and I got stuck here. I live alone in a 4BR house in an area full of families and nobody my age. I don't like picking people up at bars. I've decided to pretty much write the winter off. I'm working out like crazy to be my best for the summer when I plan to spend every weekend on the lake, at a beach , or at a pool party somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGrimSweeper Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I'm with you guys though my city isnt quite the same, I live downtown in the biggest city in Canada, so there is lots of younger people my age, its just the opportunity to meet them isn't as good anymore. I just finished University in August and starting working full time in October. There really isn't many people my age who work here at all so meeting someone at work is kind of out of the question. I dont actually have that many friends downtown here too, only a select few I see. Most of my friends are about an hour away so I only really see them on weekends. It makes for some very lonely weekday nights after work. I became kinda depressed after I finished Uni, and the fact that I realized I didnt have that many friends down here. My ex was super busy with school and work, and had quite a few friends she could always hang out with (shes in 3rd year uni) and without even realizing i became down about this and not having as much time to spend with her. I lost my confidence a bit and i have a big feeling this is part of the reason why she ended it at the beggining of December. I wasn't quite the same person she started dating 2 years ago. I can safely say I am getting a lot better though (been broken up for 1.5 months, talked right after christmas with her for a bit, then she wished me a happy new years but havent heard anything since). I signed up for some night courses taking Spanish (friends and me are planning a trip to South America in the summer). As well I'm joining some indoor co-ed soccer leagues for the summer in the hopes of meeting new ppl. Gonna join some running clubs once it gets warmer. I just hate myself for becoming that person with no confidence that Im sure kinda pushed her away and made me less . So Im trying to keep myself very busy so that never happens again, lonely nights at home at the apartment by myself just kill me. I never see my roomates cause their always hanging out with their girlfriends, which certainly doesnt help the situation at all, and its been like that for months even before we broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 I'm with you guys though my city isnt quite the same, I live downtown in the biggest city in Canada, so there is lots of younger people my age, its just the opportunity to meet them isn't as good anymore. I just finished University in August and starting working full time in October. There really isn't many people my age who work here at all so meeting someone at work is kind of out of the question. I dont actually have that many friends downtown here too, only a select few I see. Most of my friends are about an hour away so I only really see them on weekends. It makes for some very lonely weekday nights after work. I became kinda depressed after I finished Uni, and the fact that I realized I didnt have that many friends down here. My ex was super busy with school and work, and had quite a few friends she could always hang out with (shes in 3rd year uni) and without even realizing i became down about this and not having as much time to spend with her. I lost my confidence a bit and i have a big feeling this is part of the reason why she ended it at the beggining of December. I wasn't quite the same person she started dating 2 years ago. I can safely say I am getting a lot better though (been broken up for 1.5 months, talked right after christmas with her for a bit, then she wished me a happy new years but havent heard anything since). I signed up for some night courses taking Spanish (friends and me are planning a trip to South America in the summer). As well I'm joining some indoor co-ed soccer leagues for the summer in the hopes of meeting new ppl. Gonna join some running clubs once it gets warmer. I just hate myself for becoming that person with no confidence that Im sure kinda pushed her away and made me less . So Im trying to keep myself very busy so that never happens again, lonely nights at home at the apartment by myself just kill me. I never see my roomates cause their always hanging out with their girlfriends, which certainly doesnt help the situation at all, and its been like that for months even before we broke up. Exactly, its good that your getting involved in activities around your area though. Being in a big city, should at least make it a little easier to meet people. It sucks that all of your roommates are never around. You sound like you have at least gotten the ball rolling though. Feeling all alone suuuuuucks though, its gets awfully boring hanging out alone all the time. Or when you are so bored on a Friday night that you go to sleep early, I do it all the time. FML Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 So I went to the gym yesterday, and there were a TON of girls there who seemed to be my age. I think this is just due to most local colleges still being on break. But anyways, I was thinking about joining some clubs (running, biking). I am ready to get out and start meeting new people. I was also thinking about online dating. I have never done anything like it before, but I think some casual dating may be good for me. I am not ‘over’ my ex enough to really get serious, at least I don’t think. *Have any of you ever done anything like this? Which websites are the best? Have you ever had any success with it? I don’t know what I am doing and I don’t want to end up with a 400 lb girl who says she is 5’9” and 135 lbs. Do most people lie or are they honest? I am still a little iffy about this but I want to meet some new people. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGrimSweeper Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I was also thinking about online dating. I have never done anything like it before, but I think some casual dating may be good for me. I am not ‘over’ my ex enough to really get serious, at least I don’t think. *Have any of you ever done anything like this? Which websites are the best? Have you ever had any success with it? I don’t know what I am doing and I don’t want to end up with a 400 lb girl who says she is 5’9” and 135 lbs. Do most people lie or are they honest? I am still a little iffy about this but I want to meet some new people. Ive debated this too but online dating is completely foreign to me, and absolutely hate writing the "about me" sections. I guess you got nothing to lose but giving it a shot, id be going into like you just looking to meet new people, nothing serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Funniest thing is, is that I used to make fun of people for doing things like online dating. I guess now that I am in a similar situation I see why people do it. I have nothing to lose, only gain. But I am not looking for anything serious. Funny that's exactly what I said when I started dating my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 I'm out withsome buddies and one mentioned that he hung out with her a week ago (in a group) and she seemed totally fine like she never even knew me. I feel like I've been kicked in the face. Ruined my night. Just when I thought I was beginning to get over her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J0N Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 How could somebody who claimed she loved me turn her back on me like this? I honestly want to send an angry text, but I am restraining myself, I am totally relying on willpower. I loved her, I would have died for her; and she abandoned me. Wow Link to post Share on other sites
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