Ghosts of the Past

[Hules]

Hey everyone new to the forums feeling a bit low today and need to vent/advice.

 

Background

 

I have been NC with my ex of 5 months for 119 days (had to count that out on a calendar). We are both in our early twenties full time students. I would describe us as late bloomers/introverts (not because of lack of opportunity just neither of us have ever been interested in a relationship until we met each other).

 

Our relationship was great we had a lot in common i got along with her friends she got along with mine. Introduced me to her parents after a month and a half, introduced her to my family not long after. Anyway we never had any disagreements or fights just enjoyed each others company. A week before she dumped me (the last time i saw her in person) we had just gone on a double date with her best friend and her boyfriend.

 

My ex had made plans for us to go out in a few days time to an event she had wanted to goto for sometime and was quite excited about it. She told me to call her the next day to confirm details etc. called her the next day she sounded really upset i asked her what was wrong she had failed an assessment at uni and that she had to resubmit it within the next 2 days (she had been working on this paper for weeks). Said she had to cancel our plans i said no worries told her i would call her in a few days to see how shes going.

 

Anyways called her a few days later she sounded even worse than before i asked her whats wrong. "She said everyone was going wrong and she couldn't be in a relationship right now. Said she really cares about me but would end up hurting me if the relationship continued." I was gob smacked at this point as i honestly did not see this coming.

 

I asked if we could meet so we could talk about it. "She said she had made up her mind and that there was nothing to talk about." at this point i was pretty angry but i swallowed my pride and said "if thats what she really wanted then i wouldn't get in her way." wished her the best of luck and said goodbye.

 

Obviously after this i was a wreck a few days later she texted me saying "she went about the break up the wrong way still cared about me wanted to be friends yada yada usual bull****" i replied saying it was fine and that maybe we could be friends in the future but not right now.

 

I went NC after that she hasn't tried to contact me, i haven't tried to contact her since then. I have been focusing on myself joined up with the gym (lost 10kg) focused on my study's etc. Been flirting with other girls been on a few casual dates nothing serious. Anyway been feeling pretty good about myself until about a month ago.

 

my ex's best friends boyfriend calls me out of the blue (no idea how he got my number) i got along well enough with him because me and him are studying the same field. Anyway we talk for a bit and he asks if i would like to meet up with him and his girlfriend (i was a bit hesitant because i didn't know what angle they were playing) i eventually agreed and met up with them one night for dinner had a good time etc.

 

I have met up with them a few times over the last month but now more of my ex's friends are suddenly contacting me (i must stress they are not mutual friends i only ever talked/met with them when i was with my ex)

 

Anyway a few days ago they told me they are planning a road trip next month and want me to come. I cant help but feel i'm been set up.

 

This has left me very confused as to:

a) wtf is going on with my ex? has she had a falling out with her friends?

b) why are her friends suddenly all interested in me.

Edited December 31, 2010 by Hules

[Hules]

I would be lying if i said i didn't miss her from time to time. Am I the emotional wreck i was a couple of a months ago? Certainly not i'm pretty much at the point of indifference. However i wouldn't turn down another go with this girl but i certainly will not be chasing her as she ended it.

 

I don't know if her friends contacting me is a half ass attempt to get me to contact her but i'm not going to budge. I have been very careful with what I've said around them and they have been very careful not to mention her so its a little awkward feels like there is a elephant in the room no one can talk about.

 

Don't get me wrong these friends are nice people i just don't know what there intentions are tbh. Making me a bit confused.

[jenifer1972]

I wouldn't go on a road trip with people I thought had a hidden agenda. Could get dicey. I'd straight up ask one of them what's up.

[Hules]

Yer i don't know my siblings and friends think it is very odd that her friends are constantly trying to get my attention. Just wanted some outside opinions.